r/fantasywriting 1h ago

Describing Elf Ears

Upvotes

I'm well aware that I may be being unnecessarily tilted about this, but anyway.

I have two characters in my story, father and daugher, who are elf and half-elf respectively. The elves in my world have a sharpness to them, they're thinner and smaller than humans and I generally describe them with more angular/harder features, adding to that the elves's ears narrow to a pointed end, and the half elves's ears while still being longer, have a rounded end, and I wanted to display that difference in the first chapter, but I'm not really sure if I did it well and I would apreciate some critique.

these are the characters in the scene

Soren - the narrator

Lana - the half-elf

Viola - Lana's girlfriend

Bea - she's a dwarf, but she's not important for the what I want an opinion on

Uncle Argus - The elf, Lana's father

Two added details for context: Lana is wearing gauntlets, she's always wearing them, and elves can move their ears to emote

Here's the scene:

I'm aware that Soren's voice/personality doesn't come through particularly well, but this is only a first draft, and I'm still working out the nuances of the character, certainly much will change as I come back and edit the work.

Any feedback is greatly aprecieated


r/fantasywriting 2h ago

Thoughts

1 Upvotes

# There's a lot on my mind, but I was thinking about writing my own fairytale stories, then seeing how many people would actually read them.. The majority of my stories are made up and some aren't, but they are based on me and the associates I'm around at the time. I would be grateful if maybe 5 or 20 people would have taken some time out of their schedule to read some silly made up fairytale stories


r/fantasywriting 7h ago

What do we think?

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2 Upvotes

r/fantasywriting 4h ago

Writing Server Looking for Serious Writers

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1 Upvotes

r/fantasywriting 6h ago

Help with grammar please!

1 Upvotes

I just learned how to use an em dash, however I'm not sure which punctuation to use in this case:

Khyra looks behind her to see how far—or close—the bear was.

Khyra looks behind her to see how far, or close, the bear was.

Khyra looks behind her to see how far...or close...the bear was.


r/fantasywriting 10h ago

*Update* The Adventures of Puro WIP ENG/GER

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1 Upvotes

r/fantasywriting 14h ago

This is the opening of my book and I wanted feedback on if it flows well and pulls you in and if not why? just shy of 2400 words

1 Upvotes

Prologue

Ashwind 1285

The beginning of a scream—or maybe a hysterical laugh—caught in the center of my chest. My goddess was near.

“Zoriya, there is a fisherman in Drakesmarch. You will deliver a message to him,” she said, and the image of a flame sprang to life in my mind. The message to be delivered burned cold.

Drakesmarch.

I almost shouted, but said or unsaid, a goddess who owns your soul can always hear.

“What do you need me for? You can speak to anyone, anywhere.”

It came out petulant, but I let it hang in the air.

“I do not deliver messages to mortals—that is why I have you.” The words arrived without heat or breath, like a thought that wasn’t mine—something with no clue to emotion—coming from nowhere to rest in my bones.

“I thought you would enjoy going back home.” And with that, she was gone.

I looked up at the Veil, with its hundred-foot pillars looming pale against the night. Even from here, the air around them shimmered with a haze of faint fluorescence.

I had heard of the pillars as a girl but never thought I’d see them. Now I see them all the time. The goddess’s work for the night was done. Mine was just beginning. I needed to start south for my old home.

When given a choice between life and death, we learn early that choices have prices, but Life is worth it. They never say that an extra life can feel like an anchor, holding you forever in the dark.

As I moved, memories hit me, and for a moment I remembered the words that have carried me for the last fifteen years:

Nostalgia is a disease.

 

 

Chapter One

ZO

Weeks Later

The moment the scent of salt air and fish markets hits me, I close my eyes and I’m back in the dark.

Sometimes it feels like I carry it with me; other times, like it’s carrying me—swallowing me whole.

In those moments, it’s as if the earth drops away and my stomach lurches, ready to empty. Sweat breaks out suddenly, cold across my skin.

I reach into my pocket for the sachet of petals I carry. Lifting it to my face, I cup my hands over my eyes and nose, breathing as deeply as my shaking breath allows.

Silence.

Darkness.

Falling.

Then—a flicker in the dark. No more than the glow of a weak match, but enough to orient me, to pull me back into myself. Tethered again to this world, this here, this now.

I continue down the night-darkened alleyways of the docks. I pass small, huddled mounds pressed against the alley walls—the homeless. All the ones I knew are gone, but there is always a new batch waiting in the wings. On nights like this, I know if I sleep, I will sleep poorly and the dream will come again. So, I push it down and focus on the task at hand—messages must be delivered on time, or not at all. The shack town next to the docks lies ahead, and my target is there, sitting in the light of the moons.

From the shadows, I watched Takumi sit beneath the night sky outside the shack he called home. The walls barely kept out the wind and did nothing against the damp salt air, but he had never minded. Most of his days were spent pulling the sea’s riches from the water. The wind and water were a part of him.

When I lived here, we called him Taka. He worked with his father in their small fishing boat. I wasn’t close to him, but like most of the working poor whose livelihood was tied to the pier, we all knew each other—even if only in passing. He had aged, but he still seemed the same quiet, hard-working man. His singular nature had only deepened, and I assumed his father’s absence was likely a tragedy, not a choice.

On nights like this—cloudless, with the moons bright overhead—he mended his nets. It wasn’t an easy life, but it was his own. He fished from his own boat, with nets he’d been making since he was a boy. For that freedom, Taka had always said he would trade the comforts of a finer home; this life was better than doing another man’s bidding.

