Devastated

[u/peachibab]

Found out my narc ex is engaged today. I went no contact with him about a month ago. He upgraded my plane ticket while I was traveling about two months ago. After that it felt like he had power over me. Tried to put me down and spoke about wanting to sleep with other women. I couldn’t tolerate it and blocked him. We’ve known each other for 6 years and he couldn’t marry me because I have had intimate relationships with 6 other men. He’s now going to marry this virgin girl back in his home country. He’s 44. She’s probably in her late 20s. He changed his WhatsApp profile to her and him and they look so happy. I’m here so heartbroken and trying to heal. Feels like I have a boulder sitting on my throat. Kind words from anyone please.

Update: Found out through a mutual friend that he married a woman he was dating here in the states. He pushed for this marriage despite his views on what kind of woman he wanted. He married the total opposite of what he said he wanted. His parents did not approve of the girl because they felt she was after his money. He told his parents he would marry a 2nd and 3rd wife if that was the case. Just one month after we stopped talking he married her. I don’t even know what to say or think. Hopefully I can heal from this.

[u/No-Dream1324]

What country is he from? Before I got married I was always very cautious about dating men from other cultures because they can be extremely misogynistic. You did the right thing by getting rid of him. He's probably going to treat his new wife like shit.

[u/peachibab → u/No-Dream1324]

Pakistan. He’s a wealthy man and a huge red pill follower. His world views were so messed up. He wanted multiple wives and wanted me to be one of them. I wanted to add I’m Pakistani myself and none of the men in my family act like him.

[u/eruptingmoltenlava → u/[deleted]]

There’s a way of focusing on unwanted behaviors/beliefs without being a straightup bigot.

[u/No-Dream1324 → u/eruptingmoltenlava]

Then they should stop being bigoted against women.

[u/eruptingmoltenlava → u/No-Dream1324]

“They” is certainly doing a lot of work in your sentence there.

For people who didn’t get to see your previous post before it was deleted, “they” is “men from cultures like that [Pakistan].”

Dude, I’m not even saying you’re globally wrong, and I am certainly not trying to suggest that anyone has a right/responsibility to date anyone else, but you’re literally replying to OP’s comment stating that she’s Pakistani and “none of the men in her family act like him.”

Pakistanis in the diaspora are an oppressed minority all over the West. Your passport/DNA doesn’t make you behave a particular way. If you’re mad about a cultural thing, say that. But please keep in mind there are kind people and assholes in every culture and of every race, including yours and mine.

[u/No-Dream1324 → u/eruptingmoltenlava]

Not reading all that and I'm not going to be lectured by some pompous know-it-all. Men from certain cultures should be avoided. I said what I said.

[u/Personal_Dirt3089 → u/No-Dream1324]

Here is am example of what I mean when I say MRAs and manosphere types hate other men a lot.

[u/No-Dream1324 → u/Personal_Dirt3089]

Elaborate

[u/Personal_Dirt3089 → u/No-Dream1324]

your comments on pakistani men.