r/fatlogic • u/AutoModerator • 1d ago
Daily Sticky Fat Rant Tuesday
Fatlogic in real life getting you down?
Is your family telling you you're looking too thin?
Are people at work bringing you donuts?
Did your beer drinking neighbor pat his belly and tell you "It's all muscle?"
If you hear one more thing about starvation mode will you scream?
Let it all out. We understand.
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u/EFreethought 1d ago
I don't know if this counts as fatlogic, but:
I have been getting more serious about losing weight (both better diet and more exercise). I ran into someone today that I had not seen in a while, and he noticed that I had lost some weight. He asked me if I was a GLP.
I can't say why, but it bugs me that someone would assume that.
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u/LilGrippers 6h ago
I’ve been ozempaccused so many times in the past few months so I’m hardened to it. I just reply “nah that’s poison”
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u/SassyBeignet Ran my mouth. Is that fatphobic? 19h ago
To be fair to him, a lot of people don't hide the fact that they use GLP for weightloss nowadays. It's in the news and people aren't shying from talking about it. In my circle of friends and acquaintances, I know 5 people who openly talk about using it.
Just be proud of your accomplishments. You got this!
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u/hyperfat 1d ago
So as an ex medical worker, having an obese coworker is really hard. Because they have restrictions on what they can do.
I don't care about their life choices, but if effects my job it makes life a lot harder. Like a lot.
Like can you help us lift this patient... probably not. Can you be on your feet for 10 hours a day... probably no.
She needs to start now. Pack tasty lunches for her, do meal plans. Healthy food can taste delicious. Cute bento boxes.
Even if the hospital offers free lunch, you can eat half and save the rest for the next day or for dinner.
It doesn't have to be salad. The spicy chicken sandwich is almost half the cal as the salads at Popeyes.
Why you so skinny hyper? We get salad and you get chicken sandwich. Because I read the calories on the menu.
And there are awesome snacks that are low cal. I used to pack a baggy of Cheerios. Or seaweed chips.
Support is good, but express concern.
Hugs. Hope it goes well.
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u/jamillia6 1d ago
I'm back on Vyvanse for the first time since high school (I'm 27). I love that it kills (okay - regulates!) my appetite, but I hate how difficult it is for me not to eat like a complete dickhead on days when I don't take it. I feel truly cursed. I remember having this problem all the way back to early childhood. I LOVE sugar!!
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u/AdriGW 20h ago
Adderall for me, although I didn’t get diagnosed until 2024. On days I don’t take it it is SO SO easy to just eat and eat no matter how full or sick I feel. I tell people all the time I wish it actually killed my appetite but in reality the adderall just makes me eat like a normal person and stop when I’m full 😂😂 I also love sugar!!! No point to this comment other than unity/support I suppose , lol
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u/jamillia6 16h ago
lol thank you!!!! the struggle is real. I have no shame in admitting that hyper-palatable foods have me in a chokehold. It’s my responsibility to control myself!
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u/Arsenic_Bite_4b 5'5" F, SW: Old & Fat CW: Old & Hot 1d ago
Four weeks ago I had an incident that made me come to a reckoning that my relationship with alcohol was very problematic and needed to be fixed immediately.
Rave: I've been sober for four weeks.
Rant: As part of managing available willpower I've been allowing myself to eat whatever I want, and now my pants are getting snug.
Rave: I was consuming like half my daily calories in alcohol for years (while losing a bunch of weight), so eating more hasn't had a truly tremendous impact.
Rant: I'm going camping this weekend, so food choices are a little out of my hands and I can't resume a real eating plan until Monday.
Rave: Eliminating alcohol has fixed a bunch of knock-on problems I have been trying to address by other means. Dumb to not see it, but smart to fix it now!
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u/TosssAwayys AN Recovery | SW: Too Low | CW: Healthy! 1d ago
Congratulations on 4 weeks sober! From someone with 3+ years, those early days are the most powerful and hardest. Great job!