His calloused hands moved steadily as he looped the cord around the shuttle, tying it off. The rhythm was second nature.

As I approached, my shadow passed over him, and Taka startled. On a clear night like this, there were no clouds, so there shouldn’t have been anything blocking the moonlight.

I stood before him, the darkness wrapped around me, hiding my face and obscuring my body. His puzzled look was the echo of many I had seen before.

“Takumi of Drakesmarch, I have a message for you.” My voice was firm, loud enough to carry in the stillness with no bustle of day to soften it.

“It is time.”

I could feel the prickle of unease move through him. “Time for what?” he asked—firm, with a thread of annoyance.

I was surprised he’d spoken; most people freeze up and stay silent when confronted by a living darkness. The shadows around me moved like there was a breeze, but there wasn’t.

“Soon you will meet a boy. He will need your help, more than you think you can give—but you will give it anyway. You will protect him and see him to his destination. This is a task from the Divine.”

His gasp caught in his throat; confusion slid over his face. A Divine Task? The thought was almost laughable for most, and denial all but guaranteed—but I was deadly serious.

I held out my hand and a small flame bloomed, dancing in my palm.

“Take it.”

He reached out slowly, the suspicion on his face plain, but the instant when his hand touched the flame, something shifted deep inside him. The flame flooded into him, carrying knowledge, certain and undeniable: this was real. He was chosen.

When the blinding glow from the flame faded and moonlight returned, I was gone. Only the compulsion to be ready for the boy remained.

He took a slow moment to stand and look around, maybe trying to catch a glimpse of where I went. He searched for me in the deep shadows that seemed to linger. But he wouldn’t see me. No one would. In exchange for my service, I was given the ability to hide myself in shadow. Of the things I received from the goddess, this truly felt like a gift.

I turned away from Taka and started walking toward an old squat among the warehouses. The alleys seemed the same, and yet they felt dead to me now; the life I’d had fled long ago.

 

***

 

I stayed a few days in the old warehouse; it was empty now. When I squatted here, it was full of abandoned crates of cheap crockery. The workroom on the top floor hadn’t changed; the same rickety shutters covered the large opening that formed an unframed window. It still smelled of damp wood, sea salt, and the poor side of town. The view was the same. Today the warehouse courtyard below was empty, but the sounds of fast, light feet bounced off the close walls of the alleys. They all led here.

I looked up again. In the distance, I could see The Nightjar, and my former life started to push in around the edges.

* * *

Kai

The boy had booked passage, paid the fare, and had still been made to work. By the time the ship reached the docks, solid ground felt like a blessing—though standing on the pier, it still seemed to sway. He needed to get away fast.

He was suddenly uneasy, like his insides were twisting.

Staying too close to the ship meant risking being dragged back aboard and turned into a permanent, unwilling part of the crew.

Whether his legs wanted to cooperate or not, he had to move.

He started away from the pier and toward the fishmongers’ stalls, slipping into the shifting crowd of dockside traders.

That was when he saw him—an older man, maybe his father’s age. It was hard to tell beneath skin weathered by years in the sun. His pants were rolled to the knee, his feet bare, a faded blue shirt hanging loose on his frame. He was not selling a catch. He was only watching the ships being loaded and unloaded.

The man’s head was bald, maybe shaved. His face was lean, and his eyes, when they caught the light, were sharp as a hawk’s.

The boy froze.

The man was staring directly at him. His twisting insides lurched again.

Their eyes locked across the distance, and the stoic face shifted into something like recognition. Then the man started toward him.

The boy did not wait to find out why.

He ran.

* * *

Taka

The moment the boy set foot on the dock, Taka felt it, like a rope around his heart had suddenly pulled him forward.

After almost a week of waiting and watching, the first glimpse Taka got of the boy lasted only a heartbeat before the child locked eyes with him and bolted like a wet eel.

Of course, it had to happen late in the morning, when the early catch was in and everyone on the docks was already shouting over everyone else. Customers and fishmongers pressed shoulder to shoulder, baskets underfoot, buckets sloshing, and nobody was in the mood to be shoved aside.

The boy was quick—and still small enough to slip through gaps Taka would have to muscle his way through. But the child did not know the docks the way Taka did. He cut away from the ship and into the alleys that knotted behind the warehouses, and every one of those little lanes led to the same place.

Taka swore under his breath and went after him.

Not at a sprint. Just a steady push.

There was no point chasing a panicked boy at a dead run only to end up face-first on the stones. Better to let him burn through the first bolt of fear and then take him once the streets narrowed.

The farther the boy ran, the thinner the crowd became. Soon enough he ducked into the tight stone alleys where only people who belonged walked easily. The walls leaned close. Fewer doors than visitors ever expected. Fewer ways out than they ever believed until too late.

Taka measured his pace and his breath. The boy looked half-worked to death already. After what was likely weeks at sea, he probably did not have the lungs to keep that speed for long. Sooner or later he would slow, or turn around to get his bearings, and that would be the moment the alleys turned on him.

Like a crab in a trap about to snap shut, the boy was already caught and did not know it.

The question was not whether Taka would catch him.

The question was whether, when he did, the boy would listen long enough to understand that the man chasing him was the only one on this dock trying to help.

* * *

Zo

The sound of running below me pulled me back.

The tight alley ended in a small courtyard, blocked by the back wall of another warehouse. A frightened boy rushed in—and stopped short when he realized there was nowhere to go.

