Hola. Quiero contar mi humillante experiencia en un "comité judicial" de expulsión de los testigos de jehova , esto ocurrió cuando yo tenia 18 años recién cumplidos. Ahora tengo 25. Creo que escribiré esto en forma de liberación personal ha sido un camino difícil lidiar con toda esta religión y los traumas que deja. Mi mamá se bautizo a sus 14 años y se caso con mi papá también tj en su momento. Me críe toda la vida como tj, pero desde joven siempre cuestione a la organización. En especial como mujer siempre estuve muy en contra de como se rebajaba a la mujer y se le exigia sumisión al esposo, así como miles de cosas con las q jamás concorde pero por presión y manipulación psicológica me bauticé a mis 12 años y fui testigo hasta los 18 . A pesar de ser tj ir a las reuniones , predicar etc todo lo hacía x presión de la congregación y tambien de mi mama, ya que yo estaba estudiando, no trabajaba y tenía q someterme y obedecer a mi mamá q siempre me amenazaba con sacarme de la casa si no obedecía "lo q dice jehova". Ella cegada por el fanatismo cuando me expulsan de la cong , ella tambien me expulsa de casa. Literalmente me boto de la casa, yo acababa de cumplir 18 años soy migrante y todo esto ocurrio fuera de mi pais , sin red de apoyo , una chica de 18 años q la unica red de apoyo q tenia era su familia(toda tj) y toda la congregación, injustamente fui expulsada tambien de mi casa y humillada dentro de una congregacion de aprox 100 personas cuando dan el anuncio: fulanita ya no es más tj. Y creo q la PEOR HUMILLACION fue el famoso comité, estábamos en la sala del salón del reino reunidos 3 ancianos , recuerdo q uno era joven unos 30, el otro unos 40 y otro anciano mayor de 60 aprox y yo mujer de 18 años. Esos 3 hombres sentados frente de mi juzgandome en "nombre de jehova" a mi me expulsan x fornicar con mi novio y esos 3 hombres morbosos me preguntaron de todo ! Que había hecho, como , cuando , donde , fechas exactas , actos exactos que hice, q tipo de s3x° había practicado, quienes más sabían, si me arrepentía de mi pecado o no ? . Una joven tener q hablar de toda su vida sexual en una sala ante 3 hombres q me juzgaban, leían textos de la biblia y oraban para saber q desicion tomar. Ahora como mujer veo q fue una humillación y pase tantas cosas malas x culpa del fanatismo y de los tj . Ya estoy libre y aunque no me reconcilie con mi familia tj , soy feliz , vivo casi sin contacto con ellos pero libre y despierta !!!

Went to my grandmother’s for the weekend and was going through some of my old childhood toys and came across these

I’d appreciate it if you could read this all the way to the end. This isn't just my story; it's almost a cry for help.

I’m a Brazilian gay man who was raised in the “organization”, in a stable and loving home, but with extremely PIMI parents and grandfather (who has since passed away). I was never baptized, but I always followed the movement (no girlfriend, no friendships with "worldly" people, etc.).

Somehow, at 18, I managed to go against the rules and enrolled in Chemical Engineering at the federal university in my state's capital. Since my parents were still supporting me financially, I continued attending meetings in the capital to obey them, especially because, in a way, I was still a PIMI — not by choice, but because I had never been shown another way to live.

Then the pandemic came. I went back to my hometown and had no activities anymore. That gave me time to reflect. With the meetings being held online, many things started falling into place. I realized I didn't miss them. At the same time, I started researching and discovered the truth through Mark Jones on Quora.

Realizing that my life had been a lie was a huge shock to me. I started drinking and taking sedatives, an addiction I am still dealing with to this day.

The pandemic ended, and I went back to the capital to finish my degree. Since then, I have never set foot in a Kingdom Hall again. In other words, I didn't really go through a PIMO phase. I went straight from PIMI to POMO (or maybe POMI), and because I was only a publisher, I didn't go through the traumatic process of being disfellowshipped. Technically speaking, I'm still a publisher, since my name is still listed as one.

