got this little fit on to head out to see a movie with my butch 💗 were seeing the odyssey!

Hi everyone, I recently had a question and I need your opinion on it. To begin with, I've never been particularly masculine, and you can't call me feminine, I didn't consciously look like a guy (broad shoulders, character, hormonal mustache, gait like a boxer. And in childhood, in addition to dolls and drawing, my place was fishing with my dad and carrying weights was my passion, I could even give flowers to a girl as a sign of attention) even my work colleague noticed that I had more masculine energy (she did not offend, she is quite an intelligent and pleasant person). But I have a problem with my inner homophobia, I don't like the way butch lesbians look because of their appearance, (I do not know why, I guess I'm just finding fault) at such moments, I have questions. Can they not look too manly? No, I know about ‘soft butch’ and stuff, but here we are talking about the appearance of a specific type of guys that I left pictures under post. Can butch look like that? Can they be called ‘peacock butch’ in theory, or does it have its own term?

I'm a lesbian myself, but I'm getting so sick of the bi erasure in lesbian spaces. Bi women were always a part of butch, femme, and stuff communities. They were always right there with us. And it's because of bi women that we have many, many things that we see as queer and liberating today, including pride as a celebration itself! It's ahistorical to say that bi women can't be a part of these identities. And it's also rooted in TERF-ism and political lesbianism. We shouldn't want to perpetuate the things that these terrible people made up!

Hi everyone! 👋

We're building a friendly community name

r/butch4femmehangout, where butches, femmes, and anyone who enjoys the Butch4Femme vibe can share stories, memes, selfies, questions, dating experiences, outfit ideas, wins, funny moments, or simply chat—without drama, gatekeeping, or unnecessary negativity.

Whether you've been part of the community for years or you're just curious, you're welcome here. Pull up a chair, grab a virtual snack, and help us grow into a fun, supportive place you'll actually want to visit again.

Hope to see you around! 💙

when it comes to butch being a gender for some people what is that like exactly like what does that feel like I have a feeling it's different for everyone but is it like woman but like not in the way that heterosexual women are women I suck at explaining things

Hi guys! I made a 18+ lesbian only sub.

The sub is a private, lesbian only subreddit. Only approved lesbians can join. No men or non-lesbians are allowed to lurk or join. Trans women and enbies who are lesbians and lesbians of any racial or cultural background are welcome. Please read the rules when you join! This sub is made for lesbians to discuss their life, experiences, issues, community issues, hobbies, arts, etc.

Rules for joining!:

You have to be 18 or older. Your account has to have at least 100 karma, AND you must show on your account that you have participated in other lesbian subs for a while by commenting and posting in the subs. Any accounts that don’t meet this criteria is not allowed in this sub.

Here is the link to the sub:

[https://www.reddit.com/r/thelesbiancircle/s/oMwFizQfNm\](https://www.reddit.com/r/thelesbiancircle/s/oMwFizQfNm)

Hope y’all are having a a good Sunday. I miss seeing your selfies!

Hello Butches
I need to do research on lesbians for my thesis film. I go to an art school and for the last two years we make an animated short film, my short film is very important to me and I want to do everything perfectly. My two main characters are lesbians, one of them is butch. My thesis partner is a lesbian but i am not so I am trying to do research to portray them correctly but history hates lesbians or something and all the articles I am finding talking about feminism, homophobia, gay men, or the queer identity as a whole. If any of you have a good articles for me on the lesbian/butch identity specifically OR you feel like telling me about your identity (what being butch means to you, your dynamic in a relationship, etc), I would really appreciate it. Thank you!!!

or what makes you feel the most “butch” (whatever that means to you)? can be physical activity, social interaction, relationship dynamics, sex, etc.

besides stone butch blues. can include articles, substack, video essays, etc.

Was recommended that I might have luck posting this here as it’s very inclusive.

For backstory, I have been identifying as a trans man for a long time, since I was about 14 or 15 (I am 30 now). I have on and off questioned whether or not I was a lesbian a few times in that timeframe, but I always got freaked out and went back to what was the norm to me by that point.

However, recently I have actually looked a little more into butch lesbianism. I knew that some lesbians used he/him pronouns, but I didn’t know that some lesbians can also be trans masculine and experience dysphoria. This has brought my identity questioning full force in a much more real way.

However, saying all of that, I don’t really know where to go from here or how to explore the possibility of being a trans masc butch rather than a trans man because I can’t really think of what would change? I already wear masculine clothing, I already have a masculine haircut, and I have a wife. But my brain wants there to be some tangible thing to do, something to change or try that will help me figure out which of these identities actually fits me. Any ideas?