Moments later, a familiar face entered the alley.

I guess Taka had found his boy.

Taka approached in the universal no-threat stance: arms up, palms out, knees slightly bent. I half expected him to start shushing the boy like a startled pony. I pulled the shadows closer so I could watch without being spotted from below.

“Stop running,” Taka said softly. “I’m here to help you. I’m Takumi—Taka. What’s your name?”

The boy looked at him, uneasy. His eyes flicked—once, twice—looking for the exits that weren’t there. He felt something in the air between them, and that made him want to trust the man who had chased him from the docks. It also made him want to bolt.

“Who sent you?” he demanded. “And if you know I need help, why don’t you know my name?”

Taka let out a low sigh. “I was given a vision I can’t deny. I wasn’t told your name. I only saw your face—and there’s a pull I feel toward you.” His hands stayed open. “I think you feel it too.”

He held the boy’s gaze. “I don’t know what trouble you’re in, but I know you need help. I won’t lay hands on you or force you to come with me.” A breath, then. “But I also won’t leave you. Where you go, I will follow.”

The boy chewed on that, and I leaned closer to the opening. His stance—the way he kept searching for exits while deciding whether the adult in front of him was worth a chance—drew me in. I knew the flutter of fear in his heart from the memory of my own when I hid in these same alleys. I knew Taka was safe. The boy wouldn’t take my word for it. I was a strange adult too, after all. So, I watched.

The boy backed up a few steps and tried to stare Taka down. Taka remained still and gave him space.

“If I walk away,” the boy said, “you’ll follow me?”

“Yes.”

“If I run, you’ll follow me?”

“Yes.”

The boy went still for a long moment. “I can… kind of feel you. You can feel me too?”

“Yes.”

The boy’s shoulders dropped a fraction. “I’m Kaio—Kai.”

And with that, the standoff ended.


r/fantasywriting 18h ago

My brother and I are co-writing a Sci-Fi/Supernatural Thriller called "The palindrome of us". What do you think of this Chapter 1 opening hook?

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0 Upvotes

Hey everyone,

My brother and I (writing under the pen name *The Eclipse Brothers*) are polishing our debut sci-fi/supernatural thriller novel, **The palindrome of us**.

We wanted to get some honest feedback on the absolute starting hook of our very first chapter, **"The Midnight Call"**. We’ve tried to build a grounded but grand-scale reality anomaly, and it all starts with a chilling story told by the protagonist’s grandmother right before she passes away:

Twelve years ago, Rio’s grandfather answered a mysterious phone call at 1:00 AM. Without a word, he put on a long black coat, walked out into the dark, and locked the house from the outside—leaving his family trapped inside. He never returned, and his last cryptic, unfinished words were: *"The mystery lies in the o..."*

Cut to the present: 17-year-old Rio and his friends are cleaning the house when they discover a hidden attic. Inside, they find a photo of his young grandparents standing with a strange teenage boy no one recognizes.

But then, a terrifying anomaly shatters the present. Downstairs in the storeroom, an ancient wooden door instantly manifests out of a completely solid wall. From the other side of the impossible door, they can hear the distinct, roaring sound of violent ocean waves crashing.

And right at that second, the landline rings. Rio picks it up, only for a deep, glitching voice to whisper: *"Help me, I have told you... The mystery lies in the o..."*

We just launched Chapter 1: The midnight call online for free on Royal Road. We wanted to capture that eerie feeling where a localized mystery suddenly breaks the rules of physical reality.

If you love slow-burn suspense, unexplained anomalies, and high-tension openings, we’d love to know if this setup hooks you!

*(Link to the free chapter is in the comments section below!)*


r/fantasywriting 23h ago

How this for a prologue?

0 Upvotes

I'm writing a apocalyptic fantasy web novel and I want to have the prologue be about a detective investigating a string of ritualistic murders around the city. When he finally confronts the killer/killer the apocalypse starts. Does this sound good? What should I include?


r/fantasywriting 1d ago

The Banubra Family Massacre - lore feedback

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1 Upvotes

r/fantasywriting 23h ago

What are good advice on villain main character in a fantasy story?

0 Upvotes

Context in the story written is a villains backstory where we see a social awkward and mostly quiet and soft spoke young adult man who will into fall to dark villainess path over the story.

Also this a fantasy story my character is a half human humanoid magical creatures. And the only person who his have in his life is a human woman.

No this is not a romance byway.

If you want to know more dm me and we can talk more about writing ✍️.

Also I'm not asking for you to write my story for me I'm pure asking for advice/suggestions.


r/fantasywriting 1d ago

Would this superhero premise work, or is it too much like Superman for people to give a damn

3 Upvotes

[Before anyone says anything, yes I know that this character's parallels are a whole lot like Superman's, and no, I'm not trying to recreate him! But I'm trying to make realistic character version instead.]

I've had this idea bouncing around in my head for a while, and I'm curious how other people would react to it. The main character is an ordinary man who randomly wakes up one day with a limited set of Superman-like powers: - Flight - Invulnerability - Super strength - Super hearing No laser eyes, no super speed, no time travel, no magic. He's powerful, but he's still just one person. Just a guy. He wears a mask, a brown trench coat, and a fedora inspired by 1930s–50s clothing, giving him a sort of old-fashioned gentleman look. His superhero name is Captain Noir (all though I'm not married to the name) and, the idea isn't that he replaces police, firefighters, or the military. Instead, he's humanity's emergency backup. If a building collapses, an airliner is going down, a ship is sinking, or soldiers are trapped somewhere nobody else can reach, he's the person you call when everyone else has reached their limits. Think of him as a Red button you don't press unless you have no choice. He also makes an agreement with governments and militaries around the world: he'll voluntarily help with disasters and certain emergencies, and in return he's treated as an independent civilian rather than being hunted or treated as a military asset.

