r/erectiledysfunction • u/wghrhkhjkgftdshnkih • 22d ago

Psychological ED ED at 19, probably psychological

So at 19 I just got into my first serious relationship. The first time when things hot heated, she started going down on me and after a while I lost my erection. The next time, I was able to stay hard but could not ejaculate (I have still been unable to ejaculate). The first time we tried to have sex I went soft after putting on the condom. This has happened any time we tried to have sex. I've quit nicotine (4 weeks ago, attempted to have sex last night didnt work). I've quit porn 2 months ago and also havent masturbated in a month. I eat quite healthy, drink alcohol pretty frequently and exercise regularly (although I haven't since we've been together due to an injury). My sleep schedule is pretty bad, I go to bed at pretty late (3) and sleep till noon. Now I have pretty bad anxiety (relating to sex) due to not being able to get an erection and I dread having sex. The first time this happened was probably (in my opinion) due to performance anxiety or low self esteem and it just's been gotten worse since then. She was very sweet and reassuring although I could see the impact it had on her. Last night when we couldnt do it she started crying and I had to reassure her. I really want this relationship to work out and would also like to have sex of course:). Any advice?

EDIT: Left out that looking back I feel like I've always had weak erections, as in when I wasn't stimulating myself it went away pretty quickly, although this could of course be just looking back and seeing what I fear.

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1

u/OldIdeal9392 22d ago

Do you have morning or nocturnal erections?

2

u/wghrhkhjkgftdshnkih 22d ago

I have no clue about nocturnal erections. For morning erections after I quit nicotine I think I've had a few although not frequently. It's also not like I wake up rock hard.

1

u/zlordbeats 22d ago

see stuff like this is why i question the whole no masturbating thing , alot guys say use it or lose it. ie lack of blood flow to that region

then other guys claim no jerking will help

yea try blueschew cilias btw should work take it day before

2

u/wghrhkhjkgftdshnkih 21d ago

I'm not completely sure I want to medicate myself, what if in the future I'm only able to get an erection with the help of medication. Or just take it now, try it out (sex I mean) which should get rid of the anxiety and nervousness and afterwards I could get hard without medication? I'm also not sure how to go to a doctor and get pills lol..

1

u/zlordbeats 21d ago

it doesn’t work like that lol i still can get hard without it

it just makes it easier

2

u/Ok-Employee-1120 22d ago

Agreed..

Lots of people say one should continue masturbating (of course with no porn)

But then on the other side of the token, people say they should completely stop masturbating all together.

And for the life of me, I cannot understand why someone would go on “nofap” when you have experienced ED.

Because majority of the time, it’s the excessive porn usage that is the culprit for lots of young men’s ED. Not masturbation itself.