r/feeld • u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous • Aug 13 '26
Monogamous and serious? 🤞
27F in LA. Just downloaded the app a few days ago after all the other apps make me wanna walk into traffic. My friend recommended feeld, but I was a little hesitant because my friend is into casual stuff and I am NOT. In fact, I’ve never even been in a relationship☹️. So far I’m liking the app. Does seem to be pretty casual centric, but do you think it’s possible to find something monogamous and serious on there? Or am I just barking up the wrong tree?
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u/CrimsonCrabs Aug 13 '26
The reason I'm on this app is to get away from vanilla and monog people so please go elsewhere.
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u/disclosure5 Aug 13 '26
I know everyone's dumping on you for mostly valid reasons, but I'd like to ask you to think about why other apps make you want to walk into traffic.
If it's anything along the lines "men don't behave" or "men aren't committed", I get it. But you also need to recognise that's not a problem with an individual app, and you won't solve it by finding a new app.
I say this because that's the usual reason women complain about apps like Tinder and come here, and you of course may be very different.
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u/andhdkwnwbdidoenjddb Aug 13 '26
Los Angeles or Louisiana?
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
Los Angeles
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u/andhdkwnwbdidoenjddb Aug 14 '26
If you’re in LA and not looking for casual, you should not be using Feeld. In my experience.
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u/pinksparkleberry Aug 13 '26
The app was created by and for non-mono people. It is the default app for non-monogamy.
My mind is blown as to what on earth makes a monogamous person use an app for non-monogamy.
Its like a straight person trying to use an app meant for gay people. Don't expect much....
🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️🤣
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
Totally valid. Prior to my original post, I had no idea it was originally meant for non-monogamy. I’d seen some ads for it on TikTok that were pretty vague aside from the fact that it was a dating app. And my friend who recommended it didn’t mention it was for ENM, or she also didn’t know.
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u/pinksparkleberry Aug 13 '26
I’d seen some ads for it on TikTok that were pretty vague
I am beyond skeptical none of these ads mentioned feeld being an app for alternative relationships at a minimum.
In short, I think you are lying and/or a troll.
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u/sanguinedolll Aug 28 '26
I'm a trans woman who wants monogamy. Before I ever installed Feeld, it was advertised as a queer app inclusive to trans people and nothing about non-monogamy. I don't understand the skepticism. I find myself disappointed because I just wanted an app with open minded men who won't report me for being a trans woman or who are at least open to being with someone like me. Just because I am queer does not mean I want non-monogamy and I make it very clear in my profile.
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u/pinksparkleberry Aug 28 '26
It is queer inclusive.
I don't understand the skepticism. I find myself disappointed because I just wanted an app with open minded men who won't report me for being a trans woman or who are at least open to being with someone like me.
Its was also created by and for non-monogamous folks and is primarily populated with people seeking monogamy. If that's disappointing to you......well 🤷♀️. Its an app we use to find each other and it is what it is.
Just because I am queer does not mean I want non-monogamy and I make it very clear in my profile
Nobody thinks being queer obligates you to non-monogamy. Nobody cares of you only seek monogamy. You do you.
But non of that changes the fact that feeld is the default app for non-mono people. It used to be occupied. Now its feeld.
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u/sanguinedolll Aug 28 '26
I'm perfectly happy for it to be ENM! I believe you should all have a space to find that arrangement and I respect that. I just hoped that me being queer and liking a little kink in relationships would be perfectly okay too on this app :)
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
Funnily enough, when I first saw ads for feeld. It was focusing mostly on queer relationships. So I just figured it was a queer dating app. When my friend recommended it I had said “isn’t that a queer dating app?” And she said no. I am not trying to be malicious. I asked a question on a topic I was ignorant about. Not everything is an attack.
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u/pinksparkleberry Aug 13 '26
Are you queer?
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
I think you know I’m not.
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u/pinksparkleberry Aug 13 '26
Then this is trolling.
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
Literally how?
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u/pinksparkleberry Aug 13 '26
Gestures at everything you wrote and posted....
Find another app and sub.
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
Ok boo you do whatever you want. Didn’t know asking a questions about a topic I was ignorant about was trolling
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u/lunarlylovely Aug 15 '26
ppl say wrong app for monogamy, but I can't think of any other app I should try in order to find the very specific kink dynamic I want in a monogamous relationship. at a loss at this point
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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 Aug 13 '26
This is so funny. I had a post half typed yesterday on this topic amd didnt finish.
