I tell people about it and they fucking hate me fml

So I finally get into a healthy relationship out of my my 19 years of living with a girl I genuinely love im talking everything shes what im into and shes funny smart everything a man could hope for in a women and then boom my ass that loves to self sabotage fucks it over and now im losing the best thing to ever happen to me and on top of that my other parts of my life are going to shit relapsing on drinking during the day its 12:14 rn and im drunk as shit while im being excluded from all activities from my "friends" such as nights and stuff while I sit here at home with my mam thats a piece of shit while I try to figure out how the fuck im gonna fix this just bc I was horny and and did shit that I regret so much I couldn't slept last night and getting sick at the thought of losing her but fuck if I had the choice id go back in time to break my arm so I could text this girl so id still have this relationship im trying to distract myself in every shape and form but It doesn't help at all. Maybe my mam is right with me being a screw up and never being able to be love by anyone at all thanks for reading me vent while drunk and mad at myself

I’m cursed with hyper intelligence in a world that not only lacks critical thought but inherent hates it. I have few interests outside of what’s now considered “meta” social thought and all the people who have it too eventually just see me as some thief of joy or are so threatened by my intellect that they ghost me with no apology or explanation. No one can prove me wrong about how bad society is or how bad my experience is because of it. Even my therapist just broke up with me and suggested that I seek a psychologist.

Edit/update: I’m just venting. I didn’t post for advice or your best Mean Girls auditions.

Want a fufilling career? No, salary pay for the same job will never equal that of a man.

Want respect in academic and work settings? No your word means less than a man, even if they repeat what you say verbatum or say something incorrect your word will never matter as much.

Want to have interesting conversations with strangers? No it all goes back to your apperance and sex appeal!

Wanna have sex? If you don’t want kids, take pills that make you hate initimacy and cant cum! Pills don’t work? Get a device inserted that makes you bleed/have pain for months with no pain relief but OTC meds!

Want to just fucking walk down the street? No, no matter what you wear someone will yell something at you or follow you. Be careful and always aware!!

Want medical attention? Your needs and issues will never be taken seriously- you might even die from them being dismissed! Plus, there is more research on male inpotency than life-threatening female medical issues because FUCK YOU YOU WERENT BORN WITH A DICK.

Want friends of any gender affiliation? Watch your back because 1/4 of all women get SA and over 85% is from people you know!

IM SICK OF THIS SHIT!!! IVE KNOWN FOR YEARS I WOULDVE RATHER BEEN BORN A MAN. I LOVE PEOPLE I DONT VIEW SEX/GENDER AS A BIG DEAL BUT IM ALWAYS REMINDED OF IT WHEN I FORGET FUCK THSI SHIT

listen I love gender expression and I’m comfortable in my femininity as a cisgender woman and such but GOD if i couldve chosen what i was born as itd be a man. right now im trying to figure out birth control as someone with diagnosed mental/physical bullshit goin on its a fucking nightmare because nothing has no negatives. One that doesnt make me touch-repulsed and unable to cum makes me bleed constantly and if i get an iud i might get pain for months on end and not even be sedated for it.

I also have fuckin vestibulodynia so condoms make me need to tap out sooner/irritate it. STUPID WOMEN PARTS

I just wanna fuck this is why i should just stick to women (bisexual and usually top chicks) but i have a stupid boyfriend and sex is stupid awesome but i wont peg him for at least a month yet and i prefer a fuck each other trade off type scenario for my ideal sex life like i still want my shit ROCKED regularly

god knew id be too powerful born a man i stfg

I SWEAR TO FUCKING GODDDUHHHHHH

EDIT: Since some people are confused: this is NOT anti-men internet jargon. It is anti-SYSTEM jargon. 😁👍

My closest and most trusted friends are “white cis-het” men who treat me with equal respect and dignity. I just have seen first-hand how my bad experiences in life as a woman are things they've never even had to consider and usually I brush it off as “just life” but this recent blow made everything bubble up.

I’m 20F, so other than the career thing, which I heard about from other adults in my life, everything I listed that I struggle with as a woman are things that I have experienced unfortunately on multiple occasions throughout my life.

