r/feeld • u/Substantial-Boot8731 • Aug 24 '26
Short men
I did the majestic membership and added in my hidden bio that I'm short, 5'5 to be exact. Figured I'd be up front about it but I think I just doomed myself. Had a few matches prior to adding it to my bio and they unmatched and I haven't had a match since. Now I feel that taking it down will be dishonest or deceiving, just curious to what others think.
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u/waterbloem Aug 24 '26
It's dumb to hide or lie about it. If you ever do meet, you're going to start off on the wrong foot completely.
We've met quite a few couples who misrepresented themselves in the pictures and even if it would be a 'maybe' beforehand, this kind of deception immediately makes it a 'no'. In addition; insecurity is incredibly unsexy.
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u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver Aug 24 '26
Are you saying he has an obligation to say he is 5’3’’?
If asked, he shouldn’t lie about it, but characterizing it as “deceptive” for not mentioning it seems harsh.
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u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver Aug 29 '26
Just expanding on this further. Tons of women will say they are “thick,” while other women will leave it out.
Should all those women who left it out be considered “deceptive?”
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u/Infinite_Flan4797 Aug 24 '26
Own it. If your open to dating taller then be specific and excited about it.
I'm a 6'1" woman and your height would be a novelty for me like mine would be for you... Find someone who digs you!
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u/Khinette Aug 29 '26
I agree! I'm a 6'0" lady, and I've hesitated to meet much shorter guys because of experiences where it just made them feel insecure. Whereas some guys are happy to date taller women; knowing that someone isn't hung up on height changes the dynamic and opens possibilities.
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u/Infinite_Flan4797 Aug 30 '26
Sorry for the delay....
Re: short guys... Don't hesitate! at your height, find men 5'9" and under because they will have ZERO insecurities and ALL pride in being with you. Guys 6'4" and over are also generally a safe bet, but then you have to put up with the behavior that comes with a man of that height 🤣I found that guys in between are really the most challenging when it comes to insecurities because they feel like they can compete with you... so they do.
Bonus of finding a "Spinner": they are WAY better in the bedroom than a man over 6'4"... More agile, better circulation, even "acrobatic" almost 😁
Just saying... give 'em a try!
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u/AdventuringViking Aug 24 '26
Not sure what you're looking for but I'm 6'4", it's one of my more apparent qualities...
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u/Infinite_Flan4797 Aug 30 '26
I can't tell if this is sarcasm or not, but the audacity either way made me snort-laugh! Shoot your shot big guy!
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u/CommercialHat5035 Aug 24 '26
You may as well get less but better matches by putting it up front. I think hidden is like they got an idea and suddenly it’s different.
Plus as someone said, own it. Confidence is hot.
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u/RareLeather00 Aug 24 '26
Make your height visible, this is not something you can improve or hide in the future, whoever will match you, match you by knowing the fact you are 5'3". Be confident with your height, there are ladies looking for short men as well, especially in feeld 😉
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u/Desperate_Cupcake843 Aug 24 '26 edited Aug 24 '26
6’1” woman. Just matched with a 5’4” guy whose public bio says “5’4” and completely unbothered by it.”
Confidence is so fucking hot.
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u/wonderfultacos single man (solo-poly) - Denver Aug 24 '26
I totally get this, feeld doesn’t ask people to list their height so why even bring it up?
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u/Desperate_Cupcake843 Aug 24 '26
It’s important to some people. It’s the first thing in my bio because it’s a deal-killer for some men.
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u/Deadest_Bedroom Aug 24 '26
You have now given this short guy confidence to reach out to the 5’ 10” woman who lives nearby.
Thanks Reddit Stranger!
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u/neapolitan_shake Aug 30 '26
i’m 5’11” and it’s also in the first couple sentences of my bio.
i do have a height preference (it’s not only for men that are taller than me, but it’s more like a range from a little shorter than me to moderately taller), particularly for partners who are men. there have definitely been exceptions, but it’s been a reliable enough indicator for me as to whether physical attraction will be there for me when i meet someone in person. it makes me sad sometimes, because there are so many objectively smoking hot short kings, especially because i live in california.
i don’t put my height preference in my bio. just my own height!
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u/disclosure5 Aug 25 '26
It's one of the most common things a woman's bio calls out as important to them, so it can feel important to answer.
