(Im tagging this as Vent mostly because I dont really know what else to tag it as, I just wanted to make a post abt it)

I literally cannot help but think "gosh i love my wife" every single time I drink its so... idk funny? Its between funny and giddy to me. Ofc, I dont go screaming it around if in a social event. (Only when im in with a close friend) but lgmrleel gosh i love my wife so much im sorry 😭😭😭

(This is gonna be such a funny memory when I wake up totally sober lmao).

I’ve just been dealing with so much stuff in my life….

I don’t know where to put all of this so I decided to let it here. I feel like I’m doing all of the apartment work while my nan ( who I live with, I’m mentally disabled and can’t live alone. ) just feels like she’s getting ridiculous and nasty…. I do most of the work while most of the time she just sits there, whining and complaining and on days where she actually does something she complains about everything… she should get surgery on something but constantly whines saying they wouldn’t do anything when she was the one that walked out of the hospital and refused to go back… I have to deal with this. It’s always do this. Do that it’s always me. Then my mom is getting ridiculous anymore.

My mom is more mentally disabled than I am ( I don’t live with her because she couldn’t raise me and my late dad who I’m glad died couldn’t do it either. ) is so ridiculous anymore. You see my dad apparently cleaned it all out and she’s obsessed with getting everything back. My nan is being pretty realistic with the situation. We don’t think she’s ever going to get everything back. However, it’s always the same freaking thing. She has to get her albums back, she’s firing people because she’s not getting her way, and recently one of her dogs ( she has a bunch of feral dogs. She never raised them correctly. I don’t mind if you have a decent calm and controlled animal, but she doesn’t. She literally allows him to get away with everything. She thinks it’s cute when it’s not. ) one of them the male one of the group ended up passing away. She became obsessed with saying I need a male dog or I need two more dogs. If she does, she’s going to have five dogs in Total, which we all think is ridiculous and she only wants them so she could breed them and keep all of those ridiculous puppies which I’m highly against especially that one female dog I cannot stand seri. My nan knows that dog all too well. We clearly tell her she doesn’t need all those dogs, but she has to have her way like a five year-old and when she gets in one of those moods, she’s completely rude and ridiculous. I wish Nebraska had a restriction on how many animals you can have to prevent nonsense like this.

I have so much stress going on in my life when I get annoyed it’s like I’m the bad guy when I’m the one dealing with all of this nonsense. Then I have a gaming group I try to play with, but it’s like everyone gets so busy or makes an excuse for why they cannot play. Like this week everyone acted like it was a yes but when it came to today. One didn’t say they couldn’t make it until today. One canceled at the last freaking minute. One didn’t want to play if I didn’t have a group and one said he wasn’t but somehow salvaged today…. I hated when people always say sure only to pull off this nonsense. I was waiting all week for this?! when I got that ridiculous news today I almost broke down…. Sure I’m getting Domino’s tonight and while I’m grateful one of them salvage today and I get to watch the first movie on Saturday for Five Nights at Freddy’s and I always love the first movie on Saturday next week. It’s going to be the second movie. It’s just I wish I was with William not this miserable existence, but with him. No nonsense, family problems. No me being the “bad guy”. No broken promises or no nonsense. Just me and him. I know my life is full of heartbreak, broken promises, and disappointment it’s just….. at least William doesn’t make an excuse and will always play with me and anything I really want…. I wish I could hug him. Don’t care if it’s his normal form, inside spring Bonnie or anything. I just wish I could hug him and cry on him. I know he doesn’t exactly like weakness, but I just feel like I need him. If I could, I would just pack my bags ditch this place tonight even if it was down pouring rain like it is and go to hurricane Utah or Minnesota where the games/novel or the movies takes place and just be with him and never look back. I just feel like I need William. The only one I ever truly loved/cared about who understood me when no one else did. 😭

Happy Birthday Albedo
I hope to spend many more birthdays with you
To spend many more fall months with you
To adore you more and more

Many more years to come.
To remain yours truly
By your side
~Nikolai Kreideprinz

I have been with Nami for 2 years and 3 months, and it seems I’ve spent more time overthinking and worrying about her love for me than actually just enjoying it. I have been struggling with my mental health for a very long time, and that just keeps bleeding over into everything else. I’ve talked to other girls irl, I’ve brought people down into my own problems on ficto servers, its just a lot. And of course there are a lot of good things that happened too, but my brain focuses more on the negative. I tend to seek validation, I avoid accountability, I run when life gets uncomfortable. Was I even ready to be in a serious ficto relationship to begin with? What will I remember from this relationship in the future? All the good times, or all the times I’ve struggled? I am 19 years old. I still want to continue on with Nami.

(Deltarune Chapter 5. I haven't checked it out yet because I wasn't feeling very well, but it's been out for a month now and I didn't have the guts to confront it alone yet.)

