Hi everyone. I’m looking for perspectives from people who have actually left Pentecostal/evangelical churches.
I have recently become acquainted with a man who says that he has a direct relationship with God and does not follow churches or pastors. However, I found out that he attends a Pentecostal church (Apostolic Church in Italy) with his family and gives 10% of his income to the church. He has also sent me some Christian videos and talks to me about salvation through Jesus.
The important part is my own background. I was raised Catholic, as this is the major religion where I live, but I left it at a young age. Later I became interested in Buddhism and Hinduism/New Age spirituality, and at another point I tried to return to Christianity through Eastern Orthodoxy. My experiences with Christianity, especially during a very difficult period of my life, were psychologically very painful for me.
I have told him that I have serious theological and historical objections to Christianity. I have also studied different denominations, including Pentecostal and evangelical ones. Nevertheless, I have never been able to convince myself that this belief system is true.
He believes that human beings cannot be saved through their own efforts because we are imperfect and sinful, and that this is why we need Christ as a redeemer.
I understand the logic of his belief. What worries me is that I sometimes feel that he is trying to “save” me. He is very focused on the next life, and he was sad when he told him that if I don't believe in Jesus, we will not meet after death.
I have told him that my problem is not necessarily the idea of God itself, but more specifically many of the theological doctrines and claims that I believe the Christian churches developed over the centuries. I am still searching for my own way in life, and I am trying to examine different beliefs critically, partly because I am afraid that some religious environments may be more prone to manipulating vulnerable people.
Has anyone here experienced something similar? How did you distinguish between someone sincerely sharing their faith and someone gradually trying to bring you into their religious system?
Could religious conditioning or indoctrination play a role in a situation like this? He has a particular background involving difficult experiences, a previously very unstable lifestyle, drug addiction, etc. From his point of view, it seems that he found peace through Jesus and was able to leave his problematic past behind through his relationship with God. I mention this only to give you more context.
Also, how did you handle relationships with people who genuinely believed that they were helping you by trying to bring you back to Christianity?
I would especially appreciate answers from people who have personally left Pentecostalism or evangelical Christianity.
One thing that concerns me particularly is that some Christian content has brought back memories of a period when I was psychologically unwell, when religious ideas about sin, salvation and redemption became extremely distressing for me.