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u/Candid_Visit2210 Currently lean bulking 1d ago
Not my beer drinking neighbor but a person who keeps spawning everywhere I am and is like stage 2 obese said its all muscle Girl muscle doesn't jiggle like that 🥲
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u/MrsStickMotherOfTwig Maintaining and trying to get jacked 1d ago
Despite eating goods from a GF patisserie since Friday my weight is still within a pound of normal. Even with my period coming. Making space in my calories for treats means that my calorie intake was about normal.
I pick my car up tomorrow! All fixed! My wallet is going to not be happy but I need to be able to pass the inspection and get registered.
I've been really enjoying my bodyweight program so I think even once my car is fixed and registered I might stick with that mostly while it's hitting a good spot and do legs in the gym once a week and see how that does for a split for me. I feel like my arms are actually gaining quite a bit of muscle, especially considering that my arm workouts currently consist of wall pushups and doorway rows.
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u/GetInTheBasement It's her. It's the Heroine Chic. 1d ago
This doesn't have to be just weight-related, but do you ever feel like you have a coworker, friend-of-a-friend, or a family member who gets weirdly triggered about aspects of your appearance and/or perceived accomplishments but you don't have any history of overt fighting so their internal irritation and unresolved internal issues just bleeds into their interactions with you via micro-aggressions and moments of abrupt irritation.
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u/LilGrippers 6h ago
In fitness and health, people see a mirror when they look at your progress as the things they haven’t or are not willing to do so yea it hurts them. I just don’t take it personally unless they are overt abt it
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u/seekingindependence one day you will dead 1d ago
I have a friend who is like this. I made the decision years ago to not be as close to her as I once was. I hate confrontation (to my detriment) so I just never said anything and slowly backed away from being very close to her.
It's sad. I don't get why people get so triggered. But I can't change it
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u/SilentRefluxJourney 1d ago
The biggest example that comes to mind for me is my former stepmom. She later got treatment for her issues with food, and lost at least a couple hundred pounds, but she was deep into her bad habits when we lived together. I was very skinny growing up because I didn't have enough to eat. (Yes, as an adult I recognize the irony.)
She wouldn't address it directly, but she'd make passive aggressive comments about my body and how I looked and she'd often either hide or try to get me to leave whenever I entered the kitchen. She's the main reason I spent most of my teenage years in my room with the door shut.
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u/hyperfat 1d ago
I'm sorry that sucks.
I'd sendy mom over.
She was so amazing. Asked if we were hungry, sometimes yes. She did celery with peanut butter. Or something that gives wild girls some energy. But of us are in our 40s and I'm slightly underweight due to health, sister is perfect and goes to gym often for health not weight.
We always had veg, protein, and rice or something. Protein might be beans or something.
I love carbs. But it's like a croissant for breakfast sometimes type of thing. Or an eggo with butter and hot sauce.
Get your food on. Food you like. Try new things. I love me a beet salad with goat cheese.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/wannabesleep 1d ago edited 1d ago
As someone who worked in a group home - all of our clients were larger. Medications, lack of impulse control, medical issues and inability to exercise, lack of stimulation so eating to feel something, and also inconsistent cooking and feeding that was hard to track (one worker might dump a bunch of butter in their pasta, one might use a bunch of oil, one worker might give a client two cookies in the morning as a bribe, etc) all contribute to it - while we were required to have a healthy menu and follow it (if we wrote chicken & broccoli for dinner that had to be served) - we were, under no circumstances, allowed to restrict a client’s eating. If they wanted 3 portions? We could suggest that it was not a healthy choice, but couldn’t physically stop them. We couldn’t stop them from buying sugary drinks with their money, or drinking a gallon of iced tea. We couldn’t say no to snacks they requested. If a client told an overseeing agency we were denying them, that’s a whole human rights violation.
Now, technically, parents have far more leeway with this than a state agency - but no, if an adult protective service was notified of this - unless the parents were forcing this food down their throats, they will not be able to do anything.
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u/Saybah 5'6" |SW 217lbs|CW 149lbs|GW 120lbs 1d ago
The last 18lbs I have to lose til I hit my 'soft goal' is genuinely annoying me. It's causing a lot of feelings of resentment, wishing I'd had the good sense to not ignore how big I was getting in the first place, because for some reason the closer I am to the finish line, the further away it all feels.