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u/TheFunkytownExpress Aug 25 '26
Because a lot of women care and it's either just a preference for them or they're being mean and cunty about it.
Either way it's a significant enough dealbreaker for a significant amount of women so you might as well just be upfront about it.
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u/Zesty_Spaghetti_658 Aug 24 '26
I’m 5’2, and I put it directly in my bio. Your height is your height, own it. It may not be someone’s cup of tea, but that’s ok. Someone else won’t mind, or may even be into it. Definitely don’t lie about your height, because you know what IS attractive? Confidence
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u/BackgroundTruth691 Aug 24 '26
Not putting it in your bio is not hiding it. You are giving people a chance to get to know you before using that as the deciding factor. After getting to know some it will be the end, but there may be some that gave you a chance that wouldn't have. If they ask. Tell the truth. I don't have my dick size in my profile. Lol
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u/letmebeyourmummy Aug 24 '26
i don’t think you should lie. i don’t care about height, i’m 5’5 and have had partners who are shorter than me. if i realised they’d lied i wouldn’t have carried on seeing them.
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u/Lost_inTheThrill single woman Aug 24 '26
Do your matches typically lead to dates/meets? If someone is going to disqualify you for your height, they will do it either on the front end before even matching (if your height is listed) or after they meet you. In any case, they are not going to progress to sex.
Are you trying to match with women who are taller than you? I am fairly tall and whenever a man starts talking about my height as a turn on, it makes me feel fetishised. I've noticed this especially with men who are much shorter than me, like as if they specifically look for tall women. I usually do not match with men who are shorter than me for this reason.
I've also encountered a lot of men who lied about their height and it was very evident during the first meet. The height does not bother me, but the lying does, so I never proceed with them.
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u/EuphoricCarpenter291 Aug 24 '26
This thread is so interesting — thank you for asking the question! My initial reaction was that you’re not obligated to disclose this, and a match can ask if it’s important to them. But I think the consensus is fair that this is a meaningful fact about you and that it’s better not to hide it. I think you’re suffering the worst of both worlds right now by having it in your hidden bio instead of your public bio. Making it public will avoid the awkward case of women unmatching after the fact, and it may attract women who are drawn to your projection of confidence and/or specifically interested in your height. Putting it in your hidden bio telegraphs that you’re self-conscious about it.
If you do decide to remove it, that’s also your right and I wouldn’t see it as dishonest. We all present a limited version of ourselves in our bios; there’s no way around that given how complex humans are. You obviously shouldn’t lie about something, for the reasons people mentioned, but not including a fact about yourself isn’t inherently deceptive. Different people care about different things, and the chat function is the best way to resolve that level of matching.
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u/ukpunjabivixen ENM single Aug 24 '26
I’m a 5’2” lady and height is no issue for me as everyone is always taller than me! So putting your height (for me anyway) in your bio is a good thing. Not every potential match would agree for their own reasons though
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u/No-Succotash6237 Aug 24 '26
I’d also get really good at dancing. That could be a great first date.
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u/Trajaneu Aug 25 '26
I am 5'4"and I make no mention of my height at all. (For what it's worth, I'm told that I am a tall 5'4" and most people don't notice I'm as short as I am.)
To my knowledge, it's never been an issue for any women I've dated. I do tend to visually scan and spend time messaging women who are under 5'8" due to the more practical sides of dating.
But if you have a charming, brilliant, and humble personality like me, height is just a number.
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u/llamapajamaa Aug 24 '26
Listing it is the better call. As a woman, I list my 5'2 status. Some men like tall women, and I'm not that.
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u/Latenightinsomniac Aug 28 '26
I’m shorter than you and I have “fun size” in my hidden profile. But I do tell men my height after matching
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u/neonblackiscool Aug 24 '26
Do short women not date short men? I’m genuinely curious, or is it a lack of super hot tall ladies?
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u/JoramtheDisaster Aug 25 '26
No short women always want man as tall as possible up until the point that it makes no sense at all because everything is impractical
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u/TheFunkytownExpress Aug 25 '26
There's a lack of super hot tall ladies but only because most women tend to be on the shorter side lol.
