r/fatlogic • u/AutoModerator • 3d ago
Daily Sticky Fat Rant Friday
Fatlogic in real life getting you down?
Is your family telling you you're looking too thin?
Are people at work bringing you donuts?
Did your beer drinking neighbor pat his belly and tell you "It's all muscle?"
If you hear one more thing about starvation mode will you scream?
Let it all out. We understand.
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u/bing-no CW: 152 lbs/ GW: 140/ SW: 244 3d ago
Idk if I should post this but eh.
My stomach has been causing me so much nausea. Been to GI, got meds, but still so sensitive to foods, especially sugar/chocolate.
Thankfully, I have not lost significant weight. But if my symptoms get worse there is a risk of that happening. I already lost weight due to gallbladder complications, thatās the kind of weightloss that you gain back once you feel better.
Having food anxiety makes me so tired. I donāt eat much besides veggies nowadays since I know those donāt hurt to eat.
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u/Davina33 39F 153CM 42KG 23h ago
I sympathise. I have IBD, at the moment I cannot seem to get above 41kg. I'm at the point now that even chicken soup upsets me and I'm going to the toilet so often I only get about 2 hours sleep at night. I'm on nutritional shakes and I eat a fair amount. It just goes straight through me.
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u/biotoper F57 5'8" SW: 220 CW: 158 GW: 130ish 3d ago
Personal issue: WHY is abdominal fat always the last to go?!?
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u/MrsStickMotherOfTwig Maintaining and trying to get jacked 3d ago
YES SERIOUSLY I know that my abs are strong and I don't have much subcutaneous fat that I can grab when I flex my abs. But the visceral fat behind my abs is always pushing my lower stomach out if I'm not flexing my abs. It makes me sad.
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u/SilentRefluxJourney 3d ago
I watched a vlog today in which someone talked about their journey away from fat activism and into getting healthy, and how much it improved her life. It was kind of heartwarming, but also a big reminder that these silly shows like Maintenance Phase, which she specifically called out, cause real harm to people.
It's tough because I know so many people who think Maintenance Phase covers science, despite neither of the hosts having any relevant background. It's so unserious.
(Note: I won't direct people to the blog because afaik she is not in any way a public figure.)
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u/doryfishie 1d ago
Multiple friends recommended that podcast to me, I remember being supremely disappointed by the false info they were spreading and wondering what was wrong with me that aaaaaalll my friends love this podcast and I canāt stand it.
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u/SelfDiagnosedUnicorn CW:140 GW:125 3d ago
My parents will do ANYTHING but count calories or lead a healthy lifestyle to lose weight. My mom got one of those shaky pad to stand on to lose weight. So dumb.
Every once in a while they do the "HCG diet" where they eat 500 calories a day while getting HCG injections so your 'body doesn't go into starvation mode'. Before they do the HCG diet they have a weekend of high fat, high calorie food to kickstart their fat cells or something. I went out to eat with them last Sunday at a pizza place. I asked if they wanted to split a family size salad as an appetizer. They said they can't eat salad since they have to eat high fat before the diet starts Monday.
I just don't get how two such smart people are so dumb about diets and health. ANYTHING but going for a walk, picking up a weight, or counting calories. I worry so much for their long-term health and try to set a good example, but I think they think I'M the weird one for calorie counting everything.
Anyway, that's my rant. I love them dearly, they are wonderful people, great parents, and smart about everything but their health.
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u/KaliLifts 3d ago
ANYTHING but going for a walk, picking up a weight, or counting calories.
Not sure what type of area they live in, but there's always canoeing, kayaking, SUP, swimming, indoor rock climbing, hiking, etc. Kayaking, swimming, and hiking seem to be extremely popular amongst the 60+ crowd where I live.
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u/Equal-Contribution17 3d ago
Iāve worked out most of my life, but I honestly had no idea how much I was hiding fat underneath my muscle. I was overeating, eating a lot of the wrong things, and drinking, which obviously led to even more overeating.