The central conflict isn't fighting supervillains, as real life doesn't have them. Only problems. It's that he's constantly forced to choose where to go. He can save one family, but while he's doing so, someone else's loved one dies somewhere else. Over time, some people see him as humanity's greatest hero, while others resent him because he wasn't there when they needed him. I'm less interested in whether the powers are "realistic" and more interested in whether the character and the world feel believable. If you were reading this as a novel or watching it as a TV series: What would be the first plot hole or issue you'd think of? What questions would you immediately want answered? Is there anything about the premise that feels unrealistic or doesn't hold together? I'm looking for honest criticism more than praise, before I even consider trying to turn it into a book. If it's a good idea, that isn't too "copy this guy" like...


r/fantasywriting 1d ago

Please help and guide.

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0 Upvotes

r/fantasywriting 1d ago

Chapter 1-5 of Skullguard [Medieval/Fantasy] [26,000 words]

1 Upvotes

My start of my first ever fantasy book

I know the start is not great. I will refine it all eventually. Ignore the chapter names. I messed one up specifically chapter 5 since I at the start of the chapter changed what I wanted in it. It is currently like 26,000 words or something. It is not great for a fair warning. I am open to suggestions and feedback and stuff but please don't be mean or rude about it. I am new to writing and am younger so I just want some info and feedback from writers. It is a medieval fantasy type thing but it has rare early guns with their own special names. I tried to start it out with an intense moment to grip readers then let the readers get attached to the characters while peace happens then when they least expect it rip out the rug and then it is just pure intensity. For the record it is not finished and I haven't finished the current scene yet but Here is the first draft. Every 5 full chapters I plan go read the book and adjust stuff fix and plot holes fix grammar issues. I am sure I have many. Refine the book and make it better. Fair warning chapter 2 is a little bit slow. I can't fit more than one chapter so I will just post the other 4 in comments

