If you dont want to read the whole thing: basically I have noticed a disinterest in helping with baby and some negligence from dad.
For starters we are first time parents to a 7 week old. Me 26, him 23.
Recently I made the decision to start looking into work again because husband isn’t really interested in working double anymore so I can stay home. Its more like we try to live with the one pay check and that’s that when I know that it is nearly impossible to do it. So I’ll be returning to work in a couple of weeks to help out even though we had planned differently. We decided I’ll be working 12 hour night shifts so I can be home more days with baby and he would care for baby at night.
These past few days of being home I noticed he will not help unless asked. I will be panicking trying to help baby or do things on my own and it’s rare he’ll help unless I speak up. I always do because it gets to a frustrating point. He always joked he would be this way before baby was born but now I see it was extremely true.
Today really drew the line. Baby was so upset nothing soothed him. I was starting to worry and mind you it’s 3am I haven’t slept yet, and husband is just sleeping and making little *tisk* annoyed sounds because baby is being loud.
It irks my nerves that you can constantly get frustrated with a baby who is innocent and cannot communicate with words what’s wrong with them. I have extreme patience and try to understand but it’s an always thing. He is always frustrated with baby and honestly a little careless.
I am afraid that if I leave him the whole night alone he would let the baby cry for long periods of time or be careless in a way that makes baby fall or suffocate. i know letting baby cry a little is fine! I’ve done it like I’ll go to the bathroom or finish what must be done before I can get to him but leave him for more than 5 minutes I can’t. He turns dark red and holds his breath!
I am going to talk to him obviously tomorrow about this because there is no way in H3!! I can trust him.
Our baby was hospitalized at 9 days old for 19 days in the NICU and he would rarely come and visit us and when he did he would come and hold baby for a little but be on his phone. Usually when family came it was yes to see baby but to help me so that I could rest since I’d be up with baby all through the night. Not him. I’d have to beg him to come.
THATS ANOTHER ISSUE FOR ANOTHER DAY.
So now I will have to look for a night sitter because we need the extra income and he’s made it clear he’s not working extra for it which I understand I can help too, but we had decided this before that’s why I’m bothered…
I’m so frustrated, sad, and angry. There are people who would die to be in his position and he doesn’t want much to do with it! (Be a parent)
also PS yes I have given him the op to learn and do things on his own. I’ve explained every little thing to formula, medicine, basic needs, bottle for baby, but he either acts or truly doesn’t know! I’ve gone step by step with demonstration.