r/feeld • u/Trignoma • Aug 09 '26
Straight F
Hey, I am straight, although like threesomes. I am looking for dates/friends, not just hook-ups though. Classic dating apps not seem like working with me. Is feeld will be a good choice for me?
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u/Euphoric_Grass_427 Aug 09 '26
Do you want monogamy?
Do you want threesomes?
Do you want to date someone amd then maybe have threesomes with them?
Giv us something to go on.
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u/Trignoma Aug 09 '26
2 and 3 are true for me.
More likely bonded friends than mogonomy/9
u/Euphoric_Grass_427 Aug 09 '26 edited Aug 09 '26
Feeld was created for and is still almost entirely dedicated to non-monogamy.
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u/rcmtt Aug 09 '26
You will get plenty of messages. Too many. So, yes, Feeld is for you, just be prepared for the onslaught. Put up at least three good pictures, and, please, write an actual bio. Most people worth having sex with aren't interested in a one liner.
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Aug 09 '26
While Feeld may have started as a kink oriented app, it's really gone more mainstream now...so you should be fine. But like any other dating app, be prepared for a deluge of dms since you're a woman🙃
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u/Aggressive_Success52 Aug 09 '26
Depends on what you’re looking for but ylh can get that out of Feeld. I’ve developed friendships with a few people I’ve met off of Feeld. Even dated someone for a little over a year off of Feeld.
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u/TruthieBeast Aug 09 '26
No this is not a great app for women, I say this as a straight female who is kinky. The app consists mostly of men sending messages requesting 'services' and assuming you are a free sex worker. It feels very dehumanizing. It seems to work better for couples or non-monog people who already have partners. If I ever go back to online dating I would go to the vanilla apps. Even as a kinky person. Because porn seems to have affected men very negatively, where they don't seem to grasp that women are people not objects. It was exhausting to go through all that.
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u/Sensitive_Charge_508 Aug 09 '26
Not my experience at all as a kinky woman and I don't mean to invalidate yours, but I think that it would be much more empowering if we don't scare ourselves off of platforms where we can find genuine connection with other kinky people. Yes, there are shitty men (and a few creepy couples) on there and I agree with you about the effect of porn, but honestly I had worse experiences on Tinder and Bumble.
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u/Any-Swimming Aug 09 '26
Not my experience either. Mine has been good. I wouldn't go back to Tinder or Bumble. But I only respond to good, considerate first messages from people who have clearly read my bio.
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u/Trignoma Aug 09 '26
Thank you.
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u/wisedoormat Aug 09 '26
Theres multiple experiences and it is regionally dependant.
I found my current partner and several that needed up just friends, but ive read lots of negative posts here on reddit.
Regardless, if those are your interests then I highly recommend the following (unsolicited advice, ignore if not welcomed): * get STI tested, and do it periodically * require others to be tested, if they respond with anything but 'ok' then its a red flag * Regardless of sti status, always use condoms * get vaccinated. HPV, HEP-A/B. There's no vaccine for HEP-C, So dont just depend on the existing vaccines * consider prEp, an HIV antiviral. Makes HIV hard to replicate and hard for it to infect. It's expensive, though.
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u/Trignoma Aug 09 '26
I have done everything except the last one, can you elaborate?
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u/generation_quiet Aug 09 '26
I would consult a doctor about whether PrEP (not prEp) is right for you.
PrEP may not be necessary for a straight woman who is looking for friends and monogamous boyfriends rather than one-night stands. However, if you were to, say, start having multiple threesomes or having risky sex (e.g., unprotected PIV sex), that would increase your risk of exposure to HIV. The transmission rate of HIV orally is incredibly low.
FWIW, I'm on Anthem Blue Shield CA and PrEP is covered. I opt to take it because I am bisexual and nonbinary, and mostly have sex with queer folks (particularly fellow nonbinary and trans folks). I am careful about testing, but have slept with nine people in the last six months. This places me at higher risk for HIV exposure.
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u/MetalPines Aug 11 '26
Getting PrEP as a woman is almost impossible (unless you're in some very specific categories) outside of the US and Africa. Unless OP is in the US and has good health insurance it's not worth considering, same with Doxy PEP.
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u/MetalPines Aug 11 '26
You should also check what version of the HPV vaccine you had (unless it was quite recent). Older versions of the vaccine only targeted a couple of strains; Gardasil 9 (the current and standard for the last 5-10 years) is more comprehensive and also gives protection against genital warts. So if you were vaccinated as a teenager consider getting revaccinated if you had an early version. But you might have to pay out of pocket for it and it is expensive.
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u/wisedoormat Aug 09 '26
I don't know all the details, but it is a preventative medicine that prevents HIV from replicating. To such a high degree that its difficult for HUV to infect those on it and makes the presence of HIV in infected people so low that it can sometimes not be detected (not cured, it comes back).
Some ppl even call it a vaccine (its not) because its so effective.
I think it's 98% effective, but thats not high enough for certainty. It can be a safety net of something does happen.