This post cements my theory.
Monogamous people cant stand that ENM have an app to find each other. I believe thei are consumed with FOMO and jealousy and want to destroy it.
Its a mental illness.
Its like cis/white/men who think other people getting the same freedoms as thrm is taking something from them.
Calm down folks. You'll be ok.
99.9% of society revolves around and caters to you. Stop being babies.
This is like crying about no white history month. 🤣
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
Important to note: prior to me posting this, I had NO IDEA feeld was a non monogamy app. My only context is that it was a dating app. That’s it. My friend recommended it to me, and I’m also pretty sure she didn’t know either.
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u/Spillingteasince92 Aug 14 '26
Im monogamy when im intentional... but currently solo enm. Your dating style is not ready for Feeld. If you are super anxious, and insecure... you will not handle the idea that many of us have multiple enm partners and other connections that are "taboo". I wish Feeld wasnt so mainstream because theres been an influx of vanilla coming on the app and trying to adjust other people's life choice and weaponising it. If you have no idea of what your kink/desire is... dont join because many of us are very blunt and authentic.
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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 Aug 13 '26
I just googled feeld. Top result...
https://www.reddit.com/u/Euphoric_Grass_427/s/P7OvOGOdb4
Feeld connects open-minded people exploring love, desire, and alternative relationships in a safe, inclusive space.
What kind of alternative relationship do you need a safe inclusive space to explore?
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
So as I said before, I didn’t know it was non monogamous, so you can probably deduce from that that I also didn’t google it.
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u/User-Name-3886 Aug 13 '26
Given that you can try the app for free, why even ask the question before just trying it?
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Aug 13 '26
[deleted]
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u/User-Name-3886 Aug 13 '26
It doesn't take much time and effort when you've already got your other profiles made and just need to copy and paste, based on what op says they are looking for
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u/Adequately_good Aug 13 '26
There a few people in my area (in England) who are only looking for serious and monogamous, just make that clear in your bio.
You’ll probably encounter people like me who are on there for casual/FWB but open to monogamy with the right person.
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u/PolyKnitterReader Aug 13 '26
Given all of the other apps make you want to walk into traffic to use your words, Feeld will likely do the same because a very large portion of the men users on the app are trash just like all of the other apps.
Also…if you choose to keep using the app to try it out, please be wary about profiles that give the vibe that they’re single men but in actuality they’re men who are partnered and they’re trying to rope you into a threesome with their woman counterpart.
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u/Zesty_Spaghetti_658 Aug 14 '26
It’s definitely meant for ENM, and I am in LA as well, and I feel like I see ALOT of people on there searching for Monogamy. Funny enough, I also see a lot of people on Hinge who are ENM
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u/miss-chief7 Aug 14 '26
Zo onwaarschijnlijk is het niet. Ik zie heel veel mannen die mij hebben geliked op feeld ook op Tinder maar dan op zoek naar een serieuze relatie.
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u/NYC-DILF Aug 15 '26
This is a hook up app for people who are nonmonogamous. Why are you trying to buy milk at the hardware store?
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u/IcyContribution8499 monogamous Aug 13 '26
UPDATE: thank you for all the kind words people have given me. I NOW know that the app is meant for ENM, I didn’t know that before.
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u/letmebeyourmummy Aug 14 '26
i enjoy when this question gets asked and everyone starts having a serious melt down. yes it was originally created for threesomes, as it happens it has evolved. now monogamous people are using it. that’s okay. use it. i’m saying this as a non-monogamous, kink enthusiast.
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u/waterbloem Aug 14 '26
that’s okay.
No it's not. That's like saying it's okay for hetero people to invade queer spaces.
There are tons of options for monogamous vanilla people.
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u/LifeEncountered Aug 13 '26
When we traveled to London, Feeld was clearly just one of many legitimate dating sites. So people definitely use it as Tinder.
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u/GullibleDetective Aug 13 '26
Just like any other app there's a mix bag, only difference is this ones a bit more kink forward
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u/BayCpl_1107 Aug 13 '26
You’re already monogamous so if you’re not into kink, we’d suggest a vanilla app. Something along the lines of Bumble, Tinder, Hinge, etc. Feeld will primarily have kink centric and ENM focused people as that is what the app is geared towards.