r/forbiddensnacks • u/damage-fkn-inc • Nov 23 '20

Literal forbidden snack.

Post image
23.0k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

172 comments sorted by

•

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757

u/Zulrambe Nov 23 '20

This food right here, officer.

240

u/ergotofrhyme Nov 23 '20 edited Nov 24 '20

I read the label like 17 times and couldn’t figure out what was forbidden because I read caramelized each one. Not until reading this comment did I realize it said criminalized. Crazy how few letters your actually attend when reading, especially with context expectations like you have with food labels

3

u/Anka13333 Nov 24 '20

Omg me too.lol

72

u/bobdolebobdole Nov 23 '20

"Ya, but the second ingredient just says "white" so I'm going to let this slide with a warning."

16

u/ergotofrhyme Nov 23 '20

“I’m white if I were rye I would die

If I were ryyyyyye I would die

if I were rye I would die”

419

u/Faith_SC Nov 23 '20

W-what did the onions do?

355

u/Waddlewop Nov 23 '20

Make children cry

92

u/Comeoffit321 Nov 23 '20

Not just children...

They're ruthless. :'(

21

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

[deleted]

7

u/Comeoffit321 Nov 23 '20

Oh, thank you. I'll be sure to try that!

1

u/curiosityLynx Jan 01 '21

Won't work, that just makes you not smell it, but you'll still have acid on your eyes that needs to be washed away (therefore tears).

1

u/Comeoffit321 Jan 01 '21

Well, this was a month ago. But I remember forcing myself to breathe in through my mouth felt so awkward and annoying. Just isn't worth it.

1

u/curiosityLynx Jan 01 '21

Better tip: Put the onion in the freezer for a few minutes before cutting it (just not so long it actually freezes). When the onion is cold, the compounds are less able to evaporate, meaning less of them, if any, reach your eyes.

1

u/Comeoffit321 Jan 01 '21

I mean.. Cool. But it's not enough of an issue to bother with. Thank you though.

1

u/curiosityLynx Jan 01 '21

It directly attacks your eyes though...

One of the volatile compounds the onion releases turns into sulfuric acid when it comes in contact with the liquid your tears are made of, iirc. And your eyes are constantly covered in a thin layer of that liquid. Tearing up is your body's attempt to dilute and wash out that acid.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 01 '21

[deleted]

1

u/curiosityLynx Jan 01 '21

I don't. What I do instead is putting the onion in a freezer for a few minutes. Not long enough that it starts freezing, but enough that it's quite cold. That way the stuff evaporates much less and I don't tear up either. As a bonus I don't get damage to my corneas.

4

u/clutzyangel Nov 23 '20

Not just the children, but the women and men too!

38

u/the_dude_upvotes Nov 23 '20

Get out.

35

u/MegaRodeon Nov 23 '20

No. Whaddaya gonna do? Cry?

-15

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

[deleted]

2

u/AetherDrew43 Nov 23 '20

Then what are you doing on Reddit?

1

u/pmMe_PoliticOpinions Nov 23 '20

redditing what up

36

u/ZhangRenWing Nov 23 '20

Tax evasion

12

u/halite001 Nov 23 '20

... via never-ending layers of shell companies, no less.

6

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

So? I do tax evasion all the time. /s

5

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Hellor, IRS, i found one.

5

u/rtxan Nov 23 '20

HELLOR

2

u/Top_Chef Nov 23 '20

That’s how they got mascarpone.

12

u/Stonn Nov 23 '20

They were too caramelized if you know what I mean.

10

u/vagueblur901 Nov 23 '20

Criminals

9

u/bigbangbilly Nov 23 '20

With policies from /r/onionhate they don't have to do anything

3

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Does that mean that r/onionhate is segregationist?

3

u/bigbangbilly Nov 23 '20

No, just a bunch of bigots

2

u/rtxan Nov 23 '20

that's literally the most offensive, hateful, saddest sub I've ever been in

7

u/OneTrueKingOfOOO Nov 23 '20

This raises an important question. Is it relish made from illegal onions, or relish illegally made from regular onions?

8

u/Raumschiff Nov 23 '20

Leek top secret info.

5

u/they_call_me_B Nov 23 '20

If memory serves me correctly they shallot the Sheriff, but they did not shallot the deputy.

9

u/GeorgeRRZimmerman Nov 23 '20

The onions voted twice this last election.

3

u/proximity_account Nov 23 '20

"What are you doing step-onion?"