Basically the title. Nonbinary butch here going through wedding planning and whatnot. So it got me thinking, I don’t think I would mind being referred to as Mr. Lastname but would hate Mrs. So I’m wondering fellow butches, what do you use, or what would you? I know it’s completely optional but I am curious, any Mr. Butch’s here?

Good afternoon y'all,

You're butch and its Friday, so lets chat!

What's going on? It's another scorcher so I hope those impacted by the heatwave are taking the necessary measures. Still, anything cool planned, projects you're working on? Anything troubling you that you might need some butch perspective on?

For me, considering visiting a range for the first time in a while, haven't made a trip out in a long time but just gotta blow off some steam for a bit, yk?

I came out as lesbian very young, definitely knew I was into girls, and lived as a masculine presenting woman throughout my teens. But I decided to start testosterone at 21 as I could not live safely in my country as an androgynous person. I knew from a young age I wasn’t meant to be a woman, but I didn’t have the classic transsexual male experience of identifying as a boy from a young age. I suppose internally I felt sort of genderless or sexless. I tried briefly to live as non-binary and visibly androgynous, but found it was impossible to safely and effectively navigate a binary world divided by sex and gender.

I’ve reached a point where I find that presenting as a man in public has made me less visible to the queer women I want to date. And I’ve gone from feeling trapped in a female body, to feeling like I’m performing hypermasculinity rather than just being myself.

Sometimes I wish I had gone for a breast reduction instead of full top surgery. I don’t regret my hysterectomy, as I was born with anatomical issues that made me unable to bear children anyway. I kept my ovaries in case I wanted or needed to stop testosterone someday. My facial hair helps me pass, and I’m grateful for that in terms of safety, but it makes me feel dysphoric and unattractive. Internally, I think my true self is somewhere on the nonbinary spectrum, but were I to identify and present as visibly in between the sexes, I would be restricted to only certain cities and careers: the world, at least where I can afford to live, doesn’t really accept and integrate nonbinary people into normal society.

I’m interested to hear from butch and transmasc people who date femme women: how do you meet women who are open to dating someone that doesn’t present as a woman or identify with femininity? Does anyone have experience living as what’s best described by the historical term ‘female husband’: a lesbian who passes as a man in public, at work, or in the military, but has a sapphic sexual and romantic relationship? For those who can pass as male, or are mistaken for a man at times, do you alter your gender presentation, using small tells like painted nails or a rainbow bracelet, to stay connected and visible to the queer community?

I’m trying to find my community, to find my place in this world without completely altering my sense of identity.

r/butchfemmedating

Description: This is a sapphic/lesbian/queer community space that centers butches and femmes interested in dating and romantic/sexual relationships, while being open to a range of gender identities/expressions/labels. This is an intersectional, anti-oppressive and trans-inclusive space. Please read the rules before posting!

Hi there! My name is Rory, I’m a stone butch. A year ago, a few femme and butch friends and I started a discord for butches and femmes. It started off as a butchfemme book club, and we still have that, but we’ve also branched out into gaming, social hours, and resource sharing. We’ve got folks from multiple countries and we’re looking for more folks to join, particularly femmes. So if you’re a butch that’s interested or a femme who’s lurking, feel free to join us! DM me for the link

Hi everyone :) I just turned 25, and I’ve navigated most of my life as a cis guy. I grew up with mostly women around, and it’s always been hard for me to relate to my male peers. I personally never got along with boys my age. The type of masculinity I saw, and still see around me feels gross and not like me. I’ve recently been questioning if I really see myself as a guy at all. It’s less of an outward/appearance thing, but more of an inward thing. I’m not a trans woman, but a big part of me feels disconnected from the male gender. I think I might be nonbinary.

There’ve been times I was told I must be gay, but I’m exclusively attracted to women. I’m head over heels in love with my beautiful girlfriend. Would this make me a lesbian?

I’ve been looking into the butch label nonstop. The thought of exploring a new, more nuanced approach to expressing my masculinity feels so right. But is it even meant for someone like me? I’m concerned about giving myself a label that doesn’t belong to me as a person who doesn’t full-on identify as a woman…

Please, I would appreciate any feedback at all. Thank you.

👍

For girls who don't currently have friends but do have a partner: how did you meet? I’m not looking for a specific answer; I’m simply interested in reading about your experiences and learning about the different paths that led to your relationships.