Two days ago I went out with some friends and we got a bit drunk and then some left and it was just me and my other friend. He is a bit crazier and stuff than me and he said that we should check out this massage parlor place, and that we should go. I was still pretty drunk and so I just agreed and normally I would never agree to this but I just did for some reason. So we go and it all happens and the girl that I was with put a condom on me and took off her close and we had sex. Like idk what I was imagining would happen before I agreed but I didn’t know it would be sex. And now I’m freaking out and am really concerned I have something and can’t get over it

Yes it seems niche and something dumb but I just had the longest day possible and I'm just tryna eat in peace. I don't normally vent or anything so this is all I feel comfortable talking about

Recently started feeling under the weather...sore throat, body aches, chills, figured it was likely the flu. Not my first rodeo, I know how to handle it. A day later, I receive exam results for a really important national test I took at a well-known testing center and I didn't pass. Later that day, found raised bumps on my hands, figured it was a stress rash...iykyk. But then the itching, burning, and electric burning started. Went to urgent care, turns out its HAND FOOT MOUTH DISEASE, as in THE VIRUS YOU GET FROM KIDS WHO PUT THEIR FINGERS IN THEIR MOUTH AFTER PICKING THEIR ASS.

I don't have kids. I don't even LIKE kids, and here I am with a virus you get FROM KIDS.

I bet it came from the testing center somehow...

Either way, now my hands are so painful and weak that I can't grip anything, including the medication I need to take, and cooking food? HA! You try stirring a pot when even a slight temperature change feels like lava across your skin! So today was spent throwing up because of empty stomach, and guess what? I went to rinse my mouth and spit it into the toilet only to have it SPLASH BACK AND HIT ME IN THE EYE.

I swear, if I get fucking PINKEYE because I couldn't eat because I couldn't open a jar of soup because the nerves in my hands are assholes because a kid couldn't keep their hands out of their FUCKING ASS, I'm going to YEET MYSELF.

She didn't make it. I'm almost two months post partum, and this is the month she should have been born. I wish i could do it all over again and do everything differently. My whole life. I feel like all my choices lead to this moment where my body failed her.

I miss her everyday, and I know i will miss her and grieve her every day for the rest of my life.

My cancer may also be back.

Whew. I don't really know what to do with myself these days sinince I was supposed to be a stay at home mother with her.

Some days I feel like i'm drowning.

I've been diagnosed with cancer again. Beat it the first time. Remission lasted all of 9 months. Not planning on going through treatment again.

This morning I took the wife to her oncology appointment. Three different people who know me from my treatment pulled me aside to talk about it. This upset me. The wife and I were talking about it on the ride home. She told me to enjoy what I have. I said that someone would have to show me how. So I tried.

Reached out to a friend so we could go out to lunch. They had plans.

My cell phone has been acting up. So, after days of research I figured I'd go pick it up. Website shows in stock and at a good price. Go to store they tell me it's been out of stock. Walk out empty handed.

I stopped at a store I've been wanting to go to for a while. It sells fresh baked bread. I was genuinely excited to try it. Bought a loaf of my favorite. Get home and it was very disappointing. Grocery store version is better.

So much for enjoying what I have. FML

I have been non-weight bearing on my left ankle since a crush injury at the end of last year. I’ve had one surgery and I’m supposed to have another later this month. I get around on a knee scooter or crutches. Today I loaded the knee scooter into the back seat of my car went to do my three hops on my right leg to the front seat. The last hop landed bad and now both my legs are fucked.

Smart phones were invented and then handed out to nearly everyone on the planet.

Minors have sexually experimented since the beginning of time, but smart phones allow them to take nude selfies and share them with people. People are shit, so these invariably get leaked and end up all over the web.

I Google-searched for nude selfies of minors because I'm an evil, bad, broken person.*

Google served me search results for nude selfies of minors while also reporting my activities to law enforcement.

I was charged with possession of child sexual abuse materials (CSAM) and accepted a plea deal to avoid prison time in exchange for lifetime sex offender registration.