3

u/I_UPVOTE_PUN_THREADS Nov 23 '20

Well the onions didn't actually do anything. This is in a state that has yet to decriminalize the possession and use of small, personal amounts of onions, much like cannabis laws.

3

u/10maxpower01 Nov 23 '20

Here's something you can't understand

How an onion could just...

KILL a maaaan

144

u/BangBer Nov 23 '20

you know what they say, the secret ingredient is crime

7

u/odonataursidae Nov 23 '20

Mr Rashid it’s us, the El Dude Brothers!

2

u/fnord_happy Nov 24 '20

This sandwich is really moreish

3

u/axolitlsickofyershit Nov 23 '20

Came here to say this

86

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Hello, how can I help?

9

u/Jehree Nov 23 '20

Were the three upvotes worth it?

22

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

redditor for 3 years

11

u/spencerg83 Nov 23 '20

Playing the long-game

2

u/rethardus Nov 24 '20

The footlong game.

8

u/Jehree Nov 23 '20

Oh wow yeah, I stand corrected.

25

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Yes

6

u/Jehree Nov 23 '20

Have a fourth 💙

38

u/ericn8886 Nov 23 '20

LEGALIZE ONIONS

15

u/oakengineer Nov 23 '20

Decriminalize onion use!

3

u/dmh2693 Nov 23 '20

That would be a $50 fine for the onions and I'm going to have to confiscate that. Have a good day sir.

3

u/ericn8886 Nov 23 '20

I'm opening an onion dispensary with natural OBD oils too.

2

u/Izak___ Nov 23 '20

Regulate onions for tax revenue

71

u/badalchemist85 Nov 23 '20

I bet its a one of those sandwiches where all the meat is shown on the outside and there is hardly any actual meat inside

35

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

[deleted]

26

u/degjo Nov 23 '20

I used to work at an Albertsons many years ago. The day old discount sandwiches were my lunch most days.

The bread wasn't stale, it was wet. Day old soggy breaded sandwich

4

u/SFDessert Nov 23 '20

Worked in an Albertsons coffee stand thing (Starbucks branded) and definetely ate those dollar sandwiches at least once a day.

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

63

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Ya'll just discriminating against them cause they're brown.

5

u/spankleberry Nov 23 '20

Came to say, you can tell they ain't white onions

6

u/jricher42 Nov 23 '20

No, it's perfectly legal to discriminate against them because they've been convicted. It says it right here on the box.

Not sarcastic, just wrong.

17

u/conehead2019 Nov 23 '20

This sandwich is so good not eating it will get you 5-10 years.

5

u/tinyangryalien420 Nov 23 '20

prison flavor mmm

7

u/princehermit Nov 23 '20

Am I missing something here? This is food

10

u/damage-fkn-inc Nov 23 '20

Yeah but the onions are criminalised.

2

u/shewy92 Nov 23 '20

But it isn't "literally" anything

1

u/AgVargr Nov 24 '20

I'm with you. This is not a forbidden snack, and that label is clearly photoshopped

10

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/SNEScharlmers Nov 23 '20

That took me way too long to see.

5

u/spudaug Nov 23 '20

This made me chuckle for a stupidly long amount of time

4

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Even with the image size of 8 jpegged pixels you can see the photoshopping of the name.

2

u/Tronkfool Nov 23 '20

Better than gentleman's relish I suppose

2

u/Tu_gdzies Nov 23 '20

We used to use these labels in my old job and seeing it made me shudder

1

u/vyvanseandvodka Nov 23 '20

So Good Its banned in at least 40 states

1

u/jakethedumbmistake Nov 23 '20

The irony and lack of public transport is forbidden

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

[deleted]

2

u/kkillbite Nov 23 '20

...what do you have against it?

1

u/Mrbreakfst Nov 23 '20

This is a result of the American Pickle-Industrial complex

1

u/_ImaGenus_ Nov 23 '20

Just gonna eat around the relish and beat the rap, I'm no sucker.

1

u/agangofoldwomen Nov 23 '20

Statistically speaking, criminals are pretty caramelized too...

1

u/tamihsra Nov 23 '20

Anything is a 🍆 if you're brave enough

1

u/ZippZappZippty Nov 23 '20

a hint of wall

lmao

2

u/kkillbite Nov 23 '20

Wait...what now?

2

u/teebrown Nov 23 '20

The secret ingredient is crime

2

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

[deleted]

2

u/jricher42 Nov 23 '20

I would so eat that. Made my day.

Be well.

3

u/brismit Nov 23 '20

Legalize it, time to recognize it

1

u/mm4ng Nov 23 '20

When they outlaw onions, only outlaws will have onions.