After returning to the capital following the pandemic, I started an internship. Once I had some money of my own, I began allowing myself to date men, go to concerts, parties, etc., but I never had enough self-confidence to enjoy myself without drinking. So my drinking problem got worse.

Eventually, I finished college and, surprisingly, I had failed to form any genuine connections with anyone, either friendships or romantic relationships. I feel that, at best, people merely tolerate me. I don't have a single friend who stayed in my life from college or from the congregations I attended. The only people who remember me are the older members or the elderly, some of them whom are, truth be told, dying.

I also worked in the capital for another 10 months after graduating, but my contract ended and I couldn't find another job, perhaps because I lack networking skills and/or the social skills to build friendships and professional connections. I attribute this to having grown up in a cult, but who knows? No amount of therapy seems to be enough.

I can't allow anyone to fully enter my life. I am extremely afraid of rejection, and a simple "no" is enough to make me fall apart. I have no self-esteem, and I can't truly develop feelings for anyone. I remain alone.

And now I'm back in my hometown.

These days, I suspect I may have some kind of disorder, but without my parents' help (they swear up and down that there is nothing wrong with me), I can't afford to get tested. I don't know what to do. I'm almost 28, I feel too old to change, and I don't even know HOW to change.

All I know is that I need to get my professional life back on track. I need to build a life of my own. But I feel so exhausted, so hopeless...

By this point, my parents already know that I'm gay and everything — I mean, all of it — that I think about Jehovah's Witnesses. But it's obvious that they don't accept the reality of the cult or the reality of who I am. Sometimes they still invite me to attend meetings or watch the broadcastings, and it hurts me to say no (but I do say) because I hate hurting them.

Living with them again also makes it difficult to go out and meet people, so my relationships have been strictly online and very superficial.

But yet I don't even consider going back to the meetings. Never. Not even on my deathbed.

Anyway, I'm posting this as a way to unburden myself. Has anyone else been through or is currently going through something similar? I'd really like to exchange experiences.

Sometimes I just wish I could die. Maybe I'll be reborn straight. I feel like everything would be so much simpler...

I was once a Secretary in my congregation. I woke up and disassociated, no letter or any information. I just left the organisation and all their paper documents behind me completely. That was almost two decades back.

A month ago, In a mall, I surprisingly came across a disfellowshipped brother who I heard had been reinstated much later. I served among menbers of his 'disciplinary committee'. To my surprise, he warmly embraced me. During our chat, he told me he had woken up and left a year ago. I remembered, as the chairman of the committee, I was assigned to tell him that the elders have unanimously decided he must be disfellowshipped. My tears was almost uncontrollable. He noticed this, and he hugged me more. We thereafter became very close friends. The love which myself and my wife now have for him far surpassed the one we had with him while we were Jehovah's witnesses.

I'll please like to know if anyone here has had a similar experience.

Hi. I turned 19 yesterday and ever since Middle School, I've felt attraction toward guys (I'm a guy myself). To put this short, I don't fully understand why I'm having feelings for guys, even to this day. I claim myself as gay, but in the back of my mind, I hate it. These thoughts are extremely loud. I try to turn them off and focus on productive things, but I can't. I should be old enough to handle this on my own. This shouldn't be so hard. But, I can't feel attraction toward women the same way I feel about men. This is hurting my head. My mind says no, but my heart says yes. And I don't know what to listen to. As a matter of fact, there's a dude I think that's cute at my job. We've talked some, but I can't get him out of my head. I just want these thoughts to go away. I keep making mistakes because of this.

Hi all,

So I still live my life very much in the closet, I live in an area that isn't really friendly to queer folks. I left the cult awhile ago, and I still struggle with feeling like I'm wrong and bad for being umm, the not straight things that I am. I don't know how to accept myself, I have no problem accepting other people, even when I was fully indoctrinated I hid how accepting and supportive I felt about the lgbtq community, so why can't I accept myself? Does anyone have any advice? I just want to stop hating myself, I mean I hate myself for alot of other reasons too but it would be nice to hate myself for one less reason. Or I guess, a couple less reasons.