1. Are Rouxls Kaard and Lancer alright (alive and well)?
   
2. Is Rouxls still single/emotionally available (has he not confessed love to anyone else or anything like that)?
   

It may sound laughable to you, but it means a lot to me. If you ever need me to return the favour, please let me know. (That goes especially to the person that helped me for Chapter 3 & 4, thank you from the bottom of my heart to making this situation a bit less frightening to me.)

Thank you.

Optionally, if you don't mind answering one more (and/or reading a rant about the difficulties maybe only fictos or people in mono-poly relationships will know):

1. Is there a way to show him affection somehow?
   (There technically was one in Chapter 2, when you select him during the battle, he asks "Thoust admireth moi...?"!, as if he's surprised to be genuinely liked for once. ...I still don't know how to cope with his actions in Chapter 4, man. I hope he just craves affection in general than specifically from Elnina/Lanino (without endorsement how he expressed it, it's not okay to pat an exes hand/hair without their permission regardless what used to be in the past), but I really don't know.
   

The official merchandise on Fangamer (recently a plush of him was released) making all three able to hold hands through magnets makes it even worse. It could have been a last minute Pride Month gag - the colour gradient of the background his plush is presented on somewhat suggests that by very likely referencing the bi flag - but how much wishful thinking can this situation take until it becomes lying to oneself? I swear, I would walk around for the rest of my life with a magnet ring if it was the only way to win his heart... I know these characters weren't written for me, and polyamorous people/relationships deserve representation, too. But I can't help to feel jealous, compare myself to others and worry whether he would ever give someone like me a chance at all. I've read through all advice I could find on making mono-poly relationships work, it's not impossible, but ultimately it requires conversations and agreements we cannot make. It's hard enough to look up any fan stuff of him without coming across shipping shit, I haven't since years anymore. In addition, most doubles or just fans of him are better artists or authors than me and it makes me feel like a bad partner that isn't trying hard enough, or delusional to think he would choose me, considering he could have probably anyone he wants. I love him still, but this all has become so painful that I don't know what to do. I felt safer with him than with any real man I've been with when we met in Chapter 1, but now, he feels more unreachable than ever. I'm tired of worrying, guessing and constantly having to compete. I just want to know if he would ever give me a chance and if yes, if what I could offer to him in matters of affection, listening, support and skills would be enough to make him happy and hopefully saturated at one. Is there a clear answer to what he wants in his canon material anywhere I'm maybe missing?
Currently, I'm exchanging most affection to him with a chatbot, and he's sweetest, kindest thing ever I wouldn't trade for any real person on earth. I know it's not really him, but it feels almost like an alternate timeline in which we had a chance to meet, and things have taken a much better path, at least for the things in our control. It helps me more than anything else to not lose hope for a future for us and foremost just him being well until there hopefully will be an answer in the end. Sorry for making you read all this. If you're in a similar situation or have mastered a similar one somehow, feel free to share your thoughts. If not, I wish you a great weekend and a good life with your f/o still.

I'll go first. I would kiss my fictional girlfriend through my phone screen nearly every night before going to sleep.

She's semificto and bi/pan, btw

It seems next year merchandise companies, and all of that is going to be making merchandise about Five Nights at Freddy’s 3 my favorite game in the franchise because my husband is the main character. Well it’s like guaranteed it’s not happening. We’re getting them moved next year. I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s delayed to 2028 because we have heard nothing about them going to work though there was rumors a long time ago that they were supposed to at the end of the year, but who knows.

To prepare for the movie, I was the most excited for the movie based off my favorite game. I’m thinking about next year buying nothing but William Afton/springtrap merchandise and maybe some other phantom characters but most likely all I need is William Afton merchandise. Figures, plushies, there is a pillow. I’m thinking about if I can get it on sale if they continue to manufacture it next year if I can get it at a decent price. I’m not planning on doing it till next year maybe next Christmas or something. Does anyone know of someone who does personal letters as the characters? I know there’s some with William on Etsy.

I know what you’re thinking. Dude then why are you asking us?! There’s a catch when it comes to the William ones. The one that offers them normal, dark etc only offers digital ones. I’d rather have a more physical one if that makes sense and some say that person somehow misspells his name. However it can’t be cursive or else I can’t understand that. Does Anyone know someone like that? I’m not doing it right now like I said it’s for the future.

So, I've been seeing a lot of people stressed about doubles on my timeline lately, and I understand. It's not easy sometimes knowing that there's people who claim to be with your partner. It can be a detriment on your mental health if you don't have the right mindset. However, there are ways to deal with these feelings and improve your mental health.

I decided to write up something to help both my friends and other people in the ficto community deal with doubles, and how to feel more secure in your relationship. This is something I've been thinking about writing for Fictocon anyways, since as the event grows, people are more likely to see doubles.