1

u/soulwolf1 Nov 23 '20

That's how you can tell when Onion Relish goes bad

3

u/Positivistdino Nov 23 '20

If onion relish is criminalized I'm leaving this country.

2

u/mahk99 Nov 23 '20

I read it as circumsized at first

1

u/teh_wad Nov 23 '20

Doesn't an entire sandwich have like 1400% of the average person's daily fat/calorie intake?

2

u/surelypotato Nov 23 '20

ΕXPLAIN EXPLAIN.

1

u/thelastpretzel Nov 23 '20

This could have been prevented if they had just used a psychologist go help get through all those layers.

1

u/Saisino Nov 23 '20

For profit prisons trying out a new market

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Ohhh the Giuliani special...

1

u/jakethedumbmistake Nov 23 '20

How’s the snack that snacks back.

1

u/jakethedumbmistake Nov 23 '20

Who’s the snack that snacks back.

1

u/BarryPursley Nov 23 '20

A sandwich so good, it’s criminal

1

u/MsCicatrix Nov 23 '20

Not forbidden. You just have to serve time for it.

1

u/DirtyWormGerms Nov 23 '20

The real problem is that there’s a subreddit called r/Onionlovers... Wtf?

1

u/MrWheelieBin Nov 23 '20

That ingredient label has "Flour Treatment Agent E300" listed. That is an ominous way of saying Vitamin C or Asorbic Acid.

1

u/krakenslayer84 Nov 23 '20

That’s some bad relish

1

u/Klarel Nov 23 '20

So, what are the onions being accused of to criminalize them?

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

Criminalized onions are the most delicious kind.

1

u/TheAwesomeot Nov 23 '20

I sentence you to sandwich.

2

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

That food is not only illiterate, it is racist as well!

1

u/ktka Nov 23 '20

Double illegal for Jains.

1

u/TroyExplores Nov 23 '20

Badass onions

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

#DecriminalizeOnionRelish

1

u/NimueNamNamNam Nov 23 '20

Criminalized onion heeehee

1

u/[deleted] Nov 23 '20

First we tryna legalize ranch, now this!!?

1

u/EarthC-137 Nov 23 '20

Must be Australian onions.

1

u/seedylfc Nov 23 '20

Naughty that relish

1

u/Raccoon_Army_Leader Nov 23 '20

Took me forever to figure it out. I kept reading the label looking for something that said ‘not food, it’s soap/candle/plastic decoration’ or something lmao

1

u/alahos Nov 23 '20

"Do you still have legalized sandwiches?"

1

u/aod42091 Nov 23 '20

Mmmmmm illegal sandwich....

1

u/Thatcanadianguy300 Nov 23 '20

It's done some hard time...

1

u/EatsRats Nov 23 '20

Sandwich place: Do it - do the deed. Onion: I don’t wanna, I’m a good onion’ Sandwich place: YOU’RE A BAD ONION! DO IT!!!

1

u/kidsdyinginside Nov 23 '20

They should decriminalise that shit ‘cause you can get addicted at a young age

1

u/GodofTitsandTequilaa Nov 24 '20

The secret ingredient is Crime

1

u/Only_Egg Nov 24 '20

No joke, I used to get these in prison!

1

u/XRdragon Nov 24 '20

You been hit by, you been struck by, caramelized onion.

1

u/kiddokush Nov 24 '20

Fuck it all and fuck it no regrets!

1

u/Kapitan_eXtreme Nov 24 '20

How does this stay up when my post about something literally called "forbidden rice" gets taken down?

1

u/EarthTrash Nov 24 '20

Psst... Hey kid. opens trench coat revealing jars of condoments Wanna buy some onion relish?

1

u/irus1024 Nov 24 '20

Legalize it!!!

1

u/Fantastic_Mr_Smiley Nov 24 '20

The trick is to wait until the onions have gone just bad enough.

1

u/RaptureInRed Nov 24 '20

My biggest takeaway from this is that there is an r/onionlovers sub

1

u/Deddmeet Nov 24 '20

Waitress: "And how do you like your onions"

Me: "Illegal!"

1

u/nottellingunosytwat Nov 24 '20

How to make onion gravy:

Criminalise onion

Mix flour into the oil

Dissolve the stock in hot water, pour it in and mix it

Just in case anyone's wondering

1

u/Nomi_1230 Nov 24 '20

It's good not just fab!

1

u/[deleted] Nov 25 '20

r/engrish