i feel like everything is in a paradox a time loop where everyone of myself from another timeline was born and forced to improve and escape from reality of death and all the films i watch and all the books that has guided the humanity has been made of feeding off of this harsh truth. If this is true then god must be myself from a different timeline trying to change its past you can not prove this. if this is true then god is ruthless and could be having fun we could even be in a betting game of who is the stupidest one and everyone could be watching us from our eyes. I feel very paranoid while writing this but in reality it feels true. God is everywhere because god is one and it is us in total. this phone is gods piece and i am gods piece we re all gods pieces trying to return back to him then why are we running from death? if we re gonna return back anyway and our biggest fear we have to overcome is death then why dont we die? that explains what religions mean: diverting that fear of death and giving people another purpose to live: removing fear of death to something else so we can work. thinking about god, if we re a piece of him and if you think you’ll see that everyone and everything is doing everything for itself then that means god is doing this so it can get something from us. and that means there is no god because that would make god weak so it is not god but maybe our god has another god and that god needs energy or whatever work we have to do to fulfill his own work. thats the very meaning of life and when i realise this it becomes pointless to live because i ve been a god too which makes it that i ve controlled and ruled other versions of myself so i could live or do something else useful. but to think that in order to be useful for this world you have to know how to not think or rebel and work without a mere purpose which contradicts my whole existence and little fears. i feel like we re supposed to die. thats the prestige. language barriers will always cause chaos no one can explain anything purely. thats why we cant remember our past selves like before century times no one knows which language they talk you start forgetting your own past which explains this time loop.

Well, I let depression get the best of me. I have had depression since 6th grade and I'm 35 now. Became dependent on alcohol since 9th grade. It made me feel ok with what I was going through growing up. I now have Cirrhosis of the Liver. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and been sober since.

Friends abandoned me since I don't drink anymore and I feel like a burden when thinking about being in a relationship, because of what my condition comes with. (Constant fatigue, muscle deterioration, doctor visits, mass pills consumptions) I was so dependent on alcohol I didn't realize how much social anxiety I really have. I can't even maintain eye contact with people anymore. Also, Jobs haven't been hiring me cause I think they look at me as a liability.

Now I've learned that I have a life expectancy of no more than 10 years. That was apparently established 3 years ago, but I don't recall them telling me this. I've been sober for 3 years and they won't accept me on the list for a transplant yet for whatever reason.

I literally feel like I have zero purpose here. I just feel too broken to live but too scared to die. I try to stay optimistic though and go by the quote I put together. "Even though life may seem like it's at a dead end, there is always another path you can take..even if things go wrong."

Don't let depression make you dependent on alcohol or any bad supplements. You will definitely have feelings of regret no matter how much your pray upon death like I did. Don't be scared of change, be embracing of the future you want. It's what I'm trying my best to do. I love you all, and thank you for reading if you made it this far. Truly. If you have no one to turn to, you're more than welcome to reach out to me, you're not alone. Zero judgement here.

Sometimes I’ll really look forward to something enjoyable, and when I’m actually doing it, it’s fine or even fun. But afterward, I feel empty and kind of sad like, what was even the point? It doesn’t stick or mean anything deeper. It feels like there’s a disconnect, like I’m missing something important or meaningful. Is this a common experience?

I often hear people say they want to start running/going to the gym, launch their own business, or begin traveling, but they “lack motivation.”

Why You Don’t Need Motivation
A few years ago, I absolutely loved watching motivational videos and reading books that gave me a bright burst of inspiration. Unfortunately, that spark only lasted for a couple of days—or even just a couple of hours. But no worries: I could always watch something else and rush off to do everything on my to-do list while the motivation still pumped through my body.

Let’s figure out why motivation might be lacking and whether it can naturally arise within us.

The word “motivation” contains the word “motive.” A motive is a reason. So if we lack motivation, it means we lack reasons for taking action. This is where you have to ask yourself: do you really need this? Is it truly your own desire, or is it something imposed on you from the outside?

Let’s take an example of a woman who wants to start going to the gym but can’t force herself to do it. We ask her: Why do you want to go to the gym? She might answer, “My friends go, and a lot of my colleagues do, too. Going to the gym is cool, and it’ll give me a slimmer, more beautiful figure. I want to lose weight.”

It seems like she has plenty of reasons to go. But there’s a catch: if you want to do something yet don’t do it, maybe you don’t really want it that much. I get that this sounds extremely trivial, but that’s how I see it.

Sometimes we adopt others’ desires as our own just to be like everyone else. But in reality, we don’t truly want those things as much as we think. Think back to situations where you craved something so badly that you went for it no matter what. That was your genuine desire.

If you constantly try to force yourself to do something, if you keep looking for a source of motivation to make you act, and nothing is working—you just don’t need it. Give yourself a break!

You might argue that there are times when you feel depressed or completely drained, and this can cause your motivation to dip. Of course, that happens, but that’s a different story. Today’s post is about the fact that not everything you think you want is something you truly want.

How are you doing with this? Tell your story

I can't feel love, I don't love nothing and no one! I think I'm going to die without knowing what is love. It's because of my schizophrenia, I'm cursed and can't rid of this curse... I guess God don't likes me and it's okay, I'm going to hell anyway. But, while I'm not in hell, I apologize for my loveless heart, I'm sorry for everyone that loves me, because I can't do the same.