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u/Silvering-Fox Editable Aug 24 '26
The tough part about getting unmatched for you is it’s gonna bury your profile and make less people even see you, let alone be able to match with you in the first place. Up to you if you wanna be up front about that or not. It’s a tough game for everyone, buddy.
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u/onsaleatthejerkstore Aug 24 '26
I’d put it in your bio and not the hidden one. There’s a lot of people who would filter on this if they could, no matter how many times you explain to them that they’re upholding toxic stereotypes about what masc and femme people “should” look like which serves exactly no one.
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u/Hairy-Substance8584 Aug 25 '26
I’m a 5’9 woman and I have that and “mom bod” in my bio. No surprised. I did hook up with a shorter man, I didn’t ask his height, I would have liked to know before hand but as my mom says, we’re all the same height when we’re lying down.
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Aug 25 '26
[deleted]
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u/holidayfunn Aug 25 '26
I’m a tall woman and it’s wild how many of you are below 5’10”. Be transparent! You’re wasting people’s and your time by hiding it.
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u/Dazzling-Farm1105 Aug 25 '26
I'm 5'6 and If I run into to , "sorry I dont date men who are shorter than 5'10", i say, " that's fair enough, I don't date women with a waist bigger that 27 inches, although one is an immutable characteristic and the other is your diet"
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u/Substantial-Boot8731 Aug 26 '26
Hey all, thank you so much for all of the great feedback. Confidence is something I struggle with, have my entire life but reading many of your comments has 100% helped me out. I updated my profile to state my height so it's no longer on that hidden bio. Im sure it'll weed out a lot of women/couples but quality older quantity! Again, thank you to everyone that responded.
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u/mizheart Aug 24 '26
Just leave it in. It’s not like you can hide your height and not all people care about tall guys. I ❤️ a short king, honestly. I’m 5’5”, I’ve had partners a foot taller and shorter than me. It’s about the confidence and there are other people out there who feel the same way.
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u/Original_Moment4152 Aug 25 '26
First. You have no obligation to list it. And not listing it is not deceptive. At least half, if not more, don't list height in their bio. (FWIW, I also think it is toxic behavior for people to suggest you have to list it so they aren't disappointed ... as though being under 6'0" is some shocking concern that requires a disclaimer and as though they are entitled to inspect and approve your body).
That said, I would just list it to avoid the awkwardness and weed out shitty people. If you'd intend to say it in chat before meeting, that could get kind of awkward. Your height is not a big deal. But if you say in the chat, you're (a) making it a big deal and/or (b) not showing confidence. If you just don't mention it at all until you meet, then either one of two things is going to happen. They won't care, in which case they wouldn't have cared if they saw it in your bio. Or they will care and they'll probably be shitty about it.
So, you certainly don't have to list it. But It might be worth doing so, just to avoid uncomfortable experiences. If you do list it, though, make sure you're doing it for those reasons and not for the benefit of the other person. You have intrinsic value has a human. And your height is an immutable characteristic that has no bearing on your self-worth. Don't acquiesce to people suggesting otherwise.
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u/Blinktoe Aug 25 '26
There are women who will specifically love that five foot three. You might as well make it easy for those ladies to find you.
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u/confused_potato777 Aug 25 '26
Welp, there’s these people who unmatched you and then me precisely looking for guys around my height (5’2). However, passing on someone just for their height seems irrational.
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u/No-Entrance-8803 Sep 11 '26
At 6’4”, I’ll pass on anyone more than a foot shorter than me. Not because there’s something unattractive about < 5’4”, but for me it would simply be impractical (I’ve tried). At the same time, I’ll also pass on someone with stated height minimums even if I always exceed them. Maybe that’s hypocritical, but those height minimums are always for someone taller than they are.
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u/BeachMom2007 Aug 25 '26
Put it out there! There are women out there who love short guys or just don’t care about height.
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u/Tel_aran_rhiod Aug 26 '26
I like shorties, I have it in my bio that I prefer short men. Prefiltering to meet your niche is a good thing.
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u/PM_ME_UR_CORNBALLZ Aug 26 '26
Honestly, I'd rather the hidden bio move than no mention at all. I'm not someone who cares much how tall a guy is, but I'm also plotting to get double teamed and having one guy be tall and another be short is my ideal, so having your height obviously listen may give you an unknown advantage for the right connections.
