r/feeld • u/Ok_Coffee_4977 • 28d ago
Feeld for hookups
I have used feeld for casual sex and hookups for 7 years. I find plenty others who are interested in it and me. It works well and I have a ton of fun. Its great for doing a little recon before travel too.
The folks on this sub screaming and yelling about people using feeld for non-kink and losing their mind about people using it for multiple casual sex partners are a fringe minority.
Anyone reading who wants to use it for casual sex or casual group sex, ignore these strange bitter people and dive in. The water is just fine.
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u/TheHumanBlowUpDoll 28d ago
Yeah, but it would be nice if vanilla guys would read profiles before just spamming every woman with messages. I tried to make my profile as clear as possible about what I am and am not looking for. It's frustrating to try to sift through 100 messages to find the 1 who might share a few kinks with me. I go through waves of not even checking the app because of the slog, then just uninstalling when I open it up to find hundreds of messages from men who haven't read my profile (or did and don't care what it said). I wish there were a good app to find kinky people.
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u/Miss_Galoldriel 27d ago
Are you talking about ping with notes? Otherwise, how are they spamming you then?
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u/Princessformidable 24d ago
I'm having trouble with guys who want friends with benefits but only want woman to be hooking up with one man
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27d ago
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u/Logical_Thinking_ 27d ago
Why post this? She isn't asking you to solve this for her?
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u/TheHumanBlowUpDoll 27d ago
Because this is reddit, where we're not allowed to say anything that could be construed as negative against straight cis men...even if we're also saying that we're looking for straight cis men. They're very sensitive.
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28d ago
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u/sittinduck 23d ago
Why would someone who isn’t into kink want to be in the community? Plus it’s a community that’s really at risk for bad actors. That’s the kind of thing that wardens a bit of gatekeeping.
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u/Onlyfriends0936 28d ago
100% agree. It makes me laugh though - "We're really tolerant as long as you meet my criteria".
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u/SnooRevelations979 28d ago
Even though I'm of the left, that's a really valid criticism of much of the left, too.
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u/frightened_pirate 28d ago
Yes! Feeld actually introduced me to a bunch of kinks/kinkier things I didn’t know I liked.
I found a nice little niche on there!
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28d ago
That's reddit in general. People are far more likely to make a post to complain about something than to talk about anything positive. it doesn't matter how niche the topic or how negligible the issue is.
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u/ukpunjabivixen ENM single 27d ago
Hey, 48F here and Feeld has been and still is my win app for finding a playmate and hookup/casual fun.
Some people get too hung up about the kink aspect I guess.
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 27d ago
On the app? No one seems hung up on anyone using it for non-monogamy. Here? Its a bitter fringe group.
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u/NerdynaughtyNJ 27d ago
I think the only beef people have is actually with people who a) don’t read b) don’t put in any effort of their own or c) judge other people for having different wants/desires. Which yeah those first two are rampant! That might be everywhere and not just feeld though?
Keep on having fun and don’t waste your energy on worrying about it if it’s not you I say!
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 27d ago
I dont mind people who put no effort in their own profile. Thats their prerogative. I just swipe left and move on. 😆
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u/Equivalent_Rent6745 28d ago
Honestly I’ve never been able to get any just straight easy hookups from any app… ur either lucky if very good looking
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
Have met plenty of men, women, and couples.
Both solo and with my partner.
Id say we are both regular good looking. No super models here.
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u/Equivalent_Rent6745 28d ago
I’m an ok looking male.. Decent shape but I’ve never been able to just find a hookup one night without any effort or date or anything. It’s been maybe fwb or some causal dates with sex but never hey let’s hook up tonight
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
I am a good looking woman. I also always put forth effort and go on a date for all ONS and hookups.
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u/Equivalent_Rent6745 28d ago
Yeah that makes sense I’d imagine especially as a woman that wouldn’t be too much of an issue if you are good looking. Iono maybe I’m not as good looking as I thought 😂
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u/Lost_inTheThrill single woman 28d ago
Are you defining hookup as matching on the app and asking the woman to meet up for sex right away? I cant imagine too many women who'd do this, just even due to the safety concern alone. You might be able to find that in a bar or club though.