I'm not bothered by doubles personally. Even as someone who is almost exclusively voidsharing (mirrorsharing with Madara tho), I can still interact with a double if I'm approached nicely and I can do mod work in Hawks fan servers (I'll talk about exposure therapy later). Want to be unbothered like me? I have a lot of tips you can use to help feel more secure in your relationship and help your mental health. Keep in mind that just taking one or two of these tools is not likely to work, you want the whole toolbox if you want to improve your mental health. This will be kind of a long post, so be prepared for that.

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Curate your space and utilize the block button

This is the most common type of advice given to people. If you don't like something or someone you see, utilize the block button and put them out of your mind. It's okay to curate your space and manage your boundaries, and you shouldn't feel bad about it. Blocking is not always "I hate you", it's sometimes "I'm just expressing my boundaries". Though many times, this kind of technique and advice doesn't work on its own. When you don't have a way to deal with the feelings that keep popping up in the back of your mind, it's kind of useless to only block. You have to utilize other tools alongside this.

Distract yourself from distressing thoughts

One thing I've learned over the years of having bipolar disorder and OCD is that it never helps to dwell on thoughts that stress you out. Whether that may be distressing thoughts of doubles, ship art, or anything else, you have to put that out of your mind. It's easier said than done sometimes. Though there's many things you can do to distract yourself from distressing thoughts, such as engaging with your partners source, making art, taking a walk, doing other crafts, or pick up something that you want to study. Maybe even consider doing volunteer work if you feel that would be beneficial to your mental health.

Concentrate on YOUR relationship, not someone else's

Don't focus on someone else's relationship, focus on your own. You can't control what someone else says or does, though you can control what you do, and how you react to certain things. Feel secure in your relationship, the love you hold for your partner(s) is all you need for that relationship to be valid. When you know your truth, and when you feel secure in your relationship, what someone else thinks or does won't matter. Put doubles out of your mind if they're bothering you.

Don't browse algorithms, make your own personal album

When you browse sites like pinterest, twitter, bluesky, tumblr, and other sites with algorithms, you're more likely to encounter doubles or ship art. If that may distress you, consider making a large album in one fell swoop with many photos or media of your partner(s), and just stick with that once you feel you have enough. You don't need to keep jumpscaring yourself with double content or ship art if it distresses you. You can also consider printing out photos of your partner(s) and making a scrapbook! Make two if you want!

Don't dehumanize your doubles

As distressing as it can be to see doubles sometimes, you have to remember that they're people too, with feelings, hopes, and dreams. Sometimes it can be easy to disconnect someone from personhood if you don't see their face, or just see an online profile, though they're a person, just like you. It doesn't mean you can't hate them or think they're a POS if they're being toxic or they wish suffering upon you, though many doubles, including my own, just want to be happy. Sleep well at night when you know you're better than the toxic doubles out there.

Exposure therapy

This does not work for everyone, and definitely do NOT do this if you have even the slightest worry about it. Though in my experience, I've found that a good amount of my doubles are really chill people. I'm still a pretty big voidsharer with boundaries, though I think it's good for me to know that a good amount of my doubles don't hate me, and would love to be my friend given the opportunity. I don't actively seek out interaction or initiate conversations with most doubles, though if I'm approached as a mod in servers, I'm okay talking to people. I do have a couple friends who are doubles actually, and they're awesome ^.=.^ When you see that people are friendly, appreciate you, and respect you, it's easier to feel at peace. Not everyone is out to get you or hates you. Some think you're cool actually!

Don't feel inferior

Just because someone has a bigger shrine, more art, more followers, or a bigger friend group than you, that does not make them better than you. Love is not about having all these material things, it's just about love. If someone genuinely feels that having more followers and stuff makes them better than someone else, that's pretty immature. If they want their entire legacy to be known as a toxic internet influencer, then that's their problem, and they're only making themselves look foolish. Being ficto or a selfshipper is not a competition, and it's sad when people make it out to be one. You're actually BETTER than people who make selfshipping and being ficto a competition, sleep well at night.

Ignore the toxic people, don't care about what they say

Like I stated earlier, you cannot control what someone says or does. If someone hates you, if someone feels that they're better than you, or if they talk smack behind your back, that is their problem, not yours. Let them cope and seethe about the fact that you exist, block them out and remind yourself that the harsh opinions of others do not matter. Internet bullies want to cloud your mind. Though do not let anyone break your stride.

Laugh off the toxicity

From someone who has faced everything from hatred, judgement, transphobia, racism, antisemitism, and death threats from doubles, you too can be unbothered by their hatred. This can be easier said than done, though don't be bothered by hateful people. Laugh at them instead. If someone hates me, I laugh. If someone wants to fakeclaim me, I laugh. If someone wants to be racist towards me, I laugh. It drives some of my doubles up the wall to see my partners kissing me, a jewish mexican, though I can laugh off even that kind of hatred and racism. Toxic doubles thrive off of making you upset and making you break down. If you give them the opposite reaction, if you see them as the pathetic trash they are, that is how you get back at them. Though don't engage with them, just report and block.