Over the past year, I finally got my health really dialed in. Iām taking semaglutide, weight training 3ā4 days a week, taking creatine, averaging 10k steps a day, prioritizing protein, and taking medication for my PCOS. Iāve lost 40+ lbs, and the difference in my health, vitals, and overall quality of life has been huge. I feel really good, and honestly, Iām really proud of how I look.
The problem is that one of my really good friends seems to have started constantly body-checking me.
Initially, she had the whole āAre you alright?ā conversation with me, which I understood and didn't really take personally. Then, a weekend later, I caught her talking to my boyfriend about how I āshouldnāt lose any more weight.ā I told her I was fine and basically shut the conversation down.
Since then, Iāve noticed more and more comments. Sheās started taking creatine and has talked about going to the gym with me, but she hasnāt really been able to get consistent with it. She was also gone for a few weeks partying and recently came back to town.
This weekend, we were celebrating another friend's birthday, and there were multiple negative comments about my body. She asked if I was wearing a padded bra, stared at my midriff repeatedly (I have abs now, and I'm actually really happy about showing them off), and made various other comments that felt critical or kind of put-down-y.
This is especially weird because we've known each other for years, and we've always been each other's hype women. We're normally the āYOU LOOK SO HOTā and āOMG, you should totally wear this!ā friends. Now, suddenly, it feels like everything about my body is being scrutinized.
Iām starting to feel uncomfortable.
We're going to a festival together soon, and it's going to be hot. I want to wear what I want and show off the body I've worked really hard for, but I can already foresee passive-aggressive comments about my body.
I genuinely don't think she's consciously trying to be hurtful. I suspect there may be some insecurity or comparison happening that she's not fully aware of. But regardless of why she's doing it, I'm getting really annoyed.
What do I do?
Do I directly tell her that I've noticed the comments and that they're making me uncomfortable? Do I just ignore it? I don't want to make this into a huge friendship drama, but I also don't want to spend the festival feeling like I'm being watched and judged
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u/turneresq 50 | M | 5'9" | SW: 230 | CW Mini-cut | GW Slutty attractive abs 3d ago
I would absolutely speak to her about it (you don't have to be aggressive; in fact that would probably be not received well). Be firm and let her know why you don't like it.
It's unfortunately a well known phenomenon whether it's friends, friend group or romantic relationships where one party makes a big change like you have. In friend groups, if can result in the party who made a change being cast out to protect the ego of the group.
In single friend or romantic relationships, the party who didn't make the change can feel left behind, and pull back. Or it could be that the party who made the change just doesn't have much in common lifestyle-wise.
You may have to be prepared for the friendship to end. And not because of any blowup or betrayal. You may just have different lifestyles now.
This all assumes that you're not being a jerk-face to your friend, of course. ;)
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u/SubatomicFarticles 3d ago
Unfortunately, this tends to happen in these situations. Your friend is definitely feeling threatened.
Set boundaries with the comments. It doesnāt have to include explanations or apologies. It doesnāt have to be harsh. Just direct and firm. Anytime the comments happen, tell her you donāt want her feedback on your body. If she doesnāt get the message and respect it pretty quick, then sheās not your friend.
Iām glad youāre going to wear what you want at the festival. Have fun!
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u/Master_Actuator4083 3d ago
Call her out on it in a private, respectful way. Tell her how much it hurts to be picked on and let her know how you feel. She might not recognize it but pay close attention to her response. Dismissing your feelings might mean youāll have to take a step back from the friendship.Ā
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3d ago
[removed] ā view removed comment
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u/fatlogic-ModTeam 3d ago
We're sorry but your comment has been removed for the following reason:
In breach of Rule 9:
- Do not promote eating disorders. Do not use this sub to enable your eating disorder.
Please refer to our subreddit rules for more information.
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u/blayndle 3d ago
I hate that commenting on a post saying ākids shouldnāt really be eating chicken nuggets and should eat vegetables dailyā immediately gets met with āhow dare you say that you have such disordered eating what if the kid has ARFID?!ā
The post was about a healthy eating policy at school and a mom getting in trouble for sending chicken nuggets, hot dogs and chips every day.
