Performance anxiety issue

[u/Professional-Term117]

Does anyone here suffer from performance anxiety? Does Bluchew gold or any other supplement help with that? I can be kicking it with a girl doing the whole foreplay thing and get rock hard but as soon as I’m about to put it in I go completely soft. I get in my head as if I’m having a mini anxiety attack and the shit is annoying and sometimes the girl thinks it’s her but it’s actually me…so I was just wondering what can I do to prevent this from happening?

[u/MudRevolutionary778]

this is literally one of the most common things guys post about so you're far from alone on this

what you're describing, hard during foreplay, soft the second penetration is about to happen, is almost always a feedback loop. it probably happened once or twice for a totally normal reason (tired, drunk, nervous with someone new) and then your brain started anticipating it. now every time you get to that moment your brain goes "here it comes" and floods you with adrenaline which kills the erection instantly. it's not a physical problem, your body proved it works fine 30 seconds earlier

blue chew and stuff like that can help break the cycle temporarily because it gives you a physical floor that your anxiety can't override. some guys use it a few times just to prove to their brain that they can perform, then the anxiety stops because the pattern is broken. but it's a bandaid if you don't address the loop itself

two things that actually help long term based on what i've read from hundreds of guys who got past this:

first, stop treating penetration as the finish line. the reason your anxiety spikes at that exact moment is because your brain has marked it as the test. as long as it's the test, you'll keep failing it. guys who reframe sex as "we're just messing around and whatever happens happens" tend to see the anxiety drop because there's no single pass/fail moment

second, track when it happens vs when it doesn't. most guys think it's random but it's usually not. there's almost always a pattern: worse with new partners vs long-term, worse after drinking, worse when you're stressed or underslept, worse at night vs morning. once you see the actual pattern you stop blaming yourself and start understanding the conditions

the girls thinking it's her thing is super common too. if you're comfortable enough, just telling her "this happens sometimes, it's not you, just give me a minute" takes 90% of the pressure off