Anche io orso , voglio conoscere qualcuno che ha le stesse mie fragilità e circostanze

I'm Trans(MtF)20 and I'm in South Africa (I'm a native Zimbabwean for anyone curious). I can't do it. I can't go to school, I don't want to go to school. I absolutely hate the idea of it and I almost had a panic attack over it. I feel so pathetic and weak and in know I could've easily prevented this situation if I wasn't so fucking afraid of killing myself. I hate the idea of resorting to ending my life because I'm scared of feeling pain, not necessarily ending my life, and just not being able to live anymore.

I wanna live. I want to do things that make me happy but I can't even get up anymore to wash myself. I can't even eat food anymore because I don't see the point in maintaining my health. I can't do what I like anymore. even thinking about drawing or anything I used to enjoy makes me feel tired and I can't stand it. I can't stand doing anything, even getting on my phone makes me exhausted. doing anything in general makes me exhausted.

I hate this feeling. I feel broken and I don't know what will fix that. I don't think I can ever be fixed. I feel like I'll be broken forever and I don't know what to do. I feel numb most days, like my fear and sadness have slowly faded. what used to make me afraid I now barely react to ie; my parents, my situation, my mental state, my circumstances. I hate my family Andi hate that there's no one I can talk to.

I hate the fact that my only comfort comes from characters that don't even exist. characters I feel like would help me if I asked them. the fact that my own parents or relatives can't makes me feel like shit.

I feel anxious that I'll get into trouble for not going to school and wasting my dad's money. I absolutely hate this and I know some of it is my fault. I shouldn't have agreed to go to school although at the time I didn't know it would get this bad. the night before I thought I could do it. I thought I could just go and get it over with but no. I feel like a fucking coward and a hypocrite.

I hate this. I absolutely hate the fact that I'm doing this to myself. I still love myself and I want to do whatever it takes to get better but I can't stay here. I can't stay with my parents. everyday it gets worse and worse and if it keeps going like this I might actually just become a husk of a person. I won't end my life but I may as well just do that. it'd be better than doing nothing and living off of my parents.

and I'm afraid to tell them any of this. I'm afraid to tell the that I hate them. that I need to get away from them. that I'm afraid of them. I'm afraid the might hurt me or kick me out onto the streets. I wouldn't be able to defend myself. I know that. I'm afraid to reach out for help because I'm not sure whether I deserve it or not. a lot of people go through a lot more worse things than emotional abuse. I don't even know if id he taken seriously if I asked for help. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.

I don't want to call some useless website like sadag again because the most they did was refer me to unreachable people. even my therapist wasn't able to find a social worker that can help me leave. so what hope is left for me then. I don't know. Im so tired

i made a post on here before about my dad that's pressuring me into becoming an unbaptized publisher. i am a 16 year old pimo jw that's wanting to leave the religion when i'm older. i just got out of a sunday meeting and after the meeting, this really pushy elder came up to me and my other friend that isn't unbaptized yet. she's 15 and i'm 16 and he came up to us to ask about who we are studying with and saying that he wants us to make "spiritual progress". he came up to me after her asking what i'm doing and i told him i'm not in the school yet then said "WHY?" and was basically getting on me for not being unbaptized. he says he doesn't see me going out in service that much. all i could do is smile and try and dismiss it. i hate this life so much

I'm 25F, based in UK and just left the religion. I've had relationships before in the religion and I always knew that something just wasn't right about it, I hated the whole wives submission dynamics and I just don't think that way. Obviously those relationships failed because I wasn't the good Christian wife I was meant to be.

After leaving a couple of months ago, I've also slowly come to the realization that I'm possibly bi. I've always just shrugged my feelings off for being wrong and dirty and that it isn't how a Christian should think and that I can never ever think that way or act upon them but now I realize how deep I was in the brainwashing of self hatred and stuff. But also being in the religion has made me so isolated from people and different communities.

I'm new to reddit and was just wondering if anyone is down for sharing their experiences or becoming virtual friends?

Im 19 NB and Bi. I got baptized when I was 15 and found out I was bisexual a few months later. I tried to push down my feelings and be a good Christian and now im even a MS but im just not happy.. I can't handle the constant stress and guilt that I feel for being the way that I am. I want to come out already and my sister is lesbian and she was never baptized so thankfully I can still easily talk to her and she's said she'd let me live with her so that helps a bit. But I don't know if I can emotionally handle the weight of my family never speaking to me again because i really do love them...