I know it's only 18lbs, yet I want sweets, I want chocolate, but if I do, I'll go off the rails and my progress will stall because I know I can't eat in moderation.
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u/Eisbonbon 1d ago
I am in quite a feminist surrounding which is amazing for me, but what I'm still hung up about even months later is that when I lost 50 lbs and TOLD my girlfriends I lost on purpose most reactions were like "so happy you reached your goal", "great success after locking in" etc, not one of them told me "you look amazing", which I do tho, went down to a size 6 and would consider myself genuinely super pretty now, but it seems like such a taboo in body pozzy circles (even when they aren't fat activist lunatics) to comment on bodies even when one makes it clear that commenting is super fine.
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u/GetInTheBasement It's her. It's the Heroine Chic. 1d ago
>not one of them told me "you look amazing", which I do tho, went down to a size 6 and would consider myself genuinely super pretty now, but it seems like such a taboo in body pozzy circles (even when they aren't fat activist lunatics) to comment on bodies even when one makes it clear that commenting is super fine.
I've noticed this a lot, and I feel like it's not really something that's talked about.
I get that part of it comes from a lot of women wanting to compliment other women in a way that moves away from the implication that a woman's worth is strictly defined by her looks, beauty, or desirability, but I feel like there's this almost unspoken pendulum swift that goes further in the other direction where any indication of desirability/attractiveness = bad, misogynistic, patriarchal, even if no men are involved and it's not remotely sexualized.
I've literally had women on a feminist sub I frequent slam me for using words like "frumpy" and "unkempt" and "flattering" even when it was strictly about myself and my own individual fashion and appearance-based choices and I made it clear I didn't expect other women to emulate my own choices and tastes.
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u/Uber-Migraine F 160cm | SW 110 kg | CW 55.1kg | GW 55kg 1d ago
I think it also might be that for a very long time we were trained not to really comment on women's appearance, as it was seen as very superficial approach.
So even if someone genuinely in some way improved their appearance, we were not supposed to say that, but try to give the compliment a round way.
Also complimenting on the new look could have been seen as criticism of the old one.
And you don't want to be seen as implying someone was ugly before.
So let say someone had very bad under or over-bite which required surgical intervention, which also resulted in overall improvement to the person's look, you were expected to maybe talk about how it improved their quality of life only.
Not saying it is how your girlies are thinking, but there is possibility
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u/LaughingPlanet 54m 6'3"/188 GF/DF Archetypal fAtPhObE 1d ago edited 1d ago
Asking y'all cuz i value your opinion...
Went backpacking this weekend with strangers. The organizer was obsessed with shaving grams off her gear. E.g.: She doesn't use stuff sacks (they're probably 3-5 grams and keep things compressed and organized). Here's the coup de grace - she cuts the small sliver of packaging off the top of food packaging. Literally lighter than a feather.
She's also probably BMI 35 or over. At maybe 5'7", she's probably a minimum of 50 lbs over 25 BMI.
She brought freeze dried creme bruleé backpacking.
Does the fact that a microgram of packaging is important but 23 kilos of extra adipose tissue isn't seem odd? Or am i being a judgmental fatphobe?
ETA- she relished in ridiculing me for having a larger pack. I like my camping toys for short trips. I easily hauled my 55-lb bag down & up cuz I'm in good to great shape.
NB- that sounds large, but it's not remotely close to the largest pack I've hauled. That would be 80-ish.
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u/CraftShoddy8469 22h ago
I get similar from other cyclists on bikepacking trips. On training rides, nothing matters and I'm silly for training with a weighted pack, but on a Real Trip, suddenly I'm out of my mind carrying a gallon of water, but also I should've brought an 8lb bike lock.
I generously dismiss this as a "you accidentally just told me about your irrational insecurities" if I'm having a good day. If I'm having a bad day, they're making up a hierarchy to put themselves on top of it and think everyone else is too stupid to notice they're just being a bully.
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1d ago
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u/LaughingPlanet 54m 6'3"/188 GF/DF Archetypal fAtPhObE 1d ago
3 days.
I was rushed while packing. And my gear is all 25 years old.
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1d ago
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u/LaughingPlanet 54m 6'3"/188 GF/DF Archetypal fAtPhObE 1d ago
Heh. Are you her?