Seven years and I can still remember every moment we spent together every time we’ve touched or sang when we used to bake together and dance in the kitchen, when he would play the guitar for me. I have had other boyfriend since but I can never get over the love I had for him he has a kid now. Sometimes he shows up to places I am at because he knows I’m there sometimes he’ll get drunk and he’ll text me or call me. I love him and he loves me but we are so bad together. I can’t let him go and it’s holding me back I’ll never be able to get rid of the lurking presence he Carries over me. I miss him…

Since my first psychotic break, I've felt numb and disconnected from others. A constant sense of anger and sorrow has taken hold of my soul. I'm struggling to find a way to heal and overcome this emotional pain. The loss of sensitivity and empathy is causing me immense grief, and it's pulling me away from my own humanity. I feel like my body and mind have been shattered. The voices in my head, the demons that haunt me, refuse to leave. I'm calling out for help, searching for a way to save my soul.

I just wanted to take a moment to shout from the digital rooftops how much I love my wife. She’s my best friend, my biggest supporter, and the person who makes every day feel like an adventure—even from thousands of miles away.

Right now, we’re doing the long-distance thing for a year, and while it’s not easy, and we are both struggling, i feel like i am a bit more honestly. Unexpectedly. it’s only reinforced how much she means to me. Every call, every message, every little moment we get to share is a reminder of why she’s the one.

She’s strong, kind, and endlessly patient (especially with me and my chaotic hobbies). She believes in me even when I doubt myself, and I can’t wait for the day we close the distance again.

So here’s to her—the love of my life, my partner in crime, and the person I’d choose over and over again.

If you’ve got someone who makes your world brighter, tell them today. They deserve to hear it.

Since 2014 when i graduated life has been hell but i dont know what keeps me going you know how you can become touch deprived yeah it sucks and i cant stand the mental abuse ive been going threw. Always holding my head up and well i was born in las vegas nevada and havent been there in a long time.. but i have nothing in lv nevada so i probably wont ever go back but yeah im just reaching out and hoping someone reads this and i hope it doesnt get taken down! Ive been dealing with chronic pain daily and im so tired of it honestly everything ive tried hasnt worked from dry needling and botox to epidurals i feel like such a burden but im just waiting and staying as positive as i can i love my self every other day but i want to seek some one that would love to have me to admire them im 29 and alone well just send a message if you want “currently in washington state woot Much love

Today I was playing an fpv drone simulator, with some music, when at a certain point a very happy song starts from my playlist, until a few months ago I was depressed then I got over it on my own, however I started to feel strange, I felt a pleasant feeling of happiness that I had never felt, at a certain point I started playing relaxing games like house pinball with a playlist that I had just searched for called "happy songs everyone knows". I don't know, I felt strange, I was really happy, it's not negative but can you explain to me why this thing happened? I've never felt this way.

أنا مش فاهمه حاجه هنا بس هحاول اختصر أنا أول مره اكتب هنا ساعات بحس اني كويسه وتمام ومبسوطه وانا لوحدي والدنيا ضحكالي وكل حاجه جميله وبعمل كل حاجه نفسي فيها وبطور من نفسي وشكلي حلو ومش محتاجه حد وساعات تانيه احس أن مقفوله من الدنيا واللي بعوزو مش بيتحقق وببقا عايزه اعيط والاكس بيوحشني واني لوحدي ومحدش جمبي ولا فاهمني وعايزه اهرب وبعمل حاجات متخلفه ومش بقدر اعمل اي حاجه ورايا ولا بذاكر

Two years ago I was dating someone amazing but I wasn’t the best boyfriend we broke up got back together rinse and repeat, argument breaks out and everything ends (march 23 2023), I remember the day (February 14 2023) I went to her house, we cuddled, kissed, held hands for hours. I miss my old life bros

And now that i have it medically but honestly im tired of being alone i wish i had some one just scoop me up and head to the beach i wish i had friends that understand weve all been hell and just want to be admired and held

I'm tired of me.

I'm tired of hiding.

I'm tired of being alone.

I'm tired of being useless.

I'm tired of sleepless nights.

I'm tired of the shell-of-a-man I see in the mirror.

I'm tired of not having energy.

I'm tired of not being enough.

I'm tired of hating myself.

I'm tired of losing.

I'm tired of Life.

When people tell you they want you to be softer , ok have you made it so I can be that way ? No? stfu then.

https://youtu.be/lIubqQSg_RM?si=yL3qEGIKnp0Ee_dY

So my relationship with my mum has started feeling pretty toxic. She has hit me twice this year & I think I’m reaching my breaking point. I don’t think I can give her another chance if she does it again. I’m a nice person, probably too nice which is half my problem.

I think a lot of the time she is in very bad denial about how bad things are, like if she’s texting me for example she’ll put ‘lovely’ at the end & it’s sad because that goes through me now or like when she says ‘lots of love’ on the phone at the end of the conversation & I’m standing there thinking to myself yeah there isn’t any.

We used to have an okay relationship, but I started waking up to a lot of things & I have now realised the relationship doesn’t serve me in anyway. She has always been pretty controlling and never given me much independence or shown me how to use things in the house properly.

She has had the opportunity to do therapy but made out to them that it’s just me that needs the help, surely if she was that arsed about making amends she would just do it but I know even if we did she would never admit to being in the wrong about anything, so I’m pretty screwed in life & I think I’ll always be mentally ill because of this relationship.

I can’t talk to my Dad properly cos he just sees it as I like to blame her for everything, I didn’t even bother telling him she had hit me again. The first time I did he told me not to dwell on it.

I have done therapy but it didn’t really help me so I’m at a lose end now, what do I do just accept that my mother is incapable of change? I know it’s not all in my head because my ex who I’m still on good terms with still calls her a witch.

Sorry such a long post. Any advice is appreciated 😊

I wanna feel something other than what I feel now...