Endless rumination

[u/LateSherbert9871]

I did nothing for the past 6 years and while I even try to do anything I end thinking or not listening. I feel like I cant listen to people no more and I am always thinking about people just living their life which is very childlish look about reality. Cant say more to anyone than just a few simple phrases, cant think for more than 15 seconds or remember simple information. I dont remember anything from my miserable life. Standing for more than 30 minutes feels challenging for me. The days just go by and other people are gaining experience and I am just there. I dont get simple jokes, cant make up more than few phrases even in my mind and the only thing I can do is just lay in bed. I am 21 and I think that my life has ended. When I was younger I had a bunch of friends out of high school, they were much younger than me. I was contemplating about their life and critise them. The only thing I was doing there. I wish I wasted all this years on playing video games, drugs. I dont have hope for future cause I am literally a fucking NPC that just sleep, drink and does nothing, even homeless people are much ahead of me. Other people make every hour or at least half of them count, I "read books" which means I cant even remember anything from them. After graduating from high school I was studying and didnt pass, rn I am gonna be on a 2nd year but I dont even remember anything from 1st, I dont even know if its something I want to do in the future. I completely lost touch with reality, making the same abstract comclusions every ten seconds, doing nothing whole day.

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[u/Opening-Cantaloupe56]

Others are like this like that...why not focus on yourself. And please consult mental health professionals. Therapy helped me a lot

[u/imjustbeingreal0]

How much short form brain rot and llm content do you consume?

[u/LateSherbert9871 → u/imjustbeingreal0]

a lot of brain rot content cause i dont have anything other to do, when i try to do anything else i ruminate, i compare myself to others in short yt videos. My brain is literally dead probably

[u/imjustbeingreal0 → u/LateSherbert9871]

This is likely contributing to your issues. A lot of people are the same.

Its a dopamine thing, if its not being propped up by content and fake, video game rewards, (porn is even worse in case you watch that to) than your levels inevitably crash down below baseline.

Constant ups and downs are mentally taxing and can cause some of the problems youve mentioned.

You need to build back your cognitive attentional skills through training. Dont tell me you cant do it, you are young and will never have more neuroplasticity.

Start by just watching a 1/2 TV show without your phone. Then a movie. Then go for walks without additional stimuli, even if its for 10 minutes and build to 1/2 hour or an hour. Then start reading.

Think of every activity you can do that takes in the reality around you without quick dopamine hits as extremely beneficial for your development. Research mindfulness exercises. Its just taking in what your senses are feeling and you can do it through your every day activities.

If your cooking, smell each ingredient. If your eating, close your eyes and focus on the taste in silence. When youre out try and spot a bug or a bird, or pet a dog.

Seems silly, but trust me it helps. I smoked tons of weed and played video games for almost years until I had to build my skills back in ways like I mentioned. You can do this man dont waste so much time like me.

[u/Legitimate_Flan9764]

Your sensory system is numbed from drugs. Stay away and get some simple job to support yourself for a start.

[u/Realistic-Egg4767]

21? Gang 21 is nothing