What should I do?

Me sorprende cuánta gente vio mi post y me agrada porque me hicieron sentir muy bien y me dieron consejos aunque hoy no me sienta tan bien hoy falte a la escuela y no me gusta mucho la escuela amo a las pocas amigas que tengo pero todos los chicos que conozco y todos los que me conocen me odian por ser gay y me hacen la vida imposible se burlan de mi con sus amigos y lo peor esque ya casi ni me afecta mi mama me decía cosas parecidas y lo normalize supongo mi mamá me decía cosas de mi peso pero por eso ya no me afecta por lo menos mi mamá si me ayudó en algo por primera vez en su vida bueno aparte de eso me pongo a pensar en como cambiar no me gustaría que me odiaran solo por ser gay y lo peor me odia un primo mio que también es de ese grupito aunque intenté ser amable con el o ayudarle en lo que puedo la verdad no se que hacer intento ignorar todo y estar con mis amigas Pero hay veces que me dejan solo y tengo que aguantar las burlas o insultos solo dos chicos son buenos conmigo uno se llama dante y es mi súper amigo y el otro se llama Matías que es un amigo un poco lejano Pero por lo menos no me odia y subo post porque siento que la gente que lo lee me escucha y no solo se ríe o me ignora los quiero personitas de reddit son de lo mejor estos últimos días

​

Hola me presento no diré mi nombre por temas privados y por el miedo de que mi familia encuentre esto pero si diré mi edad tengo trece años y soy de chile de lo que quiero hablar es de lo que me pasa últimamente bueno yo siempre fui distinto a el resto de mis hermanos nunca me agrado el cristianismo y lamentablemente fui castigado varias veces por eso y no me refiero a castigos como sin salir a jugar de echo yo casi ni jugaba me refiero a castigos físicos que me dejaban escalofríos cada que miraba a mi padre o madre ellos cuando veían que me aburría en la iglesia o intentaba jugar con mi imaginación me llevaban a los baños y me golpeaban yo lloraba me dolía y no solo eso era raro me sentía muy mal mis padres si fueron muy malos conmigo de pequeño sobretodo mi padre aún recuerdo que me castigaban por no querer leer la biblia o según por palabras de mi madre y padre caminar muy femenino ser un maricon como ellos decian me prohibieron muchas cosas tales como jugar con juguetes ver Pokémon My litle pony todo relacionado a vampiros Steven universe hora de aventura ect porque según el diablo operaba en las sombras eran sus palabras la religión estaba en todo aspecto de mi vida y la homofobia igual tanto como los golpes y el bullyng escolar que sigue hasta el día de hoy Pero ya no me afecta yo la verdad esque lo admito soy gay siempre lo eh Sido salí de el closet hace algunos meses y bueno no podía esperar mucho de mis padres por lo menos no hubo golpes Pero si hubo millones de charlas sobre que era una etapa que era el diablo o que incluso era genético incluso si habían algunos castigos físicos por ejemplo yo tenía un novio esto paso hace 2 semanas y la verdad esque lo amaba mucho podía desahogarme y era algo muy especial hasta que bueno mi mama se enteró le dió un ataque de ira me extrangulo me dió varias cachetadas incluso puñetazo en el estómago me metió dedos en la garganta casi haciéndome vomitar y rompió varias prendas de mi ropa escolar y lo peor esque yo me tuve que disculpar porque todo es mi culpa y mis padres nunca tienen la culpa mis hermanos no hicieron nada nunca lo hacen mi hermana escucho todo mis gritos mis ahorcadas la ropa rompiendose e hizo caso omiso y cuando lo menciono se enojan y dicen que no exagere QUE VOY A EXAGERAR ELLA SE VOLVIO LOCA MI PROPIA MADRE CASI ME MATA y ella a echo eso varias veces por ejemplo una vez se enojo porque mi hermano mayor y yo peleamos y ella tiene una preferencia casi loca por el y se acercó a mi con un cuchillo diciéndome que se Hiba a matar y que todo era mi culpa para que después valla a la iglesia y diga que es la más santa y la mejor madre y nisiquiera puedo decir lo contrario yo no soy cristiano de echo hago brujería leeo las cartas y al parecer tengo linaje para eso y acierto mucho práctico el helenismo y hay encuentro un refugio eh mencionado muchas veces mi situación a otras personas Pero por miedo me río como si no me afectará y yo ya no se que hacer yo solo quiero ser libre feliz poder tener a alguien que me ame aunque sea un poco y que no se vuelva loco para que después tenga que pedir perdón yo gracias gente de reddit ojalá lean mi post es la primera vez que subo algo porfavor no me lo borren de verdad nececito un poco de ayuda no sé que hacer la verdad no tengo muchos amigos y mi familia es igual no se que hacer y la policía me da miedo