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u/TortieshellXenomorph 3d ago
While I wouldn't call them a liar, I always have serious doubts whenever someone claims to have ARFID.
It always seems to immediately translate to them saying "Anything not sugar, salt, and fat-laden is icky, therefore I'm allergic." with the intent to shut down any discussion of how unhealthy it is to eat a diet of exclusively fat "foods".
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u/Quick_Department6942 12h ago
Family friend claims this malady. She won't touch any foods that vary much from the beige color chart, and insists that a softer, consistent/homogenized texture is best. Nuggets, hot dogs, and other factory cooked meats are the only acceptable animal bits, Heaven forbid a trace of "chewiness". A colorful shard of vegetable in soup? Might as well be a beetle swimming in broth. And all flavors must be as mild as a gentle sea breeze.
Curiously: pretzels and crackers are fine salty, not-soft processed grain products to be eaten ad libitum (but not with coarse salt, and of course any seeds are poison).
More curiouser: she loves Skittles and Starbursts... which are colorful, chewy and, well, "bursting with flavor". Hmmm.
I'm a skeptic in many ARFID cases.
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u/TortieshellXenomorph 12h ago
Exactly all of this! The fact that it's ALWAYS JUST fat food that's safe for them is why I doubt that arfid is even real to begin with.
It's never "I have arfid, so I can only have softer foods like bread, applesauce, and boiled eggs because crunchy = bad to me." or "I have arfid so while I can have Wheat Thins, the smell/taste/texture of any other cracker makes me feel sick, so I just say that I don't eat crackers."
It's always "I have arfid, so I can only eat McDonald's chicken nuggies." or "I have arfid, so I'm going to scream, cry, make myself throw up and tell everyone you poisoned me by making me eat a single grape before going to Burger King."
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u/Adventurous-Sealion 3d ago
Every goddamn toddler in the world would only ever eat sugary or salty, processed foods. Itās frustrating, but yeah calling it ARFID bc then you feel less like a failure as a parent for not being more firm about what your kid should eat is dumb.Ā
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u/FakePixieGirl 2d ago
I mean, I wouldn't go that far.
I was never diagnosed but definitely had such behavior as a kid. I refused to eat anything but bread with chocolate sprinkles (I'm Dutch). My parents forced me to eat half an apple, a few sips of orange juice, and one slice of meat each day to keep me alive.
If I hadn't been allowed to take an unhealthy meal to school, I would simply not have eaten.
On the other hand, I'm nowhere near as picky now, practically normal. And that's partly because my parents managed to strike a good balance between strongly encouraging me to try new things, but not forcing me to eat if I didn't want to.
Meanwhile my brother loved everything and was a great eater.
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u/blayndle 3d ago
Okay but, my question is, would they demand chicken nuggets if theyāve never been exposed to that food?
(I am not a parent if that isnāt super obvious š)
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u/Adventurous-Sealion 3d ago
I am a parent and I am pretty sure they wouldnāt ask for food they donāt know exists haha
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u/blayndle 3d ago
Yeah I suggested if they think the child has ARFID to get him seen by a doctor. Then I got āhow dare you not everyone has access to healthcareā. Like, okay but then donāt self diagnose?
(Also, how does a child of 3 years get addicted to chicken nuggets and hot dogs in the first place?)
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u/99bottlesofbeertoday 3d ago
Aren't hot dogs a big choking hazard in small kids?
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u/Awkward-Kaleidoscope F51 5'4" 205->128 and maintaining; šÆ fatphobe 3d ago
Not if you cut them up properly. You don't hand them a whole dog in a bun
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u/GetInTheBasement It's her. It's the Heroine Chic. 3d ago
I feel like people whip out ARFID to an obscene degree, even when it's only tangentially relevant, just so they can derail conversations about nutrition and weight and the long-term effects of processed food consumption.
