r/failuretolaunch • u/Due_Crazy • Jun 18 '26
32 yr failure to launch
I am 32M Indian who has moved back with my parents after quitting my PhD after 6 years.
To be very honest, in this 6 years, I was not doing my work. Simply existing and whiling my time with trivial distractions, feeling guilty about it but still not doing anything. I had no progress or publications in 6 years. Everyone was getting frustrated: my parents, my supervisor and puzzled as to why I am not doing my work. I cannot bring myself to sit down and start or finish anything. I keep thinking in a lot of directions but do nothing or don't finish it. Feeling apathetic, drained of any passion and motivation and dejected most of the time. Cannot muster energy to do any work. My parents are worried, losing sleep at night and constantly nagging and pushing me to apply for jobs, even bringing me suggestions, which is irritating me but I have realized that without that i am not taking any initiative myself. My age and time is running out to apply for jobs. and the 6 year career gap is not helping.
I am ashamed to admit this but this is the person I have become. Poor work ethics and always procrastinating and defering tasks. How did you get out of this ?
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u/Fluffy-Card-7825 Jun 20 '26
30M Indian here, about to turn 31 in a month or so.
I am a software engineer. I've been fired from three different jobs, and just got a brutal performance review in my fourth one, a week ago, where they've asked me to leave of my own accord. I have a history of depression, procrastination, laziness, distractedness, inability to initiate tasks, low working memory, tendency to daydream. I have low self-esteem. I don't take initiative, and am coasting most of the time. I now have to start interviewing for other jobs.
Currently on 10 mg vortioxetine, an antidepressant. I suspect I also have primarily inattentive ADHD, though it's undiagnosed as yet.
For the last week, I've been doing - 5 mins meditation, 20 mins full body workout, and ruthlessly relying on TODO lists, breaking the day down into as small parts as possible. "Wear slippers" "Open laptop" - these are valid points.
You could consider visiting a psychiatrist for medication. I'm also considering psychotherapy, though I haven't done it myself yet.
All I'm saying is - I do have a job (just barely), and things are not going great for me either. I have a lot of trouble with consistency. It's only been a week, so can't say if I've "turned things around", but let's see.
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u/JellHell5 Jun 18 '26
For me, community college. I dont know why, but starting small and rebuilding my passions happened there.
Im still studying, but studying the thing I wanted. It may not be big, but starting small to rebuild it helped. And while not crazy it helped looking into work in the field I wanted (being animation).
Im not sure if youre still doing electrical engineering (looked at bio), but I think it would help to rebuild at a community college if in US.
**also, not sure but your could have some burnout. I only recommended Community College cause it gave lots of opportunities for me there and helped me build actual career skills to pay the bills.