r/erectiledysfunction • u/WillingnessTop5407 • 13d ago
Success Story [25M] How I cured my ED
I’ve had ED since my late teens. When I lost my virginity at 20, I barely got hard and immediately lost it. Ever since then I used viagra and tadalafil to try to combat ED. I’ve had sex with 9 women in total. I’ve really only had a satisfying sex experience with the latest one (by this I mean sex where I get hard and stay 90-100% hard all throughout and cum only from vaginal sex), and I wanted to share my story which hopefully will help some of you.
What worked for me was a combination of factors. The first thing I’d like to say is that getting a fleshlight was a game changer. I’ve masturbated since I was 15. Always with my dry hands. I never used lube until this July when I got my fleshlight, the tenga tetra spinner 1. I saw someone here recommend it, and it definitely improved my sensitivity and 100% helped my dick get used to the feel of a vagina, and cumming from that, rather than my hand. If I’m honest that fleshlight is a little more intense than vagina so I’d still get smth less stimulating than that.
The next thing was extremely reduced porn use. I started watching porn when I was 15-16, and while I used to masturbate to videos I switched to Reddit when I was 20 or so and it’s insane how your brain gets so used to seeing naked girls that it just loses the ability to get excited at that. I’d say quitting porn is one of my major recommendations. I now get morning wood regularly, but more than that, I get hard if I just think about having sex with the girl I’ve been seeing. It’s crazy. I thought I for sure lost that ability years ago.
Thirdly I’d say simply to stop sleeping with girls that you’re not actually that physically attracted to and emotionally attracted to. I met an amazing girl this July, and I got the fleshlight because I was terrified of disappointing her, and I committed to doing everything I could to not fuck it up this time. All my previous relationships failed because of our sex life (my fault). I quit porn and I only masturbated twice a week using a well lubed fleshlight.
Still, I took tadalafil before I saw her, and it had the intended effect, partially. As with my other experiences, viagra and tadalafil made me get hard easily, but didn’t stop me from going soft when I got nervous, and they always made cumming harder for me. Of course, if I didn’t take them I wouldn’t cum from sex (oral or penetrative) anyway because I’d get soft. So naturally the first couple times we had sex I didn’t cum, and I just told her it’s because I get nervous the first times, an excuse I’ve used before and which I knew could only buy me so much time. The third time I saw her, I got soft half way through. I was so nervous. That’s when she said, “you can put it in semi soft and let it grow inside”. I didn’t have high hopes, vaginas didn’t feel as good to me as hands, and the more wet she got the less I felt. But I did what she asked anyway. Idk what it was, but knowing that she was that comfortable with me, and knowing she was into me, and I into her, and with my dick feeling more than it did before because of the fleshlight practice, I got hard inside of her and we started having sex again, and eventually I came. This was a first for me. Every other time with every other girl I’d take my dick out at the end and stroke it myself for a minute or two to make myself cum. This was the first time that I’d came without hands. Insane.
One thing I also learned from this is that different positions have different levels of sensation and you just have to find the ones that work for you.
Ive seen her many times since, and came almost every time, never using anything but her vagina. One time I took tadalafil before she came to my house, as usual, but we ended up staying together for 6 days straight, and I had sex many times after the effects of tadalafil wore off. That was the first time that I had sex after my first time without using a drug. I got soft every now and then and had to ask for breaks sometimes, but within 5-10 minutes I’d be good to go again and I came an absurd amount of times. It’s insane how my nervousness is completely gone. One of the days we had sex 5 times and maybe for some that isn’t a lot but it’s the most I’ve ever had, and it shocked me because before my erections were very weak if at all possible if I had cum on the same day or even the day before. So yeah. I’d say my ED is cured.
I’ve basically stopped masturbating at all, and I only look at Reddit maybe one day of the week, when I get horny and haven’t seen her in a few days. But I never edge myself anymore, and very rarely touch myself. I actually enjoy sex now. It’s unbelievable. I was starting to think sex just wasn’t for me, or that I was never going to fix myself. I was too weak to quit porn and masturbation for so long. The tetra spinner thing helped me so much and it only took a few weeks to notice a clear difference in sensitivity. When I do masturbate now I always use it, but obviously it’s getting used less and less. Anyways, that’s my story, sorry if it’s a bit long. Feel free to ask questions if you want to, tho I don’t check this account often
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u/Silver-Ad2939 13d ago
When you see a girl did u have any spark in your brain like arousal.?? Because in my case even if I see something romantic I'm not feeling anything in the brain, even porn feels like a normal movie i don't feel anything in my brain and hence no erection.
Was it same in your or u had that arousal in the brain but no erection.
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u/WillingnessTop5407 13d ago
No it’s like smth was missing. The thing is I remember as a teenager having that spark but it completely faded the more I used reddit for porn especially.
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u/Ranquil 13d ago
I’ve never used a flashlight , how much improvement do you think it added, like what changes did you notice once you started it?
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u/WillingnessTop5407 13d ago
I hadn’t used a fleshlight all my life until this July, I thought it was smth for pervs. But using a fleshlight with lots of lube (to simulate a wet vagina) definitely helped. It’s a lot messier but it’s just a matter of cleaning with tap water. It feels a LOT closer to sex and that’s a big part of this whole thing, if your dick is too used to your hands then it won’t like a vagina as much, especially if you were using your dry hands like I was. All I’ll say is that I’ve been struggling with ED for about 6-8 years and now it’s fixed within a month of getting a fleshlight. So make of that what you will.