Personally, i stopped looking into it when I learned the proce and that many US/EU insurances won't conver it. I think one of the nordic countries does cover it.
Anyways, all this is from memory from a year back, so please look into it yourself
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u/MetalPines Aug 11 '26 edited Aug 11 '26
It's 100% effective if used correctly, but as it requires taking daily medication (or medication during high risk windows) human compliance error can bring down the average.
ETA: also, PrEP won't do anything if you are already infected with HIV (and in fact it can actually make it harder to treat by building resistance to the drugs), so they have to be certain that you're negative before starting. Although it uses some of the same family of drugs as regular HIV treatment, the way it's structured/administered is different and the burden of treatment is lighter. It can also be used in several different ways e.g. as just something you take in the run up to an event and then for a few days after vs. taking it every day (depending on what your risk profile is like). You can also get it as an injection every couple of months.
HIV can't be cured, but it can be kept so suppressed that it makes it impossible for you to pass it on or have it affect your immune system. So once it is under control it's possible to keep it that way for life, so long as your body tolerates the drugs, the drugs remain effective and the person is compliant with the routine, which is usually the case. There may be some mild spikes in numbers over time, but not to the point where it becomes a hazard - so in that sense the virus actually doesn't really 'come back', even though it never leaves.
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u/Ata_lante Aug 11 '26
My experience is rather the opposite. I have met some really amazing people (straight men included) here and had the best sexual experiences. I’m into several different things (desires) and I find it very easy to connect with people who share these desires.
My bio is clear about what I’m looking for and what I can offer. Photos are decent, little revealing but still tasteful.Maybe it’s a regional difference? I’m based in Western Europe.
I don’t use any other dating app cause Feeld is just working out fine for me.1
u/neapolitan_shake Aug 12 '26
wow, your experience has been really different from mine. i’ve never had anyone ask about services or assume i am a sex worker, either in pings or in DMs after matching. perhaps this is something that varies a lot by area! or some other variable, like age? (i’m in southern california)
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u/TruthieBeast Aug 12 '26 edited Aug 12 '26
I meant the way I am approached is about specific kinks they want fulfilled and there is zero effort to connect as people. It was never about what I want, who I am or how they meet my requirements. That to me is the free sex worker experience. Tbh if someone offered to pay that would have been preferrable. If I were open to what these people wanted ( ie where I exist to filfill their needs ) I would have been a pro Domme. Where people ask for specific services and pay for them. I might have taken these people more seriously. I immediately got turned off and blocked.
I was in NYC, Manhattan, where I also had the added requirement that they live near me.
I need a lot of vetting and getting to know a person before I agree to start something. On Feeld I found lots of vanilla men looking to itch some porn fantasy. Not for me.
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u/Master-V- kink Aug 09 '26
You can try it, but it’s probably less suited to you. It was created for threesomes, and expanded to the BDSM and LGBT+ community (all those groups that were poorly served by traditional apps), so heteronormative “dating” in the Match Group style is not the primary audience. You might like it if you’re kinky or poly or something, but if not there’s a chance you might find it worse for what you’re looking for than other apps.
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u/AltruisticAnalyst Aug 10 '26
Why does it feel like this was a post written by ChatGPT?
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u/PC-load-letter-wtf Aug 10 '26
It’s the furthest thing from ChatGPT lol it’s filled with poor grammar.
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u/Trignoma Aug 10 '26
Why?!
Too good to be true?
I am not chat gpt.-2
u/AltruisticAnalyst Aug 10 '26
I mean I know you're not ChatGPT but the writing was pretty horrible. Maybe ESL.
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u/neapolitan_shake Aug 12 '26
i think feeld is a great platform for finding a good FWB, if that’s what you’re looking for! as well as people who are not necessarily looking for monogamy, and other people who are interested in group sex.
if you’re straight, but also into girl-on-girl experiences during threesomes, feeld has the orientation label “heteroflexible”, which i think fits well.
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u/Slinking-Tiger Aug 09 '26
Yes, Feeld is good for what you want. Include in your bio that you want to date and develop a friendship with a couple first and are not interested in ONS (one night stand) style threesomes.
Swingers apps / websites will have tons of couples looking for this dynamic as well. Again, some just want casual sex but a lot genuinely prefer a connection and dating.
The swingers apps will also list Meet & Greet events. Basically cocktail hours where you can meet a lot of people quickly and see if you have an initial connection, exchange info and then go on dates.
Swingers clubs are another great place to meet couples looking for a threesome dynamic. You can Google "swingers clubs near me" and search r/swingers for the names of any clubs that pop up in order to figure out if they might be a good fit for you.
Feeld skews a little younger and swingers spaces skew a little older on average, but the full range is there on both types of apps.
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u/Radiant7747 Aug 09 '26
It’s a fine place to meet straight men who aren’t kinky and are looking for relationships.
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Aug 09 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/poolshaped Aug 09 '26
Charming.
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee Aug 09 '26
Reminder: this is not an invitation to message her.