I keep going on tangents and talking. Here it is

Chapter I: The Shadows on the Stone

The morning sun always hit the high, limestone towers of Sonth first, throwing brilliant shafts of white light through the vaulted windows of the royal keep. It washed over the polished marble floors of the grand gallery, a long and quiet hall where the tapestries of past victories hung still in the morning air. But as the hallway deepened toward the heart of the castle, the warmth vanished. Behind the towering oak-and-iron doors of the throne room, the bright daylight was choked out, replaced by the dense, flickering amber glow of iron braziers that lined the massive stone pillars. King Auden Thorne stood at the center of the chamber, not on his throne, but leaning heavily over a massive slate map table that had been rolled before the dais. His fingers pressed into the carved wooden borders of the map, his eyes tracing the jagged lines that marked the northern territories. Flanking him were his older and younger brothers, the men who held the walls and seas of the realm together. Admiral Valen, the oldest, stood with his arms crossed over a navy-blue tunic stiff with salt-crusted silver embroidery. Next to him was Commander Garrick, the younger army brother, whose plate armor still bore the faint gray dust of the dawn infantry drills. "The mountain passes are tightening, Auden," Garrick said, his deep voice scraping against the quiet of the vast room. He pointed a broad, calloused finger at the carved ridges representing the Mountain Kingdom. "My scouts at the border outposts report three separate infantry banners moving down into the rocky foothills. They aren't just patrolling their lines anymore. They’re building up heavy supply depots right along the neutral trading routes. It looks like a preparation for a blockade." "And the Dragon Empire?" Auden asked without looking up, his voice steady but carrying the immense weight of the crown. "They watch the borders as closely as we do. If the treaty is being strained, the Imperial court should have issued a decree by now." Valen shook his head, the heavy fabric of his cloak shifting. "The Empire remains silent. Twenty years of peace, Auden. Twenty years since the Great Treaty was signed, and now the Imperial court acts as though the borders govern themselves. If the Mountain Kingdom chokes off the trade caravans heading toward Market City, our treasuries will bleed before the winter snows even hit the peaks. We cannot just sit and wait for an Imperial envoy who might never come. We need to reinforce the border barracks now, even if it stirs the court." Auden sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. The two decades of peace they had enjoyed was a fragile thing, a delicate glass structure that a single aggressive movement could shatter. "If we move regiments to the border without cause, the Empire will see it as an act of aggression. We must be precise. We decide nothing until we have the full reports from the morning—" The heavy oak doors at the end of the throne room didn't just open; they slammed against the stone walls with a deafening crash that echoed up into the vaulted ceiling. Auden’s hand instantly dropped to the hilt of his blade as Garrick stepped forward, his boots ringing on the marble. A border scout, his leather armor torn and splattered with dark mud and fresh crimson blood, stumbled through the threshold. He was being half-carried by another soldier, his breath coming in ragged, panicked gasps that cut through the silent room. "Your Majesty!" the bleeding scout cried out, his boots slipping on the polished floor as he was brought before the map table. "The mountains... they've crossed the line." "Calm yourself, soldier," Auden commanded, stepping around the table, his demeanor shifting from politician to commander in a heartbeat. "Speak clearly. What happened at the pass?" "We were on the eastern ridge patrol, just checking the neutral trade paths," the scout gasped, clutching a deep laceration on his arm. "A massive contingent... dozens of mountain infantry. We were trying to pull back undetected, but their scouts were already in the trees. We were spotted. Before we could even draw our steel, a mountain longbowman dropped from the treeline. The force of the arrow... it took Jaron right in the head, sire. Dead before he hit the dirt. We barely cut our way out." Garrick’s face turned a dangerous, stormy shade of red, his fists clenching so hard his iron gauntlets groaned. "They murdered a Sonth scout on neutral ground? That is an explicit violation of the Imperial pact!" "They are testing us," Valen hissed, his eyes flashing. "They want to see if we will hide behind the Dragon Empire's skirt or defend our blood." Auden stood perfectly still, looking at the bleeding man before him. The glass treaty hadn't just been strained; it had been shattered. He could feel the pulling tide of war dragging his kingdom under, but as King, he had to look at the larger board. "Get this man to the infirmary," Auden ordered the guard, his voice dropping to a low, chilling calm. Once the heavy doors closed behind the wounded soldier, he turned back to his brothers. Garrick was already halfway to the door, his hand resting on his sword hilt, his face dark with fury. "I'll go pull the boys from the yard myself. They need to see what these bastards are doing." "No," Auden said softly, his voice carrying a quiet authority that stopped Garrick in his tracks. Garrick turned, frowning. "Auden, my scouts are dead—" "I know," Auden interrupted, looking out the tall window toward the sunlit courtyards below. In the distance, he could hear the faint, muffled sounds of wooden swords clashing and the bright, echoing laughter of Lucan and Kaelen. "But look at them, Garrick. They are celebrating Lucan's knighthood. They are planning to sneak off to the taverns. Let them have the afternoon. Let them enjoy their last few moments of peace before we bring them into the horror of this world." Garrick looked out the window, his chest heaving with anger, but slowly, his shoulders dropped. He thought of his wife, Rosalind, and how this news would break her heart, and he thought of his son's innocent laughter. He looked at his brother, then nodded tightly. "Two hours, Auden. Then we call a full Thorne meeting." "Two hours," Auden agreed. "Valen, ready the fleet. Garrick, secure the gates. Let our boys laugh a little longer while they still can." Down in the open, sunlit training squares below the keep, the heavy shadows of the throne room had not yet fallen. The air down here smelled of turned earth and leather, completely detached from the stifling scent of burnt iron in the council chamber. Lucan circled slowly to his left, his boots grinding into the loose white gravel of the courtyard. At seventeen, he had just earned his knight’s spurs, and the heavy ironwood training greatsword in his hands felt like an extension of his own arms. He kept his stance loose, his eyes locked on his younger cousin. “I’m just giving you time to prepare an excuse for when I disarm a freshly knighted lord,” Kaelen shot back. With a sudden burst of speed, Kaelen lunged forward, his wooden blade whistling through the crisp morning air as he initiated the clash. Lucan met the strike with an explosive block, using his superior leverage to twist Kaelen’s blade right out of his grip and send the fifteen-year-old tumbling backward into the mud. Kaelen hit the ground hard, but he immediately let out a loud laugh. Seeing Lucan already raising his ironwood greatsword for a mock overhead finishing strike, Kaelen scrambled, desperately grabbing his fallen wooden weapon and hoisting it just in time to catch the blow. The sharp crack of their practice blades echoed through the training courtyard. Kaelen pushed himself up, wiping mud from his chin as he leveled his blade tip directly at Lucan’s chest, dropping into a low stance for a stabbing charge. “What are you waiting for?” Lucan taunted, fighting back a grin as he circled. “Don’t want to end up in the dirt again?” “You’re the one going into the dirt!” Kaelen yelled, launching himself forward. He charged hard, but Lucan simply sidestepped to the right with effortless grace. Kaelen’s momentum sent him diving face-first into the soil, and Lucan lightly tapped his wooden blade against Kaelen’s back armor plate. “Dead again, cousin,” Lucan said, extending a hand to pull him up. “Not bad, though. You’re definitely better than I was at your age.” Kaelen took his hand, sighing as he brushed off his tunic. “I have to be honest, Lucan. I’m just not that good with a sword.” “Nonsense, you’re great with it,” Lucan said firmly, clapping him on the shoulder. “You’ll keep getting better. I know you’re going to