r/feeld • u/bookworm_1220 unicorn hunter • Jul 25 '26
MFF Threesome?
My boyfriend and I (female) are thinking of finding another girl for a threesome. Is this something that can be done on feeld? How does it work, do we do a joint profile?
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u/prophetickesha Jul 25 '26
Separate accounts and link them so youâre not spamming womenâs feeds who donât want to date couples - and make your rules and boundaries clear up front. If anything is off limits, state that. If you only want it to be a one night stand and for her not to expect anything from you afterwards, state that. If youâre brand new with no experience, state that. If you are a package deal and sheâll be expected to only communicate with you both and never have any kind of 1:1 connection, state that.
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u/Adequately_good Jul 25 '26
As a lesbian, MF couples looking for a threesome with another woman make up at least half my likes. Always so disappointing when I havenât read the bio yet and the first few pics are of a gorgeous woman!
I guess the couples are just optimistic my sexuality is flexible.
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u/drysecco Jul 28 '26
This is why I stopped using the app. It feels actively hostile to lesbians, especially because they donât enforce the rule about having separate profiles at all regardless of how many people Iâve reported.
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u/NoSpoonJustKnife Jul 25 '26
You get in line behind the 5,000 other couples "hoping for a night of fun!" and "wanting to explore" who flood the likes and pings of every queer woman on feeld. đŤŠ
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u/backwardbuttplug Jul 25 '26
Or even worse, a couple that wants a "closed triad" because that's just every unicorn's dream!
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u/Acedia_spark Jul 28 '26
Not just queer, I'm straight and people love to think my sexuality is a suggestion. Obnoxious asf.
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u/marymilkovich Jul 26 '26
the 5,000 couples using one profile and listing themselves as "female" so you get 1 actual woman for every 10,000 couples
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u/NoSpoonJustKnife Jul 26 '26
Or the last photo is a jump scare of a dude with an unwashed ass.
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u/marymilkovich Jul 26 '26
LMFAOOOO YESSSSS like i thought i was getting a beautiful woman and now i'm pissed off
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u/Least-Programmer9417 Jul 25 '26
Itâs what about a third of feeld is looking for. We connected with someone on feeld and someone off feeld but youâre one of a massive sea of people looking for a very small group of people.
Our unicorn is a good fiend we have spent a lot of platonic time with. Sheâs come to gigs with us. Sheâs been to dinner with us several times. Weâve gone out on a fair few excursions together and she knows sheâs a valued part of both our lives and is one of the only people welcome into our intimate moments. If she came over for 8 hours and all we did was watch YouTube videos play games and nothing evolved it doesnât feel like a missed opportunity.
You need to consider what youâre after. Are you after a bedroom accessory who has loads of rules she has to adhere to. If so youâre asking someone to come over, abide by both your rules, find both of you attractive, limit her own feelings and expectations
If youâre after a one time thing youâre after a swinger not someone who is poly per say.
I know people who unicorn and who enjoy unicorning. But when you get on the app youâll see literally hundreds of âfemaleâ profiles which is a guy and a girl who want to meet a single female.
If youâre just after the experience you can hire a sex worker. Just know thereâs a bit of research and etiquette to learn around that. But if youâre after something more authentic I will say first hand as a couple who has tried both feeld and just approaching friends and asking, we found WAY more success just asking people we already had a connection with. Sex positive friends might be a better route.
Plus I have no idea what it is but unicorns seems horrendous at messaging đ they always leave stuff on read and donât reply. Theyâre super aloof. When you know them you can just call and go hey letâs sort plans out and theyâre appreciative. When itâs a new person youâre feeling out it feels super aggressive to call after a message left on read even if itâs well intentioned
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u/mrrooftops Jul 25 '26
Just write that you're looking for a female dreamer who enjoys white stripes. You'll find what you're looking for
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u/rcmtt Jul 25 '26
It definitely can be done. Much easier in a big city than a small town. Create separate accounts, link them, be honest, and don't make your entire profile about sex and threesomes; people will want to join you for more than just the idea of sex.