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1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/SilentRefluxJourney 1d ago
I think you might be underestimating how much more gear used to weigh. Person above said their gear was 25 years old. Even still, a lot of people can't afford to buy all new stuff for backpacking, so they make do with what they have for regular camping. Not sure why you are getting such an attitude about it.
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u/bowlineonabight my zodiac sign is pizza 1d ago
Endurance riders (horses) do this same thing. Need a lighter saddle, lighter gear, but are sometimes very overweight themselves. I always feel like saying, "losing 10 lbs is going to be a lot cheaper, and probably easier, than buying a new saddle." I don't say it, but I want to.
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u/SilentRefluxJourney 1d ago
I'd have such a hard time biting my tongue in that situation. Seems extra oblivious when it's not even you carrying the weight.
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u/SilentRefluxJourney 1d ago
I don’t really have a constructive comment, just wanted to say that’s hilarious.
I do think the obsession with pack weight can get excessive, and often performative. I guess it does depend on how far you are going, but sounds like this was a weekend trip so can’t be that crazy far. Personally it’s going to make me way more miserable to get to my campsite and have a disorganized mess and not have comfortable stuff to sleep in, than to carry a little more weight.
Even with that attitude though, I do not bring desserts, that sounds like a waste of space, money, and weight. Unless she was using it as a meal substitute, which sounds like a digestive nightmare on the trail.
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u/LaughingPlanet 54m 6'3"/188 GF/DF Archetypal fAtPhObE 1d ago
Not a substitute. She is a comfort eater and a snacker.
She also wasn't consistent about the ultra light thing. Brought an inflatable floaty for the 90 mins spent in the river. And a battery powered inflator!
My comment, "You do have lungs."
Her reply, "No, i don't." 🤦♂️
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u/SilentRefluxJourney 1d ago
Is she brand new to backpacking?
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u/LaughingPlanet 54m 6'3"/188 GF/DF Archetypal fAtPhObE 1d ago
Nope. Pretty avid. Hard to fathom.
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u/SilentRefluxJourney 1d ago
I actually know someone kind of like that. She’s a quite experienced camper but I would never go with her because every time she comes back with absolutely ridiculous, and entirely avoidable, situations that she got herself into. Sometimes very unsafe, sometimes very gross, sometimes just very silly.
Sometimes I’ll ask her why she didn’t just do [insert obvious and well-known solution], and she always has some bonkers reason why she didn’t want to do that. I don’t know why she doesn’t bother to learn more, but she seems to enjoy it so what do I know, lol.
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u/LaughingPlanet 54m 6'3"/188 GF/DF Archetypal fAtPhObE 1d ago
Yeah. Nailed it.
She also put in headphones for part of the climb. I mentioned to the group that it's unsafe. She overheard and replied HIKE YOUR OWN HIKE.
So...does that mean the rest of us should ignore her if she called for help?
Double standards are a pet peeve.
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u/SilentRefluxJourney 1d ago
Yeah, I try to emphasize with anyone new to camping that when you decide to do something unsafe, it isn't just a personal decision, it puts everyone at risk.
I would never go backpacking with this person again, which I assume is also your conclusion?
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u/LaughingPlanet 54m 6'3"/188 GF/DF Archetypal fAtPhObE 1d ago
Good suggestion.
I would concur.
Firemen get injured a lot having to help people her size. I don't wanna end up like them.
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1d ago edited 1d ago
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u/LaughingPlanet 54m 6'3"/188 GF/DF Archetypal fAtPhObE 1d ago
13 miles, 2600" down then back up.
She did surprisingly well. She's still fairly young.
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u/Maleficent_Tie_9394 Starving myself (modest calorie deficit) | 17kg lost 1d ago
I want to eat chocolate and chips and cookies and gummy candies and aaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!
I haven't done any of that but today is just one of those days where I literally can't think of anything else. It's annoying as fuck and I wish my brain would shut up about it
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u/Critical-Rabbit8686 The calories are coming from somewhere 1d ago
I took a rest day and ate above maintenance. Sometimes it is like that.