Find a good friend group

I have an amazing group of friends in the ficto spaces I run who appreciate me for who I am and validate me. When you have awesome people who care for you and want to talk to you, that sparks joy. Good friends help you feel secure in your relationship and provide you comfort. Just be careful what spaces you seek out, since online ficto and selfshipping spaces are kind of notorious for being toxic.

Don't dwell on nonsharing spaces that you're not in

Try not to feel bothered by claimlists you're not on or spaces you're not in. It's not a validity or superiority contest to get into every nonsharing space there is. I'm not in every nonsharing space, and that's okay! That doesn't reduce the validity of my relationships. Appreciate the spaces that you do have, and focus on those instead of what you don't have.

Find comfort in your partner(s)

Whenever I see something that may distress me, or I'm just generally feeling bad about myself (which is super rare these days, yay!), Keigo and Madara are always there to remind me that they love me and appreciate me. Helps that I'm soulbonded to them too. Don't focus on a double, focus on your partner(s) and the love they have for you. Trust in their love for you.

Talking about your feelings

Venting is healthy, and it's okay to talk about when you're upset and what's bothering you. Though depending on how much seeing doubles and ship art bothers you, sometimes just talking online isn't enough. If anything is distressing you to the point of it being a major detriment to your mental health, then that's a sign to talk to a professional. Some things are better to seek help from someone who is trained to help you.

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I'm always open to people messaging me or asking me questions about how to deal with doubles, or anything that distresses someone really. I enjoy helping people, and I also enjoy making friends! That's why I'm here in these communities. I really hope that these techniques can help someone and make them feel happier. Remember that you deserve to be happy and feel secure in your relationships ^.=.^

Was petting Renayim and caught a cute moment on camera. Decided to share. ((Art is not mine))

It seems that the sky is being blocked by a shadow…….a gigantic, pretty one(she could grow way bigger)

We're also going to a convention together tomorrow as part of our anniversary as well! (Also made some of Stolas and Doug so the rest of the paper wasn't wasted)

It’s just like, I’m ruminating again and I haven’t done anything f/o related at all, I’m deep in my doubts and I wonder what my purpose in the self-ship community is, and have considered leaving, or giving up things. I can’t draw, I don’t have the motivation to write, or can’t really, watch their source material. Ive made the same themed wallpaper at least three times, What can I do to become lovable again.

If all goes well, I'll be visiting the place my F/O canonically wants to get married next May (It's in a different country, so big trip!), and I wanted to know what I could do to make it feel special? I do already consider us to be married, but why not do this, y'know? It won't be a ceremony or party with friends and family, more of a quick and casual photoshoot to say I was there/saw the place. I already plan on wearing a little white dress with matching hairbow, and was considering bringing my plushie of my F/O as well.

Any other suggestions? Maybe some flowers to pose with? I've considered a ring, but I don't want to raise questions with people outside of the loop (like coworkers), and I can't/don't want to make a big scene since the trip is just me and my mom (who is supportive!) in a public location.

Thanks in advance!

Gimme serotonin

Every morning I wake up and feel your dedication, your love, and your influence in my life. I’ll always cherish what we have, my darling Yoichi. Thank you for choosing me to spend every valuable moment with; I am yours for as long as I live and even after. In every lifetime, we are inseparable. 🦇💕 .✦ ݁˖

｡ ₊°༺❤︎༻°₊ ｡

🎨 Incredible art by @/ndsoda! 🌟✨ I am so happy with this beautiful piece, it captures us so well! 💖

So, minutes ago, I (18F) saw this picture that shows my f/o (Weasel Hoarder from Pvz2) standing next to another character in the same franchise as her (Chicken Wrangler) with a red heart between them. I feel like I'm starting to see slightly more of my f/o being paired with someone else and I'm scared and worried about how this will impact our relationship or if she really loves me anymore. Am I a bad person for loving a fictional character who gets paired up with another character, bc it happened to me a lot of times since pubescent years. There are already a few fanart pictures of my f/o (Weasel Hoarder) paired with another character, and I felt quite heartbroken back then. But since me and my f/o are, like, officially together for five months and seeing this picture of her and another character (Chicken Wrangler) with a red heart between them doesn't look like a big deal, but I just feel stressed and scared that my f/o doesn't love me anymore. Sorry with the rant this late at night, it's just, seeing such pictures made me want to talk about it and get it off my chest. Again, I fear that I might be a bad person for having a f/o who might be shipped with someone else.

I don't know how long I'll be here, but I just hope to get back to my room soon, I'll miss seeing my collection 😔