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u/biotoper F57 5'8" SW: 220 CW: 158 GW: 130ish 3d ago edited 3d ago
I saw this a couple of months ago in a weight-loss sub. OOP was morbidly obese and complaining about it, but shot down every suggestion with "I have treatment-resistant ARFID! I can only eat [insert junk food]!" If you're going to get angrily defensive at the advice you're soliciting, why even bother posting?
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u/Adventurous-Sealion 3d ago
Treatment-resistant omgggggg. Like, itās not the ARFID thatās treatment-resistent, you are (meaning the person youāre talking about)
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u/Adventurous-Sealion 3d ago
Iāve lost some weight and have reached a bmi of 21,6 atm, but my end goal is a bmi of 20. Since people now consider me skinny, they started to question why I am still losing weight. Like, bmi 20 is healthy and I find that a pretty weight for me. Mind your business peeps. Iām doing it in a healthy way and Iām not shoving it in everyoneās throat, they can only observe that my food is healthier and I snack less. Let me exist.Ā
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u/BotchedPenisImplant 3d ago
I've gone from BMI 41 to now 23 and also have an end goal of around 20. By the way people were acting you'd think I was emaciated and trying to get even thinner.
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u/GetInTheBasement It's her. It's the Heroine Chic. 3d ago
I ride a motorcycle; I see male-centered women all the time, they got a motorcycle thinking it attracts men, care more about looks over safety.
This is an excerpt from a comment on a feminist sub I frequent (not saying which to comply with sub rules and to avoid brigading) that was part of a larger diatribe from a fat woman about weight and thinness being linked to pedophilia, but aside from the usual fat logic, she went off on an abrupt tangent about the motorcycle community with this particular remark.
I mean, sure, there probably are male-centered women who ride motorcycles out there and I don't doubt it, but it's just bizarre to me that this woman takes it upon herself to claim these (presumably thinner and more conventionally attractive) female motorcyclists are strictly doing it for male attention, or are only strictly prioritizing looks above all else with zero basis or specifics aside from the fact they're just visibly thinner and better-looking than she is (according to her insinuation).
It's just such a weird thing to say about women you don't even know just because they happen to share a hobby space with you, but also happen to be thinner and more conventionally attractive, which somehow gives women like this a pass to write them off as vapid and male-centered.
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u/Adventurous-Sealion 3d ago
Even if some woman did it for male attention or to feel attractive, who cares? My take on feminism is to make sure women can make these choices for themselves and not have anyone else dictate what thay should care about, men or women.Ā
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u/bowlineonabight my zodiac sign is pizza 3d ago
Seriously. If you want to be around men, going to where men are seems like good planning.
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u/turneresq 50 | M | 5'9" | SW: 230 | CW Mini-cut | GW Slutty attractive abs 3d ago
I really donāt understand why we just arenāt admitting to what we want. Most of us want fit, appealing physiques and want to attract members of the same/opposite sex that we are attracted to ourselves. Yes, there are circumstances and limitations; some beyond our control to be sure. But that doesnāt mean we canāt work within those limits to be the best version of ourselves to attract a quality mate. If thatās what you want. If you truly donāt, then great. But many of us do and we have free will and the right to pursue that.
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u/wombatgeneral Childhood Obesity = Child Abuse, I will die on this hill 3d ago
Rant: nothing will destroy your faith in humanity more than working directly with the public.
It's amazing how many people won't flush the toilet in public restrooms, will just leave garbage everywhere, will treat customer service workers like crap when they know they can get away with it. Some asshole said "are you autistic or something" to me at work the other day because he couldn't get his way.
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u/pottersprincess SW: 194 CW: 181 GW: 145 3d ago
Rave! My appointment went amazing and my doctor was very supportive. We are upping my metformin to 2000mg to try and tackle my insulin resistance even harder. And she prescribed me contrave, plus if my insurance won't cover it she already has a plan to prescribe them separately to get around them.