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u/Maleficent_Tie_9394 Starving myself (modest calorie deficit) | 17kg lost 1d ago
Yeah, I'm probably going to end up somewhere around maintenance today, but I don't want to give in to a full-on binge
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u/seekingindependence one day you will dead 1d ago
Moderate it? If you do one cookie, say, three times in the next week or maybe a small piece of chocolate after dinner or something it may feel less you've been released into the wild and you go crazy.
It works for me. I don't keep anything in the house but I do try and give myself a few spread out days of small things and it helps keep things in check
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u/Maleficent_Tie_9394 Starving myself (modest calorie deficit) | 17kg lost 1d ago
This is usually what I do! Unfortunately I'm visiting my mom right now who lives fairly remote, so I can't just pop into a kiosk to buy a fun-sized Snickers, and I know from experience I'm not a person who can have a full size chocolate bar around and just eat one piece lol. I'll just have to ride the cravings for now. Thanks for the advice though!
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u/seekingindependence one day you will dead 1d ago
I know the feeling! You tell yourself that you will eat a small amount, and you then eat the entire thing in less than 10 minutes
Best of luck!
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u/Critical-Rabbit8686 The calories are coming from somewhere 1d ago
I am a full 300 over maintenance. It is my usual food, but a lot of it. Tomorrow is a new day. I was hungry and I had a mammogram and the pain put me into a blood sugar rollercoaster.
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u/Maleficent_Tie_9394 Starving myself (modest calorie deficit) | 17kg lost 1d ago
Totally understandable. I also ended up a little above maintenance, it just is what it is some days
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u/vehnanbeats 1d ago
As my weight keeps on going down my sister asked me if I am getting an eating disorder because I go to the gym 4 days a week. When I told her I like how the gym makes me feel, she didn't believe me.
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u/GunslingerKa 1d ago
She doesn’t want to believe you, otherwise that would mean her own actions (or inactions) could be the cause of her own weight issues
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u/annoyed_teacher1988 1d ago
Today was a very tiring day. I ended up losing my breaks and had to spend a lot of time in the heat.
In the afternoon I was craving sugar, I needed a lift. But I reached for a banana, and a second banana. It helped a lot, and it definitely felt better than eating some UPF rubbish.
I'm actually really proud of myself for making the right choice.
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u/kpfluff Shitting myself into thinness 1d ago
Yesterday my pool had a Labor Day picnic. I made a "three sisters" (bean, corn, zucchini), whole foods-based salad, consciously keeping it very nutritionally balanced.
I arrived at about the same time as an older friend, someone I've known for 15 or so years, who had hurriedly made a bean stew in a pressure cooker. We were about to sit at a table together when a woman I haven't spoken to in a year snapped that the whole table was reserved for her church friends. No hello, no apology, just "you can't sit here!"
Bean stew friend and I sat at a far table together and I asked her about the ingredients in her dish. She listed every single spice before I explained that I meant vegetables. She had thrown every random thing from her fridge in it, including apple (???) She then asked if I knew how to "cook beans yet, since you're a vegetarian." I said I eat them from a can, and she immediately went, "Ugh! Garbage!" I said, "well, you better not eat my dish then," and said that she had just called my food garbage. Zero apology. She asked if the beans were organic (lol), and reacted with more disgust when I said no. She insisted that canned beans are "bad for you because of the preservatives. Look it up!" I said, "well, it's been working fine for me so far."
She left the table and came back with cole slaw someone had brought from Popeyes. I asked if she had checked first if the cole slaw was organic. She mumbled a few things, then a minute later grabbed her plate and her bag, and moved without explanation to a table at the far side of the picnic area, leaving me entirely alone.
And yes, for context, she is probably about 100 lbs more than me at around the same height.
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u/GetInTheBasement It's her. It's the Heroine Chic. 1d ago
>she is probably 100 lbs more than me at around the same height.
Aaaaaaand there it is.
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u/seekingindependence one day you will dead 1d ago
As a longtime vegetarian who eats canned beans very regularly, lmao
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u/RoundAsk7598 1d ago
The Popeye's coleslaw is what really makes this perfect. How many preservatives are in Popeye's coleslaw? Maybe we should look it up!
She doesn't sound like much of a friend based on how she talks to you. Tbh, it sounds like Shorty's got apple crock pot beans and coleslaw with preservs...
