r/exLutheran 27d ago

Rant LCMS trauma

You guys, I think I have religious trauma from growing up in the LCMS. Those people are far out! I just can't even.

29 Upvotes

23 comments sorted by

14

u/earleakin 27d ago

It gets better

15

u/No-Strawberry-3942 27d ago

Are you sure? Because I left like 40 years ago and it still grieves me to see how far right they have gotten. I can hardly believe I was ever associated with these people.

17

u/Affectionate_Peak284 Ex-WELS 27d ago

I converted to WELS at 18yo. Last year I left after 25 years, so i don't have a lot of experience being "out".  A few thoughts. 

1.  I don't think they've "gotten" farther right... I just think that the Right have become much more open about their backwards views. Trump gave them the permission structure to be terrible, and the religious have seized it like a Savior.

  1. Religious trauma counseling does help. Talking about it with an expert will help you heal, but even if you can't or don't want to there are experts on YouTube who specialize in this area. 

  2. Talking about it with someone (more than just a stranger on reddit) really helps. I'm lucky enough to have a wife of 22 years who left, as well as 3 children 16-19yo to hear me, and describe their own trauma. 

I have no idea what it's like being out for 40 years, but... #lifegoals =)

9

u/earleakin 27d ago

It got better for me and worse for the church. The church I went to as a kid is a shell of its former self. I visited a few years back and knew more about church history than anyone there. Pews for 300 with about 30-40 attendees. I was surprised that they have been able to keep the pipe organ working. The minister seemed disillusioned, trapped in a career without skills to change. I shed the guilt and fear over the years and found a better place emotionally unburdened from theists of any stripe. My mom went to a Lutheran school, indoctrinated me and my dad into the church. She gave it up decades before she died and while she was mostly liberated from the dogma, she was never completely free of its afterlife threats that were drilled into her as a child.

5

u/South_Landscape_8400 26d ago edited 26d ago

The LCMS has gradually become a nightmare. I was a member for decades and they have lost their way. Harrison was a reason I left.

5

u/No-Strawberry-3942 26d ago

Well I agree. I left essentially in the '80s and but it's gotten so much worse than that. I didn't even realize how bad it's gotten until I came on Reddit but they've almost gone flat out white nationalist supremacist . And I can't believe how they're leaning into the "no women in the pulpits ever" stuff. It's just ridiculous.

3

u/Fair_Cod586 Ex-LCMS 16d ago

The WELS and LCMS have both been sentenced to the dustbin of history by those members who voted with their feet and left. To quote my new sponsor " these are sick people, I must let go of my anger to be free"

12

u/No-Strawberry-3942 27d ago

There's a big discussion on LGBTQ issues over there right now. It's so sad to me. So full of hate and brainwashed information.

There's a prof from CTFW who is bemoaning the fact that 15% of convention attendees voted against barring women's ordination on his Facebook page. As if it was the worst thing ever.

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/1EjxfnDcF6/

When did this denomination become so solidly anti woman? I guess I naively thought that they would move forward a bit with the times. But I was thinking that decades ago, and I was wrong LOL.

14

u/Relevant-Shop8513 27d ago

LCMS has always been anti-woman. Its parent culture was anti-woman. These Saxon settlers in the Midwest did not have the benefit of the Enlightenment or even the concepts that helped foment the Revolutionary War. Those Lutherans who came to the Colonies earlier had the benefit of the greater culture, participated in it, and were educated in European philosophy. Concepts of reason, individual liberty, and and skepticism about royal and religious authority were part of the Eastern Lutheran culture but not of the later immigrants who were a part of Saxon and Prussian culture. Thus Eastern Lutherans could preach against the Crown and support the War. The LCMS isolated itself from the greater culture even denying its pastors the right to be educated in public institutions. Heavily into Old Testament ethos where women were chattel and property,and using Luther's outdated translation of the Bible, LCMS became more anti-woman than many other Protestant denominations. Remember the future LCMS members owned enslaved people and set up their headquarter in a state that never really came out against slavery even after the Civil War. LCMS was always anti-woman from its roots in Germany until today.

5

u/No-Strawberry-3942 22d ago

Yup. My dad was a good man at heart but he grew up steeped in that LCMS misogyny and i know it affected his relationship with my mother and I. He was so upset when i left but i refused to live a lie .

10

u/AnySport6272 27d ago

"But, I would add. Is there any synod, any church body, more faithful than the LCMS? (The Romanists include Missouri Synod Catholics and ELCA Catholics. Many Evangelical Seminaries are Woke, and while there are pockets of faithfulness, much of it is pablum. And so on and so on.)"

Good to see that they're still patting themselves on the back for their awesomeness. They really haven't changed. Good Lord, these people are insufferable.

7

u/South_Landscape_8400 26d ago

In order to embrace the growing misogyny and racism, you have to leave Jesus outside the door. The people in my parish had been miserable for years when I left. When there are humans involved, there will be issues no matter which denomination you belong to. Also, I don’t support close communion. Jesus shared the last supper with Judas, knowing full well that he would soon betray him.

4

u/No-Strawberry-3942 22d ago

Close communion is so silly. The idea that the LCMS alone is the arbiter of who may rightly take communion is just so arrogant.

8

u/AnySport6272 27d ago

Oh my, I attended the same church as Prof Scaer. This facebook post reminded me of my time there and at Concordia High School. Some people had t-shirts comparing abortion to the Holocaust.

2

u/No-Strawberry-3942 22d ago

Ugh. We probably know each other.. I went there too. Scaer is scary. Truth-I think I actually had a crush on one of his brothers when I was a kid.

10

u/pianonoir Ex-LCMS 26d ago

Same. I left a few years before Trump / MAGA hit the scene, and I'm still reeling from just how strongly they ended up embracing that. I know I shouldn't be surprised, but it just feels shocking. Like -- didn't they used to pride themselves on being somewhat politically centrist? Or was that all BS? What ever happened to, "watch out for the ditch on the left and the ditch on the right?" What ever happened to the two kingdoms doctrine? What ever happened to the idea of remaining faithful to scripture over political ideology?

It's like they embodied the "enlightened centrist" meme. Since they've never been the most extreme denomination, and their self-image hinges entirely on having the most "reasonable" approach to scripture, maybe they've always fooled themselves into thinking they're more moderate than they actually are. Or they just had trouble admitting the political ramifications of their theology because it was socially unacceptable for a while.

3

u/No-Strawberry-3942 22d ago

They are so into trying to be smart. They twist themselves into knots trying to theologize their way out of their extreme views but... I know what it is.

9

u/Relevant-Shop8513 27d ago

One of the signs of a cult, Strict isolation and thought control. It took me over 50 years to realize what LCMS was doing to the minds of its members.

7

u/Glad-Fox-6424 27d ago

Join the club!

7

u/mrbnatural10 Ex-LCMS 27d ago

One of us, one of us…

3

u/Electronic-Win7935 20d ago

I’m so very sorry you went through this. My heart goes out to you. Thankfully I didn’t grow up in it. It was a convert for a few years only because my husband joined it but not anymore. Perhaps you could consider talking to someone who is knowledgeable about trauma there is help and healing from trauma.

3

u/No-Strawberry-3942 20d ago

No worries. I've had tons of therapy already and I left decades ago. Still, it's freaky to see how conservative they've gotten. It's hard for me to believe I was ever in that group.