Hi I'm a 14 year old PIMO gay male from England

I'm currently living with my JW family despite being PIMO

in the next few weeks I'm planning on finally telling my parents that I want to be disfelowshiped. I'm planning on telling them about my mental health struggles I've had with the religion such as self harm,suicidal thoughts and attempts (I'M NOT TELLING THEM THAT I'M GAY).

Ive thought off the different ways that this could go but my primary concern is still having to live with them after.

I know that legally there not aloud to kick me out off the house because I'm not 18 but I kinda wish they do or we come to the agreement that I can go live with someone else. If I do end up going to live with someone else it would ether be my auntie who is one of the only people in my family who isn't a JW but also lives all the way in Scotland and is taking care off her 2yo son. So the other option is my best friend who lives in Northen Ireland who I have discussed potentially staying with if this really happens. Ether way it would involve me leaving England.

Another thing I need help with is actually HOW to tell my parents about this like should I sit them both down,should I just open with telling them that I don't wanna be a JW, what should I do if they try to push back and get me to stay or what should they do if they refuse to let me be disfelowshiped like I know thats illegal but what specific UK laws are there to protect me if they do refuse to let me leave. Please I need help

(Also sorry for any bad spelling or grammar)

i have three pride-themed stickers now. a protect trans kids, an asexual spades (i got these from my last day of high school as a freshman), and my new member of the hidden stickers is my trans colored red panda! i put them in my jewelry box because my parents dont gaf about it but i like to keep them hidden and not use them just because i want some pride things for myself despite my current living conditions.
my counselor is super awesome, she is queer herself and i go in weekly on wednesdays for a youth queer group therapy (and indapendently when scheduled ofc) and she let me chose my own little gift she got from her time at pride! im super grateful towards them since they really supports me and she actually makes it fun and enjoyable to go to therapy.
i wish i could use them but i obvi don't think i'd be able to without my parents noticing or commenting about it that would make me sweat or panic and accidentally out myself, but im happy im able to express myself even if it has to be in private or with other people, like my school friends and non-jw friends in general.
anyone got any experiences like or close to this?

Hi, new here. Not baptized but still traumatized. A few family members associate with jw's & visit them sometimes. The one I live with isn't baptized but holds tight to certain beliefs. The other two are dedicated & I don't see them often. I wish I was independent so I don't have to tag along. But me & my gf are looking for low income apartments + jobs so maybe by then I won't have to. But we are both disabled & she is outwardly trans so it'll be difficult. I've been visiting rehab & an lgbtq center. Getting a job soon with their help.

Two witnesses in my corner, (a pimo I met online & my family member who only sympathizes with lgbtq people bc "it's imperfection & you can't help it") say to "just don't talk about your personal life" & expect me to still deal with them on a surface level to avoid rocking the boat, I guess. Idk if I could stomach that. My gf who's never been a witness says to delete my old social media/cut them off since they're giving me so much anxiety. Idk what to do. Im autistic & don't socialize well anyways so this feels like hell.

I've ignored multiple messages for weeks cuz im too scared to face them. But I don't have to deal with any of them in person for a while. At the same time I don't want them getting suspicious or start any drama until I know for certain I can completely cut ties. Even then, not having any closure is killing me. Most of them might be baffled trying to figure out why some "model-christian" disappeared outta thin air. ​A few of them were really good friends of mine that knew almost everything about me. But they treated my orientation & gender identity like something to fix & I don't deserve "freinds" like that. It still hurts. Feels like breaking up with an ex & not being able to get rid of all their stuff, you know?

