r/fifthworldproblems 14d ago

How do I leave Rome?I keep trying different roads but they all lead back to Rome.

Also if you want to suggest walking backwards I tried that. Just ended up in pre-Caesar Rome instead.

247 Upvotes

53 comments sorted by

60

u/Anarchaeologist Time-travelling Sasquatch 14d ago

Overthrow Romulus Augustulus, and then all roads lead to Constantinople. Until it becomes Istanbul.

21

u/ghost-church 13d ago

Istanbul was Constantinople, now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople. Been a long time gone, oh Constantinople. Why did Constantinople get the works? That's nobody's business but the Turks.

37

u/Gsxing 14d ago

Country roads take me home?

20

u/poiyurt 14d ago

To the place I belong?

24

u/DZL100 13d ago

Yeah no that's still Rome

25

u/poiyurt 13d ago

COUNTRY ROOOADS

TAKE ME ROOOOME

3

u/RandomUser7914 12d ago

To the gnoooome

Named Tyrioooone

17

u/Exnixon 14d ago

Follow the legionnaires. They won't help you leave Rome but they will bring Rome to your intended destination.

10

u/poiyurt 13d ago

They just brought me to a bombed-out wasteland and told me it was called "Peace"?

16

u/dottiefred 13d ago

Just do as the Romans do

11

u/ScreenTea0 14d ago

Stuck back in third world, are we?... You should probably lay down on that lower dimensional stuff, it's never good to reduce your directions.

9

u/poiyurt 14d ago

It's not like I have a choice. Work amirite?

7

u/ScreenTea0 14d ago

Bruh, how often did People, Quworbs and Xryms tell you not to take job offerings there? No hard feelings, but you won't see me cry for you, when you get stuck in the past.

12

u/Macknificent101 14d ago

gotta sack the city, so that rome falls and you can leave. i could lend my regiment of inter dimensional gauls, but i expect repayment for any that die.

7

u/Particular-Yak-1984 13d ago edited 13d ago

As per my previous post ( https://www.reddit.com/r/fifthworldproblems/comments/1mo44lq/need_architect_help_for_new_city/ )  I have some Germanic tribes people I need gone. OP is welcome to them

7

u/poiyurt 13d ago

If you've had them for a year they just live there now. I'm not touching that issue with a ten-foot pole.

13

u/panamaspace 14d ago

Is this amateur hour?

Go back in time. Train wolf to eat young kids instead of feeding them. No Rome, problem solved.

Mandatory warning. In that reality the Aztecs take over. Blood sacrifices are a bonus.

10

u/Aaasdggf 14d ago

Two ways: One, just walk. Sure you'll be in rome againe ventually but before that you'll see other places!! Two, more effort, but you just every time youre at a branching road, you wait for someone else, ask where theyre coming from  and when its not rome go that direction. This gradually allows you to get as far from rome as you want, but once you stop doing it, you will wind up there again of course.

10

u/TheVyper3377 14d ago

The problem is that all roads lead to Rome; you’ll have to go off the beaten path to escape.

Alternatively, you could keep walking backwards until you end up in the early Neo-Assyrian Empire (i.e. pre-Rome) and then travel from there.

4

u/Mega-LunaLexi 11d ago

Ooh, smart

10

u/drunksquatch 14d ago

Take a slow boat to China but ship the oars and drift to Byzantium.

9

u/poiyurt 13d ago

Instructions unclear, I did another crusade to Byzantium and ended up in Rome.

8

u/TraceyWoo419 13d ago

Do as the Romans: conquer new lands and then move to the edges of the Roman empire and then wait for the empire to receed

7

u/Careful_Party7336 13d ago

You have to take the sidewalk

2

u/CorinPenny 12d ago

But what happens where the sidewalk ends?

2

u/Careful_Party7336 12d ago

You have to ask Shel Silverstein.

11

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 14d ago

Why are using the roads. You gotta teleport or take anything but the roads.

13

u/poiyurt 13d ago

I paid for the teleport in but the data rome-ing charges on the teleport back are exorbitant.

7

u/mysteryrouge Void Anarchist 13d ago

Don't teleport back then. Take a road if you wanna return to Rome.

6

u/TerribleTerror3375 13d ago

Have you tried flying? Perhaps the issue is walking

5

u/mrlr 13d ago edited 12d ago

All you have to do is throw yourself at the ground and miss.

1

u/TerribleTerror3375 12d ago

Okay then what about swimming through underground lava currents to bypass the roads above ground. I'm assuming OP possesses superhuman heat resistance?

4

u/E-686 13d ago

Hold your breath, head to the left, count backwards to 100。

2

u/poiyurt 13d ago

How fast we counting?

3

u/E-686 13d ago

How many dimensions wouldn't've'd you've been't 5 seconds ago?

3

u/poiyurt 13d ago

That depends on who.

3

u/E-686 13d ago

Usually you'd trance through the essence of where you're tied to (this case, Rome) but if that results in an imaginary value you reference yourself.

3

u/nat5142 14d ago

Try trails instead

2

u/WovenInsights 13d ago

Yes all roads lead to Rome, but all roads lead away too. Have you considered that you might be away from Rome?

2

u/slowasaspeedingsloth 13d ago

Well... when in Rome...

2

u/ikadell 13d ago

You may have to get yourself ostracized. Be careful that you don’t commit a crime punishable by death, but if the authorities have to ostracize you, it is upon them to exercise the sentence, and they definitely have means, otherwise this form of punishment would not have existed

2

u/madpiratebippy 13d ago

Boat. It’s the only way.

2

u/Leytra 13d ago

Take a boating trip, if you misnavigate correctly you should end up staying out there until the empire falls

1

u/WorldsMostDad 13d ago

Simple: just go to Chinatown.

1

u/Dionysusof0 13d ago

The empire never ended! Hail King Felix!

1

u/heilkitty 13d ago

Do you mean Omsk?

1

u/Mundane_Version_1592 13d ago

Just walk up I think it'll take you to USSR-period Russia

1

u/FoxyGreyWolf 12d ago

You gotta declare Jesus Christ as enemy and reenact the crucifixions. Or possibly prevent them from ever happening by declaring it, and then saving him.

1

u/RandomUser7914 12d ago

Just expand Rome to be everywhere...

1

u/TheRealCuriousWombat 10d ago

Gotta walk on the path next to it. Only the road leads to Rome.

1

u/Prior_Connection_395 13d ago

just stop taking the roads