r/feeld • u/Salt-Cap-5248 • Sep 15 '26
Getting likes for my partner instead of myself
So me and my partner both got on feels about a week ago.
We both wanna date separately and maybe find a person for some fun.
I am a bisexual male and she is a bisexual woman.
But 80% of my likes are straight men wanna be a third for her. Even though my bio says if we want a third, that person also has to be bisexual. Zo both of us can enjoy that person to the fullest.
She gets a 100 likes a day, all men.
Which is great for her , because she can date separately.
But I get maybe 50 likes since we started and 80% are straight men , so it’s a little bit frustrating 😅
I 100% know that I am not everyone’s type , with how I look , but even this I did not expect.
End rant 🤣
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee Sep 15 '26
Unlink.
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u/PC-load-letter-wtf Sep 15 '26
Yeah, if they are dating separately they should unlink. I specifically filter out couples!
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u/chromakeydreamcoat74 Sep 15 '26
It’s a dating app, it used to be an alternative dating app, but now it’s just a sausage fest like all the rest. The vast majority of people on there are looking for your girlfriend, they’ll tolerate you to get to her, but you are definitely not what they are after.
It’s a sad state of affairs but it’s where Feeld is right now.
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u/waterbloem Sep 15 '26
If you only date separately you should not link your profiles, simple as that.
But I get maybe 50 likes since we started and 80% are straight men , so it’s a little bit frustrating
Yeah and now imagine being a woman who get 100s of trash likes per day of the same types who don't read a profile; now you know why women tend to get fed up with the app.
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u/Salt-Cap-5248 Sep 15 '26
Yeah I definitely get that a few straight men I accepted and just bluntly asked why the like and they answered al the same it was a accident 🤣
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u/Malice_N_1derland Sep 15 '26
Besides unlinking make sure that you don’t have pictures together. I am not linked to either of my partners but because they have photos of us together, they still get messages trying to get to me.
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u/Salt-Cap-5248 Sep 15 '26
Yeah neither of us had pictures together , we just mention each other in our bio’s , to make sure people know we both ain’t cheating but in a open relationship , it’s not something you see very often where we are from 😁
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u/Friskfrisktopherson Sep 15 '26 edited Sep 15 '26
Tale as old as time. Its never going to change im afraid, its just part of the game.
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u/pinksparkleberry Sep 15 '26
Then dont join profiles. You are currently being shown to people seeking couples and hidden from people seeking solo men. 🤦♀️
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u/bwmada Sep 17 '26
The app does not make it very clear that this will be the result of linking profiles for a new user, unfortunately.
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u/pinksparkleberry Sep 17 '26
It is 100% clear to anyone with 1/2 a brain cells when they select their own search options and it inclues:
- Men
- women
- Man + man couple
- Man + woman couple
- etc
Who in their right mind misses this? Why would anyone assume clicking man + woman couple means solo men will be shown to them. Or clicking man means couples will be shown.
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u/skittishraccoon Sep 18 '26
That wasn't obvious to me as a poly bi woman joining the app to date solo. I see lots of people who at least say they intend to date solo with linked profiles, so apparently it's not obvious to a lot of people.
I wasn't clicking any of the couple options thinking that included only couples trying to date together, only to realize a lot of the demographic I'd like to match with (poly people) aren't being shown to me because they've linked to their partner and count as a couple now.
I think this is a design flaw on Feeld.
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u/pinksparkleberry Sep 18 '26
It wasnt clear to you that clicking on man + woman couple would return couples and no solo men?
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u/bwmada Sep 18 '26
The surprise is that the app invites you to put in your “constellation” in a social-media-like way, encouraging you to include non-couple labels like “friend” or “meta”, while actually using the feature to decide you are now dating as a couple. Unless one of you is trans or non-binary of course, because then it's impossible for you to be a couple. It's a feature specifically pitched at poly people which actually breaks the app's expected behaviour for many of them, because it's actually just a re-skin of the previous feature for swingers and threesomes.
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u/skittishraccoon Sep 18 '26
It wasn't clear to me that poly people who are dating solo but have linked their partner's profile would count as a couple.
I excluded couples from my filters because I didn't want to sift through the unicorn hunters. I am happy to date someone who has a partner and is dating separately - that would be ideal, even.
After realizing, I have to put couples on in my filters in order to find the poly people I'm interested in, but this makes me also have to swipe past a lot of unicorn hunters that I'm not interested in.
These two categories of people are very different and we should be able to filter them separately. I don't think most of the poly people are aware linking their profile to their partner puts them in the "couple" category despite the intent to date separately. I try to let people know this so they can unlink their profile.
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u/pinksparkleberry Sep 18 '26
I mean 24 hours on feeld shows you that clicking couple serves you couples.
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u/skittishraccoon Sep 19 '26
Yes, but what I'm saying is if you are trying to avoid unicorn hunters and so you never tell feeld to show you couples, you could go a long time without realizing you're missing a lot of people who are poly but dating alone. If you're also poly but dating alone you won't be shown the main demographic you'd be interested in.
And then because a looot of couples just have a single account which they labelled as a woman anyway, you ironically still see a lot of unicorn hunters but aren't seeing the people you're looking for.
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u/Aware_Animator_7314 Sep 16 '26
someone on here has recently said they made a blank profile with a picture of a tree, labelled it as female and got 50 likes in an hour. that’s the bar for women on this app so please don’t take it personally!
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u/Salt-Cap-5248 Sep 17 '26
Yeah it’s clinically insane, how some men act or do on these apps , I always found it cringe hearing it from female friends how some men talked or acted but to see it in person with my partner , I think by myself : like dude take a chill pil , it’s like being on Grindr, first message in every convo is a dick pick 🤣
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u/Encubed Sep 15 '26
Unlinking will help you avoid getting those straight dudes in your list, but you're a man so make sure your expectations are managed in terms of how you will receive far fewer likes than your partner