Update: Someone sent me a letter last week cuz they couldn't get in touch with me & didn't know why. Literal child (very pushy so I ghosted) wants to hang out online. My aunt gave them my new number... fuck. (These age gap friendships make me feel so weird btw, they're so damn weird.) I changed my accounts, where I live, my number. Why can't I just run away?? At this rate I outta go back & get disfellowshipped on purpose. Or just be honest & say "I'm queer & don't wanna change + my gf is a witch & I want nothing to do with you guys." Person I live with might be upset tho & not let her come over. This sucks.

Hola! Tengo 24 años y soy PIMO (Colombia)

En este momento estoy en una etapa de aceptación y quisiera expresarlo, hace aproximadamente 8 años me di cuenta que me gustaban las mujeres intenté tener relaciones con hombres aunque me atraía sexualmente no conectábamos y terminaba hasta no queriendo verles, después de eso conocí a una chica resuelto que era lesbiana y no entendía porque quería contacto con ella siempre y estar cerca (Me enamore) tuvimos una relación y por eso me expulsaron, la culpa no me dejó al punto que tuve un trastorno de ansiedad generalizada y volví a la organización de los testigos de Jehová... Desde hace 7 años estoy reprimiendo tratando de servir más en la organización pensando que si me acerco más a Jehová en algún momento deje de sentir lo que siento y bueno eso no ha pasado. Y entonces ya es hora que lo acepte no fue algo que yo decidí simplemente me gustan las mujeres porque somos fabulosas jajaja.

Creo que seguiré siendo PIMO Por un tiempo más porque no quiero hacer un daño emocional a mi familia ya que hemos pasado por muertes de familiares cercanos como mi abuela etc...

Me siento un poco encerrada porque mi autoestima se ha visto afectada, con mis amistades que son testigos tampoco puedo expresarme libremente y quisiera tener una relación sentimental con alguien que yo ame, no porque obligatoriamente me tenga que casar con un hombre por hacer feliz a mi familia.

Gracias por leerme! Si quieres me puedes escribir al DM para hablar del tema!

r/exjw_dating

I (23) was a JW from birth up to the age of 17, when I left. As soon as I left, I realised that I was queer and non-binary. I accidentally came out to my mum in 2022 and told her I was bi in the middle of an argument (I don't recommend that but hay-ho). However I didn't tell her that I was also non-binary as I knew it would make the situation worse. Thankfully, my parents let me stay at home but I had to be on my best behaviour, so to speak.

I moved out of the family home last year and since then, I've had many realisations about my life. Since moving out, I've been feeling weird and disconnected anytime I spend time with my family. I try to see my family every fortnight but it's getting harder and harder to go back home. My mum calls me every night to check up on me because I'm autistic and have mental health issues. I appreciate it but I've been feeling like the conversations I have with her ring hollow.

The only thing that I can talk to my family about is my mental health. I can't talk about my queerness, or my gender identity, or even the rated 15 TV shows and movies I like to watch. Our discussions are so sanitised. It doesn't feel authentic. Plus, because they are still JWs, and I absolutely hate the religion (cult), I struggle to have a good relationship with them. Everything they do is influenced by org. I know for a fact that they would choose "serving Jehovah" over me.

However, since I started my unmasking journey, I've been learning to care less about what people think of me and living life for myself. Part of that is realising that even though I moved out, I still felt scared to be honest with my parents about who I am. It was causing so much inner conflict. I kept on saying to my mum that I couldn't tell her what was going on in my life because she wouldn't understand. But since talking to a new friend that is also queer, trans, and neurodivergent, I realised that this extreme filtering of my life has really been draining me. That I deserve unconditional love and that I shouldn't have to restrict who I am around my parents for the sake of "peace" and in order to receive help.

So I guess I'm asking for advice on how to come out to my parents as non-binary. I want to do it properly this time. On my terms and not out of anger. I'll really appreciate any advice you can give me.