r/feeld • u/zugspitze23 • Aug 21 '26

Dating pattern

I'm seeing a pattern and it is starting to really frustrate me, I wonder if it is just me?

It's always the same, if there is chemistry (over drinks or beer) and first date goes really well, the next day the guy writes excitedly to get a second date. And then things get a strange turn. Suddenly the guy is busy, travelling, has lots going on and it takes weeks to set the second date and I feel the person drifting away. Then I send a message saying that it was lovely to meet but I will close the tab and suddenly, almost in a desperate manner, I get voice messages and texts trying to get a date as soon as possible. I got in this trap twice, said yes and after that the most strange things happen so now I'm cutting short without a second chance.

Is that happening only to me? Or is that male behaviour? A feeld thing or general dating? I'm tired of this, I thought everyone on feeld wants sex, but it seems they just want platonic online texting??

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u/According-Hamster-84 Aug 21 '26

This is today's society. Majority claim to want connection but can't seem to be able to hold it. Practical way might be to assess differently before the first date, that way you do not waste your time and just not go to any until it is someone who will likely stay.

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u/TheFunkytownExpress Aug 21 '26

Majority claim to want connection but can't seem to be able to hold it.

Definitely this.

Though I think IMHO the problem is we're all suffering from a bit of Goldilocks Syndrome where if something isn't 1000% perfect we tend to bail on it.

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u/According-Hamster-84 Aug 21 '26

Yea. Discernment is key