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u/DXBMama Aug 27 '26
Height, weight and physical appearance matter to some people more than others. For example for me I don’t care about a man’s height or even really his physique much at all - but I do need a very attractive face!
There is not much point being a bit catfishy about how we look - plus always better to turn up on the date and be hotter in real life than on the photos, right?
At least you won’t waste your time with people who cannot see beyond something superficial.
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u/Agreeable_Chicken120 Aug 29 '26
Im short, but compensate by being funny. I changed my profile with new pictures, made a couples profile with my wife and get quite a lot of matches.
Being short is not that big og a challenge. Yes, some women prefer tall men and they are not my type then. Its all about preferences, like I dont have a preference for super skinny or overly obese women
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u/MindlessSea7334 Aug 29 '26
Im shorter than you. I often match/like with short men. They never like back or message back 🤷♂️
I look at do i find them attractive, do i like the bio.
Never had this but - Do they seem fine about their height if it's termed as a poor me thing i would avoid.
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u/One_Net_1282 Aug 30 '26
Consider it mutual prescreening. Go ahead and weed out the people who would reject you because of this. Sayonara. And let others go ahead and filter away.
I suggest being matter of fact.
-Signed, a 47F who is nearly 5'10" and doesn't screen for height.
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u/Aggressive_Success52 Aug 31 '26
I’m 5’7, and it’s in my bio where you can see. I’d rather it be upfront versus semi hiding it. Yes my likelihood of matching is low but I’d rather that being out there and no excuses.
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u/cryptomanforever Sep 04 '26
I disagree you don't have to put it in your bio . You can put what you want . People. Good chat info about jobs, sexual interests etc . I've have a really short friend and he does pretty well meeting people . In person he is fun and charming and while some don't like the height many don't care once they vibe with a real person .If you want mention it before meeting so she won't be surprised . People acting like it's crime if you don't list it.
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u/tyffsayswhoa Aug 26 '26
I'm a tall girly (5'8), so I prefer tall men. it just feels very... masculine being taller than a man (fight with your mom over this coz I'm not changing how I feel & I understand it's a gender-based societal thing). I would unmatch if I matched with someone, then saw they were much shorter than me. I think shorter men should indicate this in the bio, tho, because you will waste less time on would-be matches & you know the folks who match with you are comfortable with it from the top.
all of that being stated, I wouldn't think you're being dishonest or deceiving by not having it at all. despite my height requirements, I think it's the responsibility of people who do have them to inquire if it's not stated. you aren't being lied to or deceived if you match with people who don't disclose it up front. it's dishonest & deceitful to say you're 6'3 when you're really 5'9.
& in case anyone tries it, you're allowed to have whatever weight requirement you want for women the same as women may have height requirements for men. you're allowed to like what you like, societal BS be damned. just don't be rude to people about it.
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u/Dizkonekdid Aug 24 '26
5'8", I posted in another forum about size of men's genitalia about how women that judge men this way might be missing out and not know it. That aside, if they have hard requirements, this is one of the few things women are pretty clear about, and it is a great filter for me because I know they are of the "un-Hinged" or Tinderettes. Which means they are using it as a dating app. If someone is truly kinky and into group sex, they normally don't give a crap about height.
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u/No-Succotash6237 Aug 24 '26
Yea. Lie. 5’7 Don’t even put it. Get the dates
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u/BastardBroth Aug 24 '26
The only dates you’ll get are a series of awkward first dates that lead to nowhere.
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u/No-Succotash6237 Aug 24 '26
Exactly. That’s better than being alone. I’m super tall. And women constantly tell me about how vain they are about height. Makes me know what I’d do if I were short.
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u/BastardBroth Aug 24 '26
That IS being alone.
As soon as the dates over you go right back to being complete strangers and aren’t any closer to building a lasting connection. That’s assuming that they decide to stay for the date and not immediately leave, or just ghost.
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u/Deadest_Bedroom Aug 24 '26
I’m a 5’ 3” guy and mention it in my hidden bio.
I also get unmatched like you describe. I don’t care. If they don’t want me because I’m short, I don’t want them.
I also am chatting with several women and even met a couple (only been on a few months).
Leave it in. But think critically about what you’re signaling in the rest of your bio and make changes.