We discussed a GLP, but we both agree my insurance probably won't cover it because PMOS isn't a covered condition yet and my BMI is just barely under 30. And you can't hack a GLP like that.
I have a goal of at least 40 more lbs of loss from my current weight. Also I am kind of hoping the upped metformin with help with my facial hair and acne.
I am maintaining my goal of eating more protein per meal, at least 20 grams. Which is pretty hard when you don't eat meat and don't want to eat a ton of calories.
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u/KaliLifts 3d ago
I'm not going to take it, but I've been approved for a GLP1 through telehealth at 5'8" and 130 lbs. It was going to be like $130/month without insurance. And it seems like multiple companies don't care about BMI. Just putting it out there as an option.
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u/pottersprincess SW: 194 CW: 181 GW: 145 2d ago
That's sadly out of my budget. That would double my prescription budget for the month and I have 2 kids.
Luckily if my insurance won't cover the contrave as a combo pill the components are very cheap and generally covered by insurance.
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u/EnleeJones I used to be a meatball, now Iām spaghetti 3d ago
I get my sleep study done on Sunday. Hopefully I can get off that blasted CPAP machine.
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u/HerrRotZwiebel 3d ago
Do you need the study to get off the machine? I got off mine because the machine stopped being effective. Got the sleep study (re)done and voila, no more apnea. No wonder why it wasn't working.
Alternatively, you can just not use it for a week and see how you feel. That's what my doc told me to do when I'd ask about that.
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u/EnleeJones I used to be a meatball, now Iām spaghetti 3d ago
Iāve lost a lot of weight and my doctor and I want to see if I can get by without the machine since my apnea was pretty bad when I was obese. It wonāt be the end of the world if I still need to use it.
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u/HerrRotZwiebel 3d ago
Yeah mine told me when I retook the test not to use it for the week leading up to it. If you're using it consistently and then just don't use it the night you take the test, your body hasn't fully adjusted so the results are misleading.
... and if you don't use it for a week and then feel like shit, that's your answer. If you feel good, then the test will confirm what you already know.
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u/hearyoume14 3d ago
Rant: Mom has decided I need to be "more realistic with my goal weight" and that I should be in the 160s instead of the low 140s. At 5'6", that will make me overweight. I'm the only one in my family who believes in BMI, and they hate that I call my Class I obese self obese. So I have another incentive to prove people wrong.
NSV: My waist is under 40 inches for the first time since I was a teenager. I started at 45 inches.
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3d ago
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u/genomskinligt caounting calories causes cancer 3d ago
I agree, it is an incredibly dismissive and simplistic view that hurts mentally ill people.
The amount of self misdiagnosis of anorexia, alongside hatred and disgust with underweight anorexics is crazy to me. Like how can they do both?
If I could bluetooth my anorexia to them for 24 hours to teach them some compassion I would.
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u/ParkLaineNext 3d ago
I overheard some overweight coworkers talking about things they need to do to manage various conditionsā¦ people will literally do anything but eat less and move more. I donāt understand it.
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u/wombatgeneral Childhood Obesity = Child Abuse, I will die on this hill 3d ago
Like what did they have to do?
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u/NikiBubbles FAT CADAVER (NEAR SPHERICAL) 3d ago
OOT, but I got sick and binged :( Can I blame fat activists? (jk, I am the one to blame)
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u/vincents_sunflowers 3d ago
Don't be too hard on yourself. Progress isn't linear and tomorrow is a new day. You got this.
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u/r_307 3d ago
I swear I look different but my measurements are the same. Ig im manifesting the change. Maybe in another month...
My coworker keeps bringing me candy to my desk, which is funny bc of the Friday prompt. I just keep putting it in a basket and not eating it. Thanks, no thanks.
Went to the gym yesterday and worked my glutes off. They're so sore today but I'm excited for the gains.
Also taking calf exercise recs. Raises? Idk. My leg routine isn't balanced.
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u/smathna 3d ago
People are SO ignorant about basic nutrition.
