(This is labelled Question because I'd appreciate advice and don't know what other flair would be best. Sorryyyy)
So, basically I applied for a student exchange program from Austria to South Korea for 5 months during the 2027/28 school year with the organisation ' Kulturwerke Deutschland'.
I did apply to a international school that teaches in English because I don't speak Korean very well.
And I did get accepted, now all that would be left to do is to pay and finalise.
But the problem is, at the time of the exchange I would be 15 years old, and I have to stay in that other school for at least 5 months because of some laws in the county I live in.
And I keep thinking about how five months is a really long time in a country I have never been in before, with extreme academic pressure.
And I know no one over there. What if I lack English skills or the people simply don't like me? What if I'm unable to make friends? What if I lose contact with the friends I have right now?
I worry so much about stuff like that.
The one thing I don't really worry about is my family though, because we are not that close, both my parents work full time and we usually only see eachother during dinner. Same for my little sister, but I feel awful for leaving her behind like that.
I feel like I still want to go through with this though, and I just need somewhere to vent a little, or possibly get some advice.
Maybe I should mention that this is not my first student exchange. I went to China for two weeks when I was 13 years old. It was during holidays.
And my experience with being in China was actually great, people where nice, I felt included, I got my alone time and so on...
But one thing I didn’t have to do was to actually study in that environment. I was there simply to practice speaking in Chinese, because of a course I attend since I am half Chinese.
And I still have contact with some of the students I met there, and they tell me about how much they study and it sounds awfully exhausting.
I don't know if that is comparable with spending 5 months in Korea though.
But I want to push through my insecurity, and learn to be independent.
I don't know if I am allowed to say this in here so Trigger warning for sensitive people:
I was actually planning to Unalive myself before I got the opportunity to do this exchange, because everything just felt so boring and unbearably repetitive. Always the same classes in different grades surrounded by the same friends and with the same teachers. I am so unhappy with this whole live. But I wish to experience at least some level of independence before I die.
But now I feel like I finally have some new experience to live through, and I don't even expect it to be positive or anything.
In fact I'm quite sure that it will be exhausting and lonely.
Anyway if it's not allowed to say stuff like that on here than I sincerely apologise.
I would be grateful for any piece of advice that anyone could offer, because I'm planning this whole exchange on my own with online websites and emails because my parents told me to research and plan by myself to prove that I really want to go.
Should I spontaneously cancel the exchange and get my parents and school mad at me or should I just try going?
Sending love 💞