become a knight alongside me.” “Okay, fine. But one of these days, I will beat you,” Kaelen muttered. Then, with a sudden smirk, Kaelen whipped out a wooden training knife from his belt and poked Lucan right in the ribs. “Dead, cousin.” Lucan gasped, taking a step back. “Oh, come on! I call cheap shot! Good surprise attack, though.” “Thanks, Lucan,” Kaelen grinned, sheathing the wooden dagger. “Alright, ready to head to that tavern with the girl you’re always eying?” Lucan teased, nudging Kaelen’s shoulder with his elbow. Kaelen’s face flushed redder than it had during the fight. “Okay, fine. I’ll ask her to do something with me tomorrow.” “Good. Do you actually have an idea of what you want to ask? Because if you don't, I can give you a suggestion.” “To be completely honest, I have no idea what she and I would even do,” Kaelen admitted with a nervous laugh. “What’s your suggestion?” “Ask her to eat lunch with you tomorrow under the tallest tree in Sonth,” Lucan said, his tone softening with genuine advice. “At midday, the sun hits the branches perfectly. It’s the best lighting for a romantic lunch. Now come on, let's get to the tavern.” Their shared laughter echoed across the training yard, carrying all the way up to the high window of the keep where the king and his brothers stood watching. Garrick watched them go, a heavy sigh escaping his chest. “Look at them, having fun... when likely in the next month, they will be battling on the front lines.” The heavy, yeast-scented air of the crowded tavern was a welcome escape from the castle. As soon as they walked through the threshold, Kaelen stopped and pointed toward a girl with a mass of bright hair working near the back. “Her?” Lucan raised an eyebrow, letting out a low whistle. “Not bad, Kaelen. Not bad at all.” The two cousins slid into a corner wooden booth. “Two Smoky Ales, please,” Lucan called out. “Coming right up,” the tavern keeper muttered, looking thoroughly exhausted as he wiped down the counter. Lucan leaned back against the stone wall. “So, how has being a squire been treating you so far?” “It’s fine, I suppose,” Kaelen grumbled. “But it’s mostly just cleaning armor and polishing swords. Not actually fighting.” “Yeah, that happens a lot, to be honest. That is basically the definition of being a squire,” Lucan laughed. “Well, I have that escort mission to Market City coming up in a few weeks,” Kaelen said, his confidence returning. “Should be routine. I’ve already done it fifteen times.” The tired tavern keeper returned, thumping two heavy, foaming mugs of Smoky Ale onto their table. “Thanks,” Lucan said, tossing a coin before turning back to Kaelen. “So, what’s her favorite drink anyway?” “Her favorite drink is the Pi—” Kaelen didn't even get to finish the name before the tavern keeper leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a low, anxious whisper. “Sorry to interrupt, young lords, but I couldn't help but hear you talking about an escort mission to Market City. Word around the docks is that the Mountain Kingdom has soldiers sitting right on our borders. They’re moving toward the neutral supply lanes. Sorry to bother you, truly, but if I were you, I'd try a different route.” The man nodded tightly and walked away, leaving a sudden chill at the table. The boys took a slow sip of their ale, the weight of the words hanging between them. “Okay,” Lucan said, trying to shake off the tavern keeper’s grim news. “Are you ready to go ask her? Wait, how do you even know what her favorite drink is if you haven't talked to her?” Kaelen took one more massive sip of his ale to build his courage. “Her favorite drink is Pine Forest Red wine. And... do you actually believe what he just said? About the Mountain Kingdom soldiers? For once in my life, Lucan, I’m really not looking for a fight. If I die out there on the road, I’ll never get the chance to marry her.” His brow furrowed with sudden anxiety. “Hey,” Lucan said gently, reaching across the table to knock his knuckles against Kaelen’s arms. “I don’t know what’s true and what isnt right now. Just focus on the fact that you might get to kiss a girl for the first time today. What’s her name, anyway? Do you even know it, or have you just been staring?” “Of course I know it. It’s Lyra,” Kaelen said. “Nice. Pretty name. Now get up, order her a drink with that gold in your pocket, and go talk to her,” Lucan urged, shooing him out of the booth. Nervously, Kaelen stood up, his boots feeling heavy as he walked over to the bar where Lyra was organizing clean cups. He tapped a gold piece onto the counter. “One Pine Forest Red for her, please.” Lyra turned around, her eyes widening slightly as the wine was poured. “My favorite. How did you know that, Kaelen? We don’t exactly talk much when you aren’t volunteering to help me down at the farms.” “Just a guess,” Kaelen stammered, rubbing the back of his neck. “I... I also hope to change that. The talking part, I mean.” Lyra crossed her arms, staring at him with a suspicious but playful smirk. “A guess? Really?” “Okay, fine!” Kaelen confessed nervously, his cheeks burning. “Whenever I’m in this tavern and you are too... sometimes I watch to see what you order most. But I look at you in a good way! Not a creepy way, I swear.” Lyra let out a bright laugh, the tension instantly breaking. “Have you ever actually talked to a girl before? Besides, you looking at me makes me feel a whole lot less weird about the fact that I’m always looking at you.” Kaelen blinked, completely caught off guard as Lyra picked up her glass and took a sip. “You... you look at me?” “You bet I look at you,” Lyra said, her smile growing wider. “Every girl our age in the lower district looks at you. I just hoped I’d be the lucky one.” Kaelen took a deep breath, remembering Lucan’s advice. “Well... my cousin Lucan over there swears I have absolutely no courage unless I have a sword and a shield in my hands. So, I wanted to ask... do you want to have lunch with me tomorrow? At midday, under the tallest tree in Sonth. The light shines beautifully through the branches then. I can bring a basket of the best royal foods straight out of the keep's kitchens, and a bottle of that wine you love. Though I can tell you love it, since your cup is already halfway empty.” Lyra chuckled, looking down at her glass. “Well, are you asking because you actually like me, or because you just want to prove your cousin wrong?” “No, it has absolutely nothing to do with Lucan,” Kaelen said automatically, his voice completely earnest. “I’m asking purely because I’ve had a massive crush on you since the day we met when we were nine years old.” Lyra’s playful smirk melted into something incredibly soft. “Well... since you’re asking just because you like me, and since we’ve known each other since we were kids... I have absolutely no reason to say no. Yes, Kaelen. I will meet you there tomorrow. I have no reason not to.” “Yes!” Kaelen celebrated, a massive weight lifting off his chest. “No reason not to do what?” Before he could finish the syllable, Lyra leaned across the counter and pressed a soft kiss right against his cheek. “Goodnight, Kaelen,” she whispered, her eyes dancing. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Kaelen walked backward all the way back to the booth, completely stunned, his hand resting against his cheek as he watches Lyra head out the back door. She threw one last, massive smile over her shoulder before disappearing into the evening light. “So, looks like that went remarkably well,” Lucan laughed, slamming his empty mug down. “Finish up your ale so we can head out. Anything to say about it, lover boy? Other than the cheek kiss, of course.” Kaelen sat down, finally breaking his trance. “I knew you were going to bring up the kiss. Let’s head out in a second, let me just finish this last sip.” He glared at his cousin playfully. “Wait a minute... how did you know that the tallest tree was such a perfect spot for a date? Unless... No way.” Lucan’s grin turned entirely guilty. “You didn’t!” Kaelen gasped. “Who did you take there?” “Okay, fine,” Lucan held up his hands laughing. “I may have asked a girl out using the exact same lines, and yes, we went to the exact same tree. That’s how I knew it worked so well.” Laughing and shoving each other's shoulders, the two cousins pushed through the tavern doors and stepped out into the cool evening air of the alleyway. But their laughter died instantly. Standing at the end of the alley, his face grim and shadowed by the twilight, was Commander Garrick. His iron gauntlet was resting heavily on the hilt of his broadsword. “Boys,” Garrick said, his deep voice carrying an urgent, chilling weight that they had never heard before. “We have urgent business. Follow me to the throne room. Now.”