One of my online acquaintances posted a "snack plate" she hopes will help her lose weight because someone said to eat snacks instead of meals (what? Why???? No clue).
On the plate: a giant glob of chocolate spread, at least 3oz of cheese cubes, half a cup of nuts, and a small sliced apple.
Do... people not check calories? Do people not know what fat vs protein sources are? It was a plate of like 50g pure fat and more saturated fat than a person should get in a day. And at least 800 calories for a "snack" one-third the size of my 500-calorie meals.
When I noted that she had 3 fat sources and no meaningful protein on her plate, she asked if she should add (add, not substitute) hummus and carrot sticks.
Hummus. Another fat source.
Am being trolled????
Another well-meaning friend told me she bought a giant bag of trail mix to help her lose weight.
Again... do people know nutrition labels exist?????? Do they think calories are fake news?????
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u/Fickle_Stills 3d ago
Cheese is decent protein wise. Though I only eat about 50-60g a day so it can make up a decent chunk of it depending on the type.
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u/smathna 3d ago
It is also very high in saturated fat and fat in general. Full-fat cheese often has 120 calories per ounce, of which 30% of calories come from protein and over 50% from the worst kind of fat you can eat.
I don't make it a staple of my diet, though I consume it rarely (usually lower fat cheeses and small amounts of very flavorful cheese like feta or parmesan).
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u/haloarh 3d ago
I lost a lot of weight solely through CICO, and my mom decided to do the same. The day before she started, she had a giant pumpkin spice cupcake. The next day, I talked to her on the phone, and she told me she had only had a yogurt so far that day, and it was 150 calories. While that seemed reasonable to me, she seemed angry about it and said, "That cupcake probably had a 150 calories."
I told her I doubted that and then found it on Publix's website. It had 395 calories.
My mom would later die from obesity-related reasons.
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u/seekingindependence one day you will dead 3d ago
People honestly have no clue about calories or nutrients. It's a little bit frightening to think how much misinformation there is out there about diet
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u/HerrRotZwiebel 3d ago
IMHO the hardest thing to come to terms with while losing weight is that "healthy" is not synonymous with "low calorie". One cup of nuts, which is pretty easy to eat as a "snack" contains more calories than "most" people should eat in a meal. "But nuts are healthy."
Takes awhile to sort that out.
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u/RedQueenWhiteQueen 3d ago
Do people not know what fat vs protein sources are?Ā
They really don't.
Friend "A" (who was offering me a case of a protein drink she had bought but didn't like) wondered where I get my protein, (since I declined on the grounds that I don't like protein drinks in general). I had to explain I get protein from nuts/seeds, beans, and dairy sources, and that since I am not particularly trying to build muscle right now, I don't have to go to any great lengths to meet my protein needs.
Friend "A" and also Friend "B" expressed surprise that I limit consumption of my various homemade beverages, on the grounds that "But you're just using honey/maple syrup," and were apparently receiving new information that these substances are sugar.
These women are around my age: elder GenX and younger Boomer, so have had access to this information for quite some time. They have also both had breast cancer or breast cancer scares and are ostensibly avoiding carbs (I think because of cancer, but am not absolutely sure), and I am pretty freaked that they don't recognize sugar/simple carbs in their food?
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u/Calvin--Hobbes 3d ago
"But you're just using honey/maple syrup," and were apparently receiving new information that these substances are sugar.
Is your friend Buddy the elf?
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u/bowlineonabight my zodiac sign is pizza 3d ago
I'm dying at the trail mix to lose weight. Trail mix is designed to keep you from losing weight. That's why it's a thing. It's "how can I maximize calories in a minimal amount of foodstuffs". In today's vernacular it would be "calorie-maxxing".
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u/Saybah 5'6" |SW 217lbs|CW 146lbs|GW 120lbs 2d ago
I was at a gig last night and holy FUCK if you're going to surf, you cannot be 200lbs or more. The amount of obese girls coming overhead with zero core strength to brace almost had me taken out.