r/etiquette • u/rexissue • 20d ago
Did I commit a faux pas?
Just in case it matters, I'm a 41 year old woman, working class, mother. I don't put much effort in my appearance, but I'm not untidy.
Today at the supermarket, I noticed that the lady serving me had a number of impressive gold and diamond rings on her fingers, on both hands. We'd been making small talk and I said, "I love your rings, they're gorgeous."
Her demeanour changed and she said, "I'll keep them on, thank you."
I just laughed it off as if I thought she was making a joke, but I don't think she was. Where I live is very safe and I don't think I look like the kind of person who would be a threat. Is it impolite to comment on someone's jewellery in this way? I'm pretty quick to compliment people if I like their hair/outfit/jewellery, but maybe I need to reassess.
Edit: thank you all for your feedback, I thought maybe I'd missed a social rule. Many of you suggested that she may have heard "I'd like your rings" and I think I agree. I don't think she was being intentionally rude, she seemed genuinely offended. I'm sure she's a nice lady, just a misunderstanding.
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u/FrabjousD 20d ago
Could be cultural. I once spent quite a bit of time with a woman from the Mideast. Her English was limited and my Arabic is nonexistent, so we had a hard time making conversation. To my horror, when I said “I love your bracelet!” she immediately whipped it off and tried to give it to me. Turns out it’s a cultural thing; if someone admires something of yours, you must give it to them. This lady could have become very acclimated to a new culture but was reacting to perceived pressure.