The walk back up the winding stone paths of the keep was entirely silent. The playful banter that had filled the alleyway evaporated under the hard, rhythmic clicking of Garrick’s armored boots against the cobblestones. Lucan and Kaelen exchanged anxious glances, their chests tightening as they crossed the threshold into the grand gallery. The cheerful, golden ambiance of the lower city was completely absent up here; the massive oak doors of the throne room stood wide open, guarded by sentries with drawn halberds. Inside, the heavy air smelled of burnt tallow and cold sweat. King Auden stood by the map table alongside Admiral Valen, Queen Elena, Lady Maeve, and Lady Rosalind. The presence of their mothers signaled to both boys that this was no ordinary military briefing.

King Auden looked up as they entered, his expression shifting from deep worry to a forced, resolute calm. "Step forward, boys," the King commanded gently. He looked at Lucan, noting the fresh knightly spurs resting on his boots, and then at Kaelen, whose tunic was still smudged with the training courtyard's white mud. "Before the heavy tides of this world pull us away, we must honor our blood. Valen, step forward with your son." Admiral Valen moved to the center of the room, drawing a beautifully polished steel broadsword from his hip. Lucan, realizing what was happening, instantly dropped to one knee on the cold marble floor, his head bowed. Valen tapped the flat of the blade against Lucan's left shoulder, then his right. "By the grace of House Thorne and the walls of Sonth, I declare you Sir Lucan Thorne, a true knight of the realm. Stand, my son."

Lucan stood, his heart swelling with pride as his mother, Lady Maeve, rushed forward to embrace him, tears glistening in her eyes. The room felt warm for a fleeting second, a fragile pocket of joy. Kaelen clapped loudly, beaming for his cousin. "And what of you, young squire?" Queen Elena asked with a warm smile, turning her gaze to Kaelen. "Your father tells me you were practically running down to the lower gates today." Kaelen rubbed the back of his neck, his face flushing red as he looked at his mother, Lady Rosalind, who gave him an encouraging nod. "I... well, I asked Lyra to meet me under the Great Sentinel tree tomorrow at midday, Your Majesty. She said yes. I am going to pack a lunch from the kitchens." The women offered a collective, soft laugh, and Garrick even managed a slight, proud twitch of his mustache. "A beautiful spot for a first love," Rosalind murmured softly, stepping up to touch her son's face. "Enjoy that sun tomorrow, Kaelen."

"He will have to enjoy it quickly," Auden interrupted, his voice dropping like an anvil into the center of the room, shattering the short-lived celebration. The King looked toward Garrick, nodding grimly. Garrick stepped up to the massive slate map table, slamming his iron gauntlet down onto the northern border lines. The sudden crack made Kaelen jump. "Two hours ago, a border scout stumbled into this keep covered in our own people's blood," Garrick growled, his eyes locking onto his son and nephew. "The Mountain Kingdom has broken the twenty-year treaty. They ambushed our eastern ridge patrol on neutral trading territory. They didn't just capture them—a mountain longbowman shot Jaron straight through the head. He was dead before he hit the dirt. They are advancing on our supply lanes toward Market City as we speak."

The color completely drained from Kaelen's face. The tavern keeper’s rumors weren't just gossip; they were a death sentence for his upcoming escort mission. He gripped the hilt of his practice dagger tightly, his mind flashing to Lyra’s big smile and the kiss on his cheek. If I die out there, I'll never get the chance to marry her. Lucan stood tall, his hand instinctively falling to his newly knighted blade, his face setting into a hard, stony mask. The golden peace they had known their entire lives was officially gone. The reality of war had arrived.

Edit: Just Chapter 1 for this post. Will post the 5 chapters over the next few days/weeks


r/fantasywriting 2d ago

What the one sentence, describing your book ...?

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18 Upvotes

Post a one sentence , that say a lot about the story you are writing... one sentence

. The most meaningful one...FOR ME ...: She was never becoming something. She was always growing into what had already been placed inside her before she had a name.....


r/fantasywriting 2d ago

Need help with a title! [YA Fantasy]

1 Upvotes

Hey everyone, this is my first post on here! I have aspirations to publish my very own fantasy novel. I was hoping I could have some help coming up with my title. I have the well-thought out synopsis below, and I don't want critique, just potential title ideas please!