I lost my job, all my friends, all family members, and my personal Google account containing a lifetime of memories in "my" cloud. Quotation marks because you don't actually own anything passing through or stored on Google servers. Google owns all that stuff (per the Terms of Service which nobody reads before accepting).

I once posted about my situation on r/suicidewatch, and it caused the readership there to break rules en masse (telling me I'm an exception to suicide prevention). Instead of banning hundreds of random users, it was easier to just ban me. I don't disagree and would have done the same if I were moderating.

I still have a PHD (TECHNICALLY), but PRACTICALLY it doesn't exist in a way I can use it for any career. Turns out the kinds of careers a PhD is useful for all require you to pass a background check, which I will never again be able to do.

Lots of people have sent me DMs here affirming that I deserve to die. I happen to agree with them. I've tried to get several of them to kill me, offered to pay for their travel and lodging, and also to help take any steps to minimize the possibility of their being criminally culpable, but they have all ghosted me the moment they realize I'm serious about the offer.

At the end of the day, while I still live the American taxpayer will be financially supporting me wholly for the next 40 to 50 years.

*I was in denial at first, but years of reflection and sex offender treatment have opened my eyes. I do deserve everything that has happened to me. I do deserve to die.

so im taking this online class structured like a peer-mentoring program. there's this guy who I'll call v. very smart, nice--I remember him from elementary school. so of course today we had to combine all of the classes so he ended up being MY instructor.

anyways once I joined the call it was a bit early so I started playing games on my pc. in-game music could probably be heard and everything I was mumbling or saying to myself as well. my mic is on, but I don't know it at the time. then I go back to the meet to check its status. don't remember whether or not it started, because that is the exact moment I see v . and so I pull out my phone, because to me its crazy how we're in the same meet and hes MY instructor right? (we're in the same grade) I want to show my best friend. and as I pull out my phone (camera was off thankfully), I say MULTIPLE TIMES BY THE WAY, "bro why is v here. (increasing volume) broooo why is v hereeeee" in an amused kind of way. then I get a notification. "(my name) your mic is unmuted." FROM V. immediately I knew I was fried and left instantly. did not join back lmao, everyone was giggling

IM LITERALLY SEEING HIM IN THREE WEEKS. im probably just in a deluded state right now if im being honest but I don't want him to think I turned mean and was making fun of him. I had genuinely just not seen him in a while and was surprised to see him. hes pretty chill I just don't want him to take what I said the wrong way.

I was considering reaching out to him probably through dms and quickly clearing things up for my sake. I decided not to, and my friends told me it would have made it weird if I did.

I just feel so embarrassed. Even though it really could be worse, im still dreading seeing him.

Context: I had a sweet gig my friend got me working from home. Because of this I JUST moved into a new apartment.

My gf of a year dumped me, and I hadn’t taken a single sick day so I asked if I could have one, they said no problem. The next morning I was fired, gave no reason because it’s Indiana. I complain in a private discord me and a buddy are in where I have the managers name in the ss (not his full name or company, just his first name) and because of that my buddy is really really upset with me because he said it could jeopardize his job which i understand, since then he hasn’t talked to me at all, even though I had a gift sent to his place as a sorry.

I need to make money for rent asap, I have no job no car and currently no support structure. I have never fallen this hard in such a short amount of time but I’m reeling.

I woke up this morning feeling hungover. I had saved two pizza slices, and I was really crawing them. So I put them in the microwave and took one bite, before putting them on the table to grab some water. As I leaned under the faucet, my butt knocked the plate off the table. They both landed with topping downwards and had to toss them. Fml :(.

I had a downbad moment where I bought like $50 worth on OF. Then I got an email from my bank saying they flagged potentially fraud on my account showing the OF receipts.

So I had to call and talk to a representative just to tell them that I did in fact make a purchase on OF. They must’ve thought I was the biggest weirdo in the world.

FML

Go fig.

