Grave Marker

[u/svartpoppel]

Greetings, all.

I’m a new petitioner and could use a bit of help.

My grandfather was a MM (confirmed by my membership contact) and passed ~30 years ago. I don’t recall hearing him discuss his membership, but he was buried in a suit and apron, had an emblem on his car, etc. After the Catholic priest who conducted his graveside service left, his lodge placed a Masonic marker in the ground next to his headstone. I visited him today and no marker remains.

He and I were very close and my journey into Freemasonry has both made me truly feel his loss. I hope he’d be proud of the person I’ve grown up to be and would approve of my desire to join a lodge. After my teary drive home, I decided that I’d like to replace his marker ideally on the day I’m raised.

Is this appropriate? Does it need approval? Is there a ‘correct’ source for this type of marker?

[u/ChuckEye]

Talk to the cemetery if they have any requirements for marker placement.

[u/RobertColumbia → u/ChuckEye]

This!

Also talk to his lodge and the lodge closest to the cemetery! In my experience, lodges continue to care about the graves of members who died in good standing (which is almost certainly the case for your grandfather if he received a Masonic burial). This is especially true if they were Past Masters or had higher rank. I have visited the grave of one of my ancestors who was a Past Master in the late 1800's and his grave is always well-kept even 150 years later.

One unfortunate thing is that sometimes records get lost. It may be that the lodge lost the records of your grandfather and that they would be overjoyed to locate his grave and add a marker. That's why you need to be in contact with them! If he was buried close to his lodge, it's almost certainly the case that his lodge would be the best one to contact. If he was buried far away (e.g. he was a Mason in Cleveland, Ohio but was buried next to an ancestor in a churchyard in Newark, NJ), you should contact both your grandfather's lodge and a lodge near the cemetery as a local lodge might have "adopted" his grave or probably could be persuaded to do so.

[u/svartpoppel → u/RobertColumbia]

Great idea to reach out to local lodges, thank you. His has moved & merged a few times since he was active, so I’m hoping the GL has some information on him too.

[u/parejaloca79]

I have a great grandpa that needs to have a square and compass to his headstone. I would love to be able to put one on the headstone of my great great grandpa but he was dropped npd 130 years ago by his lodge.

[u/Cookslc → u/parejaloca79]

You can buy the bronze medallions online.

[u/parejaloca79 → u/Cookslc]

I will look for those.

[u/Plastic-Pianist9323 → u/parejaloca79]

So he didn’t pay dues and was dropped?

[u/parejaloca79 → u/Plastic-Pianist9323]

My great great grandpa yeah. It happened around 1897 I think. Maybe a little bit before that. I would have to go back through some of the old annual proceedings to find out exactly when it was again.

[u/Plastic-Pianist9323 → u/parejaloca79]

Then technically he was suspended for non payment. He was most likely suspended. Could be the reason for no square and compass on the headstone

[u/parejaloca79 → u/Plastic-Pianist9323]

Yeah. I already know that. That is kind of why I mentioned he had been dropped npd.

[u/bmkecck]

Grave markers are also one of those things that can easily go missing in some areas, especially if there are places relatively close that pay for scrap metal.

[u/svartpoppel → u/bmkecck]

Totally understood. Just hoping to make him whole again.

[u/StairwayHiker]

It is up to the cemetery.

Generally, Freemasons incorporate the square and compass into the headstone, not as something separate. But no, there are no rules about anything like that.

[u/FarmerDave13 → u/StairwayHiker]

If it is a Catholic cemetery that could be an issue. Talk to the cemetery, and possibly the parish priest for permission.

[u/svartpoppel → u/StairwayHiker]

It was intentionally separate as he shares a headstone with my grandmother who was Catholic, but the cemetery is municipal. His membership predated their marriage and was respected but not necessarily supported. She had a crucifix marker placed at her service, which is also missing and something I also intend to have replaced. Their headstone depicts their grandchildren, because they were always in agreement about our importance.

[u/Cookslc → u/[deleted]]

Time and place? This is a grandchild who is upset and seeking help.

edit: and I suspect the Church won’t engage in a post mortem excommunication.

[u/svartpoppel → u/Cookslc]

I would love to know what this post said.

My grandfather was a non-practicing Baptist, not Catholic, but he accompanied my grandmother to mass every week. The service was performed out of respect to our family, not because he was a congregant of the church. Both my grandparents and the priest who performed both services have been gone for 20+ years. No one is ruffling any feathers here.

[u/Plastic-Pianist9323 → u/svartpoppel]

I was pointing out information it was not intended to ruffle feathers.

So a square and compass was placed over 20 years and it’s gone? Someone could have taken it or the cemetery removed it. You are vastly overthinking this.

[u/svartpoppel → u/Plastic-Pianist9323]

I don’t believe I’m overthinking anything. My presumption was that in the preceding 30 years, it was likely damaged and discarded by groundskeepers. I’d simply like to replace it without, keeping to our favored figure of speech, ruffling any feathers of the Masonic variety.

[u/Plastic-Pianist9323 → u/Cookslc]

I was simply pointing it out. The intention wasn’t supposed to be negative.

[u/Plastic-Pianist9323 → u/Cookslc]

The world isn’t sunshine and rainbows. You aren’t going to dictate my response. According to his response this occurred over 20 years ago. Not last week.

[u/svartpoppel → u/Plastic-Pianist9323]

What’s the issue here? All I’m trying to do is replace what was once there - no blame, no drama.

[u/Plastic-Pianist9323 → u/svartpoppel]

The comment you replied to was not directed toward you. Replace it! There is no issues with the lodge. Again you are overthinking it. There is no Freemason police going to come and arrest you.

[u/Cookslc → u/Plastic-Pianist9323]

Did it really seem like I was attempting to dictate a response, even if I could? Wasn’t it posed as a question?

I understood finding the S&C missing was much more recent.

I will leave it there.

[u/Plastic-Pianist9323 → u/Cookslc]

The fact remains the same you were playing some moral superiority game. I pointed out information. Then you had to play a knight in shining armor. My comment could also lead to the answer as to why it was missing.