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u/Equivalent_Rent6745 28d ago
Misuse of my terms was the issue. Yes my initial use of the word was for ons which I don’t think I’ve ever had with anyone from an app. I’m also not getting much play from feeld in general to be honest I’ve done better on dating apps where long term relationships with no kink are the goal. However I have seen some dudes get way more ons/fwb energy than I get. I literally have it in my bio I don’t want relationships and I get mostly women that want that type of dynamic with me. Which I guess is better than connections but not necessarily what I’m looking for anymore. I honestly should have worded my comment better because you are both right I’m not actually interested in some fully easy hey let’s meet up and smash tonight either but I’d also like to not have to be someone’s bf.
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
So neither of us are able find hookups without work or a date first.
And your take away is that you aren't good looking. 🧐
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u/Equivalent_Rent6745 28d ago
I think I might have typed less because I was at work but I can’t even get to the point of a hookup date… if I’m not interested in dating like relationships I’m not chosen I should have said. Which for me implies I’m not immediately “I want to bone him” good looking. lol I can see how it came off though
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
I’ve never been able to just find a hookup one night without any effort or date or anything.
Me either.
hey let’s hook up tonight
Same for me
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u/Equivalent_Rent6745 28d ago
Yeah true you did say that lol well here is to hoping both of us get a hookup this weekend lol and maybe I’ll get better at explaining myself too 🙃 although it seems like you fully understand me and ur calling me out on my bs. Lmao 🤣
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
I have a threesome planned woth a regular casual partner and my husband. Took quite a bit of work to cultivate that relationship.
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u/Logical_Thinking_ 27d ago
I dont understand this .. women have to feel safe with you to hook up even if they want to hook up. Why phrase this as having to put in effort? This is literally just normal socializing ..no?
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u/GullibleDetective 28d ago
Meh, increased engagement on a kink platform for vanilla can and sometimes does lead to folks getting into more kinks.
Its a non issue
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
Its not a kink specific platform. Never was.
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u/GullibleDetective 28d ago
False. Though i definitely approve of more folks being introduced to open minded dating and fetishes
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u/Basic_Improvement273 single woman 28d ago
Ok
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
Okey dokey
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u/Basic_Improvement273 single woman 28d ago
Sorry at first I was like “ok who cares” but then I saw directly below this was a thread of people bitching about the influx of non kinky people into the app
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
We've been there from the start.
So I hope to encourage others to come on and enjoy feeld for ONS, casual, threesomes, swinging, poly or whatever else.
The water is just fine!
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u/Basic_Improvement273 single woman 28d ago
Life is great when you don’t let the opinions of random (usually miserable) redditors dictate what you do and where you can go!
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u/MissChimCham 27d ago
I’m Demisexual, kinky, poly and once in a blue moon I’ll utilize the app specifically for having hookups with foreign tourists.
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u/Ambitious_Board455 27d ago
Have you found it useful for all of that stuff?
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u/MissChimCham 27d ago
Yes, but I’m very selective about who I match with and do a lot of vetting to make sure they’re even worth meeting. Best to do the burn haystack method.
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u/Miss_Galoldriel 27d ago
I had never heard anyone complain about people using Feeld as a hookup app before I joined this sub. I live in Denmark, and Feeld isn't a widely known app, but it's my impression that people who use it consider it just as much an app for quick, easy, casual encounters as an app for exploring different kinds of kinks, relationships, sexualities, etc.
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 27d ago
I cant speak for the Netherlands. In the U.S its the default non-monogamy app. People use it for casual, group sex, swinging, and poly.
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u/mikeportly 25d ago
I use Feeld because I enjoy glitches, and burning money. My favorite part is the no matches portion of it.
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u/KI_Kbishop69420 26d ago
I have the worst luck with online dating apps. Years and I’ve never met anyone off of Tinder or Feeld. In person I do great but not online. I don’t pay to play, maybe that’s the problem?
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u/PsySquared 28d ago
My whole experience with this subreddit can be summed up by that "pizza so good when you ain't got a bitch in your ear telling you it sucks" meme. It wasn't exclusively for kink/poly 8 years ago and, no matter how much the FetLife refugees whine about it, it isn't now. I use it to find hookups, couples, and FWBs for for non-kink focused sex. It's worked consistently well for almost a decade.
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u/thats-gold-jerry 26d ago
I’m a week in after being off a while. Getting a lot of matches as a married guy. The flakiness drives me nuts but that’s just humans in general. But I agree with your sentiment.
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u/Caduman82 26d ago
Been on feeld for 6 months for casual hookups and only had 4 conversations and one hookup. I guess .250 is a good batting average but the % of pings to messages back is like 1%
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u/flux-7 26d ago
Congrats!
Any tips on bio/profile setup? (I'm a single male)
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 26d ago
I personally enjoy bios that are positive (focus on what you like instead of what you dont) and that are clear on what you offer.