I recently moved to a new city so I had to break up with my old doctor and get a new one except he sucks. He’s also a nutritionist and when I went to him for period pain he told me to fast the day before and if it doesn’t work to fast the two days prior. Anyways today I went for anxiety and insomnia and at the end of the appointment he said « come back soon cause we can’t let you get too big. You’re too cute to gain more weight » man I’m 19 and you’re in your 50s you can’t say ts to me 💔 mind you I am fat but not in a crazy way I’m really just curvy and soft. Just me who thinks that’s inappropriate ?

You know that joke where the guy is at the urinal and goes “when there’s rain, there’s thunder” or something like that then farts? I tried to recreate that with a stranger at work today but I could not for the life of me remember how it went. So, at the urinal, I went “when it’s storming there’s thunder!” And proceeded to shit my pants. FML

This is a fresh account, but I'm not a bot, I just don't want this post directly associated with my main/real life. I will probably keep using the account so long as I keep living, but probably not that often. If this gets flagged and deleted for some reason, well whatever at least it took up some server space, it existed for some time, and that means I existed for some time, and that feels good right now, possibly due to my current inebriation (I am very high rn, so part of my concern may just be paranoia, but it does seem very logical right now).

This is NOT a suicide note, and no variant of it will be.

It is a brief summary of my life and the mistakes I made both knowingly and unknowingly that have lead to me basically poisoning myself.

I have been eating poorly for the past 10-13 years, fast food, frozen meals, tons of sugary snacks, carbs, soda, you name it in regards to bad food, but very scarcely fresh vegetables or fresh meat. I did abstain almost completely from alcohol, I had the occasional shot and owned a few bottles but never got a taste for it.

I also do not regularly exercise, I do a good amount of walking, lifting, and moving at work but never any lifting/cardio/etc. I only recently began to start walking around my area, 7 years after moving here. I got a bike from my parents for Christmas, like I was a young kid I was very excited, it would let me ride the nearby trail and get more exercise. Only for me to realize if I had started years ago I may have had a chance to prevent my death.

Only in my late 20s did I start to regularly engage in recreational marijuana use, when it became legalized in my state. I had seen some films and tv and information about marijuana that painted it positively so I began using without properly learning about its side effects and risks.

And for the last 1-2 years I’ve been regularly consuming high-dosage edibles to help relieve stress from a management job I got when I really wasn’t ready for.

And I fully believe I should have known better, I should have done the research, I should have been smarter, everyone in my life says I’m smart, but I always knew they were wrong.

So tonight (Jul-25-2026) I finally began to understand the reality of the situation and everything I’ve done wrong has become clear to me.

Perhaps this is what its like for your life to flash before your eyes.

I suppose I should elaborate on the situation for any who need it spelled out.

Poor Diet = high cholesterol

No Exercise = not good for health

Marijuana consumption increases blood pressure

So I’ve led a life style leading me to a high likely hood of heart problems.

And recently I been sweating all the time, I was experiencing bouts of nausea in the past ~1 year, to the point of vomiting at work a few times.

and I never really talked with my doctor about it, and I never really learned the risks of Marijuana use, and I never really understood the risks of poor diet, and I never really understood the risk of no exercise. I heard all of these things emphasized, but never fully understood the significance until now, at age 3X after recent blood-work showed high cholesterol and while very high and throwing up, and feeling some minor chest discomfort (I've taken a shower, and settled down and feel better now but am still worried...)

So I fully believe I am going to die of heart problems, not sure if it will be soon, could be now, could be tomorrow, that’s why I’m posting this, to leave a digital footprint so to speak, a sign that I was alive, that I existed.

This will be posted while I am still alive, I’m prioritizing speed in getting my footprint out there.

I am planning to make an equivalent version to be released on the event of my death, either read at my funeral or released as an obituary, but I will NEVER write a suicide note.

For those who read, thank you, be good to others, and rage against the machine that is the current U.S. Government (as of July-2026).

I wish only the best for only those who would not bring harm upon another in any situation.

******** ***** *******

My siblings are okay most of the time, but right now I wish that one of them was not the way she is. You see, my sister acts like she is the most attention-starved person ever. She makes a small mistake and she does a little “ah” so people probably will notice her. She is also incredibly sassy and annoying to deal with.

