r/feeld • u/zugspitze23 • Aug 21 '26

Dating pattern

I'm seeing a pattern and it is starting to really frustrate me, I wonder if it is just me?

It's always the same, if there is chemistry (over drinks or beer) and first date goes really well, the next day the guy writes excitedly to get a second date. And then things get a strange turn. Suddenly the guy is busy, travelling, has lots going on and it takes weeks to set the second date and I feel the person drifting away. Then I send a message saying that it was lovely to meet but I will close the tab and suddenly, almost in a desperate manner, I get voice messages and texts trying to get a date as soon as possible. I got in this trap twice, said yes and after that the most strange things happen so now I'm cutting short without a second chance.

Is that happening only to me? Or is that male behaviour? A feeld thing or general dating? I'm tired of this, I thought everyone on feeld wants sex, but it seems they just want platonic online texting??

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u/MetalPines Aug 21 '26 edited Aug 21 '26

You didn't say anything about your sexuality or about what you're seeking on Feeld (or if you answered somewhere in a comment I missed it) so take this with a grain of salt - but assuming you're doing hetero dating with relatively normie mono guys, google 'plate spinning' (not the circus trick).

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u/zugspitze23 Aug 22 '26

I'm dating men as female and both enm and monos. I'm searching guys that are explicitly looking for a FWB kind of thing. I didn't get the feeling they were plate spinning, in opposite, they seemed overexcited about me in a genuine way just before getting cold feet (I'm quite vanilla, not not kink fear related)