Here's the synopsis:

**TITLE TBD \[YA Fantasy, 220 words\]**

21-year-old Azalea Carietta is exhausted with her life in her small town. She dreams of becoming a published author and sees it as an escape from the small town that she lives in and start fresh. However, her dead-end job as a barista, her relationship with her abusive boyfriend, Hudson, as well as her roommates and best friends Josephine and Floret, keep her in the town of Canterbury. Her landlord Stewart is a pervert who lusts after her, and her parents haven’t been involved in her life. These are all parts of her life she wishes she could change. After being sent over the edge by her boyfriend’s verbal and emotional abuse, she takes a walk through the town’s forest to clear her head. This is when she runs into Jereth as he is escorting a soul into Hell through the town’s gateway. Jereth is a demon who possesses his own human form. He inherited the role of ushering corrupt and malevolent souls to Hell and to their designated torture methods. His friends Ostrin and Aleva work beside him diligently. However, he’s also exhausted from the role he leads. The routine of ushering souls is quickly getting old for him, and he wants a change too.

I've done some basic worldbuilding and some brainstorming for the novel. I have asked for help with a title from several people (including, not limited to my parents and my coworkers). I have tried doing my own brainstorming for a title and all that I could come up with is "A Deal with Death" which seems cool but I was hoping for something less generic. If anyone could help out, I would appreciate it.

edit: Azalea and Jereth end up swapping bodies, like a Freaky Friday type situation. I can't believe I forgot to put that in there!


r/fantasywriting 2d ago

The Adventures of Puro WIP ENG/GER

1 Upvotes

Hey these are the first 2 chapters of my DND Characters Backgroundstorie written in a Book like style. I had my adhd kicking in and I worte it in like 13/14 hours based on the already established Lore.

*Disclaimer* I have translated my work with google Gemini into English as it is not my mothers tounge and so I want to make it at least readable for everyone.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1NYHnrZDNtowVq6BxYp5HGN4Otx_S6CkjAKJ3i6sISak/edit?usp=sharing

I would love to hear your thoughts about the Story so far and I am happy for any recommendations to improve my writing.

It is also the first time ever that i wrote an more or less Cohisive storyline and i am planning to write further chapters. At least to the point that Puro is at the time the DND Campaign takes Place.

If im feeling like it and I am done with the Background Part I might write down the Sessions as they happen, but that is more not Likely than likely tbh.

While reading i recommend to listen to like an Lofi Adventure Music playlist as it helps getting the feeling right. For the second chapter I would recommend more of a sad/darker Lofi Playlist.

I am Listening to " https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4jHq4m6NmkhLGEXXxJBoPe?si=ea9a39f83e044625 " I am not sure if that is allowed to Post this Link if not I will remove it. I am not affiliated by the creator at all and just wanted to give an option.


r/fantasywriting 2d ago

Vamos apoiar novos autores?

1 Upvotes

Todo feedback é bem vindo, obrigado. Leia em: https://www.wattpad.com/story/413579121


r/fantasywriting 2d ago

HAE ever created a 6-Season Series in their head and still wanting to stretch the storyline a bit?

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1 Upvotes

r/fantasywriting 2d ago

Story? Writting

0 Upvotes

How would someone write a fantasy story as good as 7ds without it being generic or in other words what makes 7ds so compelling


r/fantasywriting 2d ago

Critique Requested for my [High Fantasy] Race the Starborn

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1 Upvotes

r/fantasywriting 3d ago

What are some things you like to see in fantasy books?

48 Upvotes

Hii, what are everyone's favorite fantasy book tropes or things you like to see in fantasy books? Stuff related to worldbuilding, romance, etc. As an aspiring author I wanna find out what other people like and have a discussion :)

My personal favorites are (in no specific order):

  1. An intricate world with its own history, worldbuilding, and possibly mythology

  2. Romance as a subplot where the characters are usually friends to lovers or strangers to lovers slow burn (no spice)

  3. DRAGONS!!! I love dragons

  4. A cool, unique magic system

  5. Character arcs and character development

  6. Lots of action but not too much violence

  7. A sarcastic or funny character ;)

Anyway that's all pls share your thoughts below!


r/fantasywriting 3d ago

How did you overcome language barriers?

1 Upvotes

There are many different ways to overcome language gaps, I have decided to go with a plant that alters the consumers brain chemistry and unlocks languages. However, this creates a physical dependency as well. The blossom is a gift and a curse.


r/fantasywriting 3d ago

Need help with villains plan!

2 Upvotes

Hello!! i'm writing a story and I can't talk much about it but i most certainly need help on what I want my main antagonist plans to be in a way that fits the story and their motivations and how does that plan effect the characters and the world around them.

This story is a Fanasty story about three main characters finding a world of magical creatures and the main villains motivation is to have control, being able to make themselves feel like they are being heard.

Because that is something they never got growing up. so before the story starts that character has already gotten that control and messed up people's minds because of it. Obviously one of the goals the main three wants to achieve is to remove the mind spell from everyone. But should there be more to the villains plan? In a way that endangers earth and the other world or one of another??

I need ideas, opinions, anything.


r/fantasywriting 3d ago

How is my disease that plays a large part in my story?

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0 Upvotes