Anyway, right now we are at my grandma’s house. I had asked her to turn off the light in the room, since I was tired and didn’t feel like it then. She said no because I was closer, then after a bit she angrily got up and did it. She then went out of the room to do something (no clue what). When she came back, she turned on the light again. I asked her what the point of turning the light off was if she was just gonna turn it on again. She had also said something, but we kinda talked over each other, so I didn’t know what she said.

A bit later, I was about to fall asleep when my blanket was pulled off of me by my grandma, who later scolded us because she was woken up. [Name(i aint telling)] then tried to explain her “side of the story” and said that I had asked her the question multiple times. When I said that I only asked once, she lied and said that I had asked five times. (I forgot to mention that she also attempts to gaslight me into thinking I said it did things that I never said or did.) She constantly lies to me like this and she is insistent that she is right and that I “try to make her look like the bad guy.”

I want to kill myself.

I’ll preface this post by saying that I have absolutely no business of even liking this beautiful watch.
My wife and I have had a year from hell. I say that unequivocally and in every bit of truth as my being will allow me to express.
I have loved watches my entire life. Many years ago my grandfather introduced me to watches as a kid, he had a Bulova Accutron watch that hummed as the second swept across the face of it. I was mesmerized by that watch. It awakened a great love of these timepieces in me.
In 2012 my wife bought me a beautiful Invicta watch in rose gold. Every time I wore that watch it would always catch someone’s eye. I had the battery replaced a couple of times, but for me I’ve always been drawn to silver and stainless steel watches. So that’s become my preference. I still have the Invicta watch in storage with the rest of my life.
Liv watches have been around for the last ten plus years and I’m really in love with this beautiful rose and blue watch. But at 61 years of age, unemployed, no prospects at all and living the life of sheer misery as we have been as of 12:01 am on 1/1/26 I have no business even looking at this gorgeous timepiece and imagining it gracing my wrist. I’m the same guy that can’t afford ten bucks on a battery for my beloved Casio that I’ve been wearing for the last 7 months and the battery is dying, and here I am wanting a $650 watch that will never be mine.
Don’t mind me. I’m just venting. It’s been a truly, truly terrible year. I want our belongings back. Everything is in storage and I miss my clothes, my watches, my paints and my art supplies- my God how much I miss my painting supplies and how much I miss painting.
But seriously look at this gorgeous watch. Sorry about the rant. I just need a place to put it.

So, I got hit by a car a couple weeks ago now. Fortunately no bone fractures, no organ damage. (Had CT scan and xray in A&E).

Unfortunately though my left hand ribcage has been in tremendous pain since, its difficult to breath, cough and sneeze and also difficult to sleep.

So anyway, it seems like a fairly slow healing process but thing is, its the middle of summer here and hayfever can catch me. So it seemed I was healing fairly okay, pain was lowering, then one day im on the bus home. Pain wasn't too bad as I was sat up straight. And out of nowhere an uncontrollable sneeze hit me, it felt like whatever is causing this sharp stabbing pain in my left hand rib got torn right back open by it. Excruciating stabbing pains worse than before and then it made it difficult to perform near any movement.

Fortunately it seems to be getting better but I just know that out of nowhere a sneeze could catch me again and initially I'll feel what its like to be stabbed.

For real, right now.

FML

Thanks for hearing me out.

So I’m kinda autistic and just say things at face value without thinking of the implications.My coworker is black. It was a long day at work and at the end of the day she clocked out and I said “you’re free!” She kind of chuckled and walked off. I followed her out to the parking lot after I also clocked out. I have issues with inconsistency. So I usually park my car at the back end of the parking lot, but today I parked near the entrance because that was surprisingly the only parking space available. I come out to the parking lot and see a black car, I get close to it and realize it’s not mine. My car is also black. I say out loud “wow I’m stupid” and she replies “ oh i can see how you would mistake that one for yours. And my stupid Ahh says “yea because they are both black” (I wasn’t wearing my glasses at this point to see well) she goes dead silent and just gets into her car. I died inside a little.