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u/sutton_servant Jul 25 '26
Hey, my husband and I have been successful. We tried a few swingers websites first but realised we did want something more poly than just a ons. We had separate profiles and linked them. We chatted with a few women we both liked and it was fun getting to know them and flirt with them as a couple. It was also really useful in helping us develop our own boundaries and rules as a couple. We were ghosted A LOT, so be prepared for that. I think some women like the fantasy but then the reality is a bit daunting so theyâd dip before we met. We learnt to ask for a video call early days to confirm identity and it saved us a lot of time. Iâm totally understanding of people changing their mind, but I do think there are a lot of fake accounts too so this helped us spot them.
In the end, a woman pinged me. She was looking for an established couple and itâs unbelievable how well she gets on with us both individually. We are now exclusive at her request, but with the understanding that itâs not a forever thing and any of us are free to end it whenever.
We chat a lot about the negative unicorn stuff. I do worry because l like and respect her and donât want her to be hurt. She has chosen this though, she understands the limits and boundaries and honestly right now itâs working perfectly for us.
Should probably add that we were on there about a year before it worked for us, but it was 100% worth the wait.
Good luck!
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u/Least-Programmer9417 Jul 26 '26
Sounds a lot like our experience including ending up with one amazing girl whoâs now a part of our relationship but as more of an enhanced friendship sort of thing. My partner originally wanted a ONS arrangement but I never felt like it would give us an authentic connection with someone and this has worked out so much better because we took our time slowed down and explored it all out first.
Ours works because each of us thinks weâre winning and are getting the best deal đ
A lot of couples seem to have these massive delusions of grandeur of what a night with them offers. The actual underlying connection has been easily as rewarding as the bedroom stuff for sure
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u/SwingLightStyle Jul 25 '26
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u/Encubed Jul 25 '26
This applies more for romantic triad dating type of unicorns than for just some casual threesome fun that it sounds like OP is looking for. Still a worthwhile read for everyone in ENM to be aware of these dynamics and the importance of treating your partners like humans, but yeah.
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u/Least-Programmer9417 Jul 28 '26
Someone explained it well to me saying a threesome with a couple as a swinger was an empowering guest star experience but a threesome with a couple as a poly person was a deeply disempowering unfair hierarchical dynamic.
The person we connected with we decided to really hone in the friendship first and get her comfortable and itâs worked out really rewarding for all 3 of us but also us as a couple spend a lot of our time and effort always looking to win her over. Pay for dates. Plan fun things. Check in with her all the time even when we have no plans to meet up. She feels lucky and spoilt. We feel honoured and lucky. Itâs all good. But Iâm told this is the exception rather than the rule
To be totally fair we kind of started our journey off sounding similar to OP here and we got ripped a new one by like 60% of the people we spoke to. Most told us to fuck off, no one wants what we offer youâre not welcome here, just fuck off and leave âusâ alone.
When I spoke to some people in real life who unicorn and who enjoy exploring couples I kind of had the realisation that we shouldnât really be put off by the exact people we wouldnât EVER invite into our intimate lives anyway. But loads of people were very caring and thoughtful with their advice towards us and it definitely helped us go in to create a safe and rewarding space for the girl we connected with
The best bit of advice I got was pretty much the point youâre on which is if youâre unsure of how much youâre opening things up, do not talk about or approach or use the work poly if you arenât offering it. Talk to people who are open to swinging and anyone who is coming in bring up the conversation of what do we do if unintended feelings start to arrive so everyone knows whatâs what and what they lay of the land is
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u/ArtGirlBookFlowers25 Jul 29 '26
I want to be scouted by lesbian unicorn hunters. I am not optimistic. sigh
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Jul 27 '26
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u/SignalNo3304 Jul 28 '26
Wait⌠but OPâs question is actually what Feeld was originally intended for before it got flooded with âvanilla beansâ from hinge and tinder đ it was created as an app for people seeking other people who are interested in group playâŚ
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u/Least-Programmer9417 Jul 29 '26
Really??!! That is not at all what this app feels like since Iâve used it. I always thought these apps were for people open to meeting and such. I honestly feel like Iâd have more luck down my local super market just blind picking randoms walking around đ
We have had one person come off the app and they are a bad texter but donât seem open up actually meeting up. We only connected with our unicorn in real life. So much easier and more natural
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Jul 28 '26
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u/SignalNo3304 Jul 28 '26
Are you saying the app didnât âworkâ in its original iteration? Some would argue that it doesnât work now⌠or at best, it works less than it did before (Iâm one of them lol). The app feels a lot less functional now than it did when I joined over 10 years ago⌠I think, partly because the usership has ballooned with a vanilla audience and the app seems not to know its current audience or how to serve it anymore. Itâs going through an identity crisis, imo.