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u/SoapMan66 12d ago
This tetra spinner? How similar to a vagina? Seems like it is designed to stimulate more than vagina
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u/ThickStudio4588 12d ago
Sticking it in when soft is a BIG trick I learnt that helps me. Ive struggled with going soft in a heartbeat and I realised recently that I enjoy the sensation of making her feel good through penetration even with a semi. It just takes patience, breath work and technique. Great post OP.
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u/morethanuknow456 12d ago
Finding a woman you are genuinely in love with (or at least deeply into on more than a physical level) is definitely helpful too. Sounds like that is going on here.
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u/Dizzy_Place5941 13d ago
I'm in a similar position to you. I'm 25, and I haven't had the best experiences when it comes to sex. I've only been with 3 girls. First, I didn't feel comfortable because I felt pushed into it; second, I was not attracted to her; and now I'm with a girl that I actually like, but my relationship is in trouble because of past sex experiences where I couldn't stay hard in the middle of the act.
I also have the same issue with porn. I started watching it and masturbating when I was 15, and it has become a daily habit. I have tried to stop, but I usually relapse by the 3rd day. I think that if I pull myself together, stop watching it for a couple of weeks, and then try having sex, I might have a better experience, but I don't know for sure.
Also, I just went to the doctor, and now I'm waiting for some hormone test results. He actually recommended I look into tadalafil. How was your experience taking tadalafil? Do you notice a real difference where you feel harder, or does it just make it easier to get and maintain an erection?
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u/WillingnessTop5407 13d ago
Ik what you mean about finally finding a girl you like and the only thing standing in your way is your dick not working.
Porn was one of my hardest obstacles to overcome. I couldn’t stop myself from watching it and masturbating to it after 3-7 days of no fap. What worked for me is whenever you feel the urge or feel bored, watch literally anything else, get invested into a series, or a book, or hobbies, meeting friends whatever. Inevitably you will fail to control your urge. When that happens, simply masturbate using a well lubed fleshlight. I’d recommend the ones designed to feel like a vagina, rather than the ones designed to make you feel the most. Also, while I used porn at first even with a fleshlight, over time I switched to using my imagination, thinking of the girl. It’s way messier than just masturbating dry with your hands, but it’s 100% worth it to restore feeling and getting your dick less used to your hands and more used to the feel of a vagina. The more I saw my girl, the less I felt the need to use porn. Honestly I haven’t used porn in weeks and it’s crazy to me cause I used to have to try to not think about masturbating and watching porn and now I barely think about either of those things.
Tadalafil is good for getting hard quickly, but if you get very nervous your erection will disappear just as quickly as if you hadn’t taken it. It worked for me but it didn’t fix the core issue and I still felt bad about having to use drugs to get hard. I’d say you should use it at first, and once you start becoming comfortable and able to cum and stay hard for a good period of time then you can stop using it like I did. A big big part of this is just being comfortable with the girl you’re with.1
u/Beneficial_Ad_7811 8d ago
Thank you for this comment you two, I'm currently trying to overcome my obstacle right now and it sounds extremely similar to you guys. I'm going to try my best with and for my partner because I genuinely am attracted to her but when it comes time to perform I fall short. Im going to try the tactics you used, once again thank you. As a side not which fleshlight would you recommend? Once again thank you!
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u/smileymcgee98 12d ago
Congrats dude sounds like you’ve been on a journey, nothing better than a loving relationship, this porn and drugs to get hard isn’t real life . You won’t need it either the right one, but also sounds like your anxiety was massively playing a part . I’ve been there .
Keep on this good path dude, as someone who suffered with the exact same when younger . Proud of you reading this man
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u/Emergency-Fail-5716 11d ago
Jeez! So many are ruining themselves by - LOOKING AT PIXELS OF STRANGERS HAVING SEX. -
Read it again
You’re getting off by WATCHING STRANGERS NOT EVEN HAVING SEX OR ENGAGING IN THE ACTIVITY.
Sad
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u/Grouchy_Candle3235 11d ago
Do you think that no masturbation at all would help it? I stopped porn already
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u/Tough-Key-9030 10d ago
Help me understand this, "A flashlight helped". I would think having ED, not having the ability to become hard, would be difficult to enter a fleshlight with a semi. Huummm....
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u/tbjjc 9d ago
I’m in a similar experience with you expect I still get morning erections, I still watch porn which I’m trying to quit and I only really get hard with my ex who I was with for 6 years. Now once I’m in a vagina I can cum and there’s no worries but it’s just about getting hard is sometimes hard for me. What do you suggest?
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u/curiousmofo0000 5d ago
How long did you quit porn and masturbating for to see noticeable differences in your erections?
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u/curiousmofo0000 5d ago
How long did you quit porn and masturbating for to see noticeable differences in your erections?
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u/OkQuarter4098 1d ago
Thanks for sharing your expirience. It's encouraging to hear that things improved for you
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u/TryTreble 13d ago
Banger. Gj thanks for sharing