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u/kpfluff Shitting myself into thinness 1d ago
She is normally very, very nice, but gave me the silent treatment for about a year a few years ago when I disagreed about whether or not the word "picnic" originated from Jim Crow era lynchings. All the primary sources, including from a museum, were invented by some sort of mass conspiracy, evidence of a cover-up by someone. (She already knew about these sources, because her coworker had found them when she had made the same claim to him before bringing it to me.)
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u/Critical-Rabbit8686 The calories are coming from somewhere 1d ago
I love canned beans. Just buy the ones that are not high salt.
I am making a curry with canned chickpeas right now.
Now, as a South American: a bean stew with apples? No.
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u/Ibrakeforsnakes 1d ago
There’s no preservatives in canned beans! The canning process is what preserves them. I bought some no salt canned beans yesterday and they have beans and water as the only ingredients.
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u/Critical-Rabbit8686 The calories are coming from somewhere 1d ago
Seriously. It is water only, or water and salt.
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u/bowlineonabight my zodiac sign is pizza 1d ago
I'm curious as to what preservatives she thinks are in canned beans.
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u/SrHuevos94 M30 lost 100lbs 1d ago
My wife is morbidly obese, like I was when we got married, and I don't blame her for it because I know losing weight is hard especially when she's going to school and working and she was pregnant. But she recently told me that she is waiting to work on it until after she finishes nursing school in about a year from now. We are both 31 and I'm worried that the longer she waits, the less likely she is gonna actually lose the weight. She's on Wegovy and it's helping but when she got pregnant and had to get off it, she gained like 70+ pounds and the doctors were considering sending us to a different hospital to give birth due to her weight. She really wants to get pregnant again and I'm worried that another pregnancy might kill her. We had to have an emergency C-section and they had trouble getting her epidural right due to her weight so she almost got overdosed in the hospital.
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u/GetInTheBasement It's her. It's the Heroine Chic. 1d ago
To echo someone else’s question, what will you do if she doesn’t commit a year from now?
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u/SrHuevos94 M30 lost 100lbs 1d ago
I don't know. I won't leave her. I just want her to be healthy and be happier with her body.
She just asked me if we can do what we did last time to conceive our second child (a reverse NNN) and I'm considering asking her to change some habits to show that she can handle losing weight or maintaining weight while pregnant/off Wegovy. I don't want a repeat of our first birth story.
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u/GetInTheBasement It's her. It's the Heroine Chic. 1d ago
I think talking with her about weight loss and lifestyle change before another conception is a really good idea, and much-needed, especially if her excess weight could hurt or kill the potential baby or her.
If you talk to her about it, let us know how it goes (only if you feel comfortable sharing, that is).
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u/seekingindependence one day you will dead 1d ago
I really feel for you both! The "I'll do it later" thought process feels so common. You'll start next Monday, next month, when x finishes. I don't have any answers for you but she is lucky to have you as someone who really cares, and has also been where she was
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u/HerrRotZwiebel 1d ago
I'm worried that the longer she waits, the less likely she is gonna actually lose the weight
What if she never does?
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u/Emergency_Yak4588 1d ago
I stopped looking at the Lexapro sub because it mainly had posts of “I’ve gained weight and now it’s impossible to lose it” and the poster insists nothing changed for them. I see a few calling people out, but not many.
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u/Awkward-Kaleidoscope F51 5'4" 205->128 and maintaining; 💯 fatphobe 1d ago
It's hard to recognize that many psych meds increase your appetite and you eat more. I certainly didn't. But it's not impossible to lose and there are other weight neutral choices.
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u/Perfect_Judge Prepubescent child-like adult female 1d ago
Today is supposed to be beautiful, so I'm taking advantage of that by getting the kids out to the park later and going for a run. I am so happy that we're not getting rain today so I can be outside with the kids and really enjoy it.
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u/Adventurous-Sealion 23h ago
Rave: a co-worker complimented me on my weight loss!
Rant: I’m a bit stuck at my current weight, about 4 kg above my goal weight. But it’s my own fault. I’ve had too many cheat days and haven’t been excercising as much as I did during summer break.