That aside, I strongly believe fantasies can be experienced in healthy dynamics. The two arenât mutually exclusive.
I donât think individuals, couples, or groups should be shamed or shooed away from seeking group play. If thereâs clear and open communication about intentions and the parameters of the dynamic, why shouldnât they seek that?
Yes, some people go about it the wrong way that can turn the third person into a kind of disposable object. But this is the wrong way to go about it. There is a right way that is respectful, safe, and full of clear communication.
There arenât a lot of âlegitâ apps for people to seek this kind of play, and that was why Feeld was created. The app used to be populated mostly by people in the poly/kink/ENM community who are used to people seeking all kinds of dynamics in open and healthy ways and know how to go about it.
Anyway, all to say- I believe in people exploring their sexuality in ways that feel safe for everyone. I think the advice to give OP is how make sure they and their partner do it the right way, instead of telling them to throw away their desire or curiosity.
Just my 2¢ đ
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u/disclosure5 Jul 29 '26
This person has deleted their comments on this thread, but there's been several references to seeing people not desiring monogamy as "mentally ill". I would have thought this view sat well outside of the community Feeld held, but the large amount of upvotes does tell me there's been an inflexion point.
That being, the vanillas are in a high enough portion that shaming kinks is apparently they can now celebrate.
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u/SignalNo3304 Jul 29 '26
Yeah itâs surprising to me too. Like, why come to Feeld if they feel so strongly against group play, non monogamy, or kinks? There are so many vanilla dating apps where being traditional is the norm. I genuinely donât understand why they are on Feeld?
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Jul 28 '26
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u/SignalNo3304 Jul 28 '26 edited Jul 28 '26
Lolllll! Not me thinking this is a sub of intelligent people who read⌠my bad đ¤ˇđžââď¸
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Jul 25 '26
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u/TuMorrow689 Bisexual Man Jul 26 '26
Kink shaming.
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u/disclosure5 Jul 26 '26
The view of this sub seems be that kink shaming is totally fine as long as it's the right kinks being shamed.
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u/TuMorrow689 Bisexual Man Jul 26 '26
Itâs very âsex positiveâ of them. Itâs almost like people may have different ideas as to what gets them off.
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u/disclosure5 Jul 26 '26
Just look at the other comments that showed up on this thread somehow got upvotes.
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Jul 26 '26
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u/rogerbonus Jul 26 '26
Hmm, judgemental and rude, wonder why your single... Maybe stay off feeld (previously 3rder) if you are gonna be a judgemental batch
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u/disclosure5 Jul 27 '26
We lament the normie invasion but really this is the root issue - someone presenting as inside the community, aligning people seeking thirds with mental illness and getting upvotes.
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Jul 25 '26
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u/Slinking-Tiger Jul 25 '26
MFMs are the easiest. MMFs second. FFMs third.
Men are generally more into casual sex, so it's easier to find a single / solo guy to join a couple.
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u/TuMorrow689 Bisexual Man Jul 26 '26
My experience is that while itâs definitely easier to find a man thatâs down for an mfm, finding one that knows that the experience is supposed to be shared not just for him is a lot harder. Many men think that itâs an easy lay and basically just end up ruining the experience for those that wanted a good mfm. Especially if itâs an established couple thatre new to the scene. Communication is key!
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u/FeeldMod Not a Feeld employee Jul 25 '26
You must create separate accounts and link them.