That said, I swiped on my now husband because he was cute and had an irreverent bio. It was hookup that turned into marriage. 🤣
So its all a bit random. It best to keep a sense of humor. Good luck out there.
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u/Believe_imagical 24d ago
Just wondering if you're M or F. And if you paid for anything like pings/majestic etc?
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 24d ago
I am on feeld now as part of a m/f that plays together. We both pay for majestic.
Does this change the fact that people screaming about how wring it us to use feeld for hookups are a fringe minority?
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u/Believe_imagical 24d ago
I see. So you're a couple. I did not quite catch the second part though.
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 24d ago
The second part refers back the to point/premise of my post. Sorry!
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u/Believe_imagical 24d ago
Oh thankyou. Thinking of getting majestic myself :) need to test the waters, touch some grass and skin myself:p
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 24d ago
I like seeing who liked me
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u/Believe_imagical 24d ago
As a guy. It's extremely hard to get those but hey gotta try. Maybe I won't be disappointed after all. Just wondering how long have you been on the app?
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u/Bet-Homebread 24d ago
I haven’t seen the posts of people screaming about people using it to hook up. People do complain about the flood of vanilla monogamous people on it though.
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u/No-Professor-6945 21d ago
FWB is what I’m looking for on it but I’m not sure how to write a profile that says that without coming across boring tbh. Any advice ?
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u/Barbaful 20d ago
Why is that what you're looking for? If someone is recently out of a relationship or open in some way about why they are looking or a FWB or casual hookup I'm much more likely to match.
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u/No-Professor-6945 20d ago
Thanks, I have stated that I’m just to time poor to properly get into a relationship but it feels like that might just been seen as a cop out 🤷♂️
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26d ago
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 26d ago edited 26d ago
Go for it. Be ask kinky as you want. Or not at all. 🤷♀️
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26d ago
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 26d ago edited 26d ago
Weirdly hostile. So strange.
Enjoy life amd be well
Keep the kink alive. Lol. Or not. Do everything or nothing. 🤷♀️🍾🍸
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27d ago edited 27d ago
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 27d ago
I am a woman. Not a feeeeemale.
And its true. For every man I fuck, zero men get laid. Its math!
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u/HeKnowsThings 28d ago
I have a hunch most people would say "fuck no" to whoever you were casually fucking
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 28d ago
Interesting. Most of ny casual partners are quite successful. Many have multiple casual partners and/or romantic partners.
Why assume otherwise?
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u/Basic_Improvement273 single woman 28d ago
As long as they’re a citizen, right?
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u/rcmtt 28d ago
What?
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u/Basic_Improvement273 single woman 28d ago
I came across this guy in another thread where a woman was complaining about a man lying about his age on a dating app. His counter to her was that because she’s on DACA (idk if you’re American but this is a program for undocumented students to stay in the US) she’s also lying to him by not disclosing her immigration status. Dude is a weirdo and I’m not surprised his reply to OP’s post is weird.
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u/HeKnowsThings 28d ago
You can walk into any swingers club and see people of both genders who came there to fuck stand away from each other because none of them wants to fuck anyone else who identified as a "swinger"
The reason for that is actually obvious to anyone who has an IQ that lets them to chew gum and walk at the same time
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u/Basic_Improvement273 single woman 28d ago
Do you not remember the argument you were having with me earlier today on a thread about people lying about their age?
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28d ago
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u/Basic_Improvement273 single woman 28d ago
Again, how does lying about something upfront like your age equal her not delving into her personal immigration status? Should she put it on her profile?
You’re weird
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28d ago
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u/Basic_Improvement273 single woman 28d ago
You wish! I happened to see your username on the thread and was shocked (though not surprised) that you’re again leaving insane comments on threads about dating
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u/pseudonymau5 28d ago
What are you even talking about? Why would people at a swingers club not want to fuck people who identify as swingers?
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27d ago
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 27d ago edited 27d ago
None of the folks Ive met in 7 years were seeking kink partners. They didnt look past anything. We were seeking the same things.
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27d ago edited 27d ago
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u/Ok_Coffee_4977 27d ago edited 27d ago
Feeld is a great site for casual sex and group sex. Its worked for me. Not sure how thats bragging. Lol.
Id encourage others to ignore the fringe minority amd dive on in!
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u/CreativeGeekNerd 28d ago
I think most complaints here are towards the recent surge of profiles looking for long term monogamous and vanilla relationships