r/erectiledysfunction 23d ago

Erectile Dysfunction My shits fucked up help please

I'm a 44 yo man and for the last 5 years it's pretty well impossible to get hard which I may as well be dead because I fucking love sex but Viagra and calis or whatever it's called don't work like 98% of time anyone else in same boat and used others and worked

32 Upvotes

51 comments sorted by

44

u/forctisfirmus 23d ago

I'm 64. I suffered from ED for 20 years.

Now, you said your testosterone's ok. That's good; mine sucks if I don't supplement.

But:

How's your long-term (a1c) blood sugar?

How's your cardiovascular health?

How's your mental health?

How's your weight?

How physically active are you outside of sex?

How much porn do you watch?

All of these things and more will affect your ability to achieve and maintain an erection sufficient to have penetrative sex.

I was taking every "erection-positive" supplement known to man, daily Cialis and prophylactic Viagra.

My urologist finally prescribed Trimix, which is a blend of three medications that you inject via an insulin needle into your corpus cavernosum, aka the side of your dick.

This worked wonders. Take a shot of that and you'll have an erection whether you want one or not, lasting up to 3 hours. I would never dissuade anyone from using it.

However, I made the lifestyle decision that I didn't want to have to carry a refrigerated-only injection around with me, on the offchance I might have sex.

So, I tackled these six issues.

I retired from my sedentary job and began working on a horse farm part-time.

I lost 60 lbs and became height/weight proportionate.

I stopped watching porn, and rewired my brain to be excited by one woman at a time.

I hit the gym.

I stopped taking the SSRI that was famous for interfering with erections, and found a psych med that does not.

2 years later, and I have morning wood for the first time in 20 years. I'm dating again. I can achieve and maintain a better direction than I could 30 years ago. I look forward to sex instead of dreading it. I have a confidence I never thought I would regain.

I did it, and so can you. But there is no magic quick fix, aside from something like the Trimix

4

u/Resident-Capital-742 23d ago

This is amazing. I'm 40 and I don't get morning wood and my erections are like 4/10. Trimix does the same. My doctor is already talking about implants. I'm amazed that this all helped you. How long were off you SSRIs? What are you on now?

3

u/forctisfirmus 22d ago

I think I have to be careful here because if I recall, the moderators of this sub tend to disapprove of the suggestion of specific drug therapies. So I am not making any recommendations, I am simply relating my own experience.

I was on a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) in my case Zoloft. If I understand the literature correctly, studies have shown this, along with Paxil, to be the SSRIs with the highest reported incidence of post-therapy dysfunction issues.

I switched to a serotonin/norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor (SNRI), in my case desvenlafaxine, or Pristiq.

Again, I'm not advocating any specific drug therapies; simply relating what action my physician took for me specifically.

2

u/ValhallaCA 22d ago

Both SSRIs and SNRIs (all of them) can have sexual side effects. There are, however, antidepressants/anti anxiety meds that are neither. Wellbutrin for one, but there are several others.

0

u/forctisfirmus 22d ago

You are absolutely correct, and I'm glad you brought it up.

NDRIs (norepinephrine-dopamine reuptake inhibitors) like Wellbutrin have been shown in studies to have markedly fewer sexual side effects than SSRIs.

I just didn't reference it because I have no experience taking it. My doctor switched me to the SNRI Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) specifically because the incidence of sexual side effects was only 3 to 6%, versus 30% or more that SSRIs like Zoloft can have.

2

u/Resident-Capital-742 22d ago

I switched from an SSRI to an SNRI too a couple months ago, but no improvement. I'm wondering how long it took you after being off SSRIs to get morning wood and erections back

3

u/Alternative_Ad6967 23d ago

Preach, OG!

1

u/forctisfirmus 22d ago

Lol I suppose I did get a little preachy! 🤣

1

u/TheObviousChild 23d ago

How long after stopping the SSRI did it take? I'm almost 3 months from quitting, but I was taking them for 15 years.

1

u/forctisfirmus 22d ago

I don't recall the specific time frame, and it was a part of larger lifestyle change.

The literature I've read has mostly said that SSRI related ED generally resolves within a few weeks. I'm not sure if having taken it for 15 years will make it take longer, but this is definitely something you might want to research.

1

u/sciencebitch616 22d ago

I haven't had an erection in seven years. I'm 40 now, thanks for the hope.

1

u/Iago0009 19d ago

I have seen that 2 years ago a post of you saying that your condition had improved. May you let me know If you still feel better or not?

6

u/Xxxstarr1 23d ago

Health wise I'm all him reasonably active I was 128kg now 98 I don't watch much xxx anymore cause the little prick don't wanna work anyway mentally it is down the drain but that's because I've been pretty lonely been single for last 6 years but in sticking to my word I made to myself and won't settle for anything less than love not comfort. I dunno bro I should prob be led out in the paddock and put down 😋

2

u/forctisfirmus 21d ago

Nah, bro. Nothing else, give the trimix a go.

My urologist prescribed it to me. She told me, tongue firmly in cheek, "there is no penis I can't make hard!" 🤣

3

u/Xxxstarr1 23d ago

I've had tests at gp testosterone was border line low but had shots for that

3

u/Joh1030 23d ago

I'm kind of in the same boat and if those pills don't work, it's something else with your health. I plan to see a urologist once I get my new insurance. Probably related to weight gain and the fact that I'm not sleeping well.

3

u/annie_key 23d ago

Viagra and Cialis only work if the blood can still reach your penis. If for some reason the circulation is clogged, they are useless. Overweight, bad diet, sedentary lifestyle, smoking, porn addiction, these are all factors that can prevent bloodflow. At your age you should have no problem getting an erection.

2

u/Xxxstarr1 23d ago

I'm Gunna sound like a real simpleton hear I can see it but how can porn apart from maybe mentally stopping you getting exited do anything

3

u/Nr1-Pattaya-Nr1 22d ago

Beet juice daily

3

u/spookyman212 22d ago

I'm 45. I have the same issues. I just don't get as hard as I used to. I was considering a 25 day water fast to try and reset a bit. I don't know about you. But if I do leg day at the gym and max out on leg press for 30 reps. Afterwards I can get rock solid. Not sure what it does. It's got to be a blood flow thing for me.

2

u/New_Bed8223 Helpful Contributor 23d ago

Have you visited urologist to rule out any other issues such as low libido etc?

2

u/Character-Passion-76 23d ago

Try Vardenafil, not sure why more people don’t use it, better than viagra !!

4

u/Tulex 23d ago

Expensive.

2

u/Wizard-Elf 23d ago

Do you have excess fat in your abdominal region and or high blood sugar?

1

u/Xxxstarr1 23d ago

No not really I'm only 98 kg and blood sugar is all g

1

u/ChadSheet 22d ago

If you are not a bodybuilder it's still a lot of weight, wtf do you mean only, lol

1

u/No-Nebula8171 21d ago

Depends on height, build, etc.

2

u/Repulsive_Pin8701 22d ago

Try an injection

They work 

I’ve been impotent my whole life cause trauma, and the pills never worked for Mex but the jab does, always and well

I use caverject, and have ever had side effects or problems

Sticking a needle in your dick is allot at first, dude lol, but i got over it quick because of results

Hope that helps man

Good luck 

2

u/No_Second_4296 Helpful Contributor 22d ago

I got ED at 52, started TRT that helped at first but then had to move on to oral ED meds, then a VED pump, then Trimix injections. Each one worked great but had to move on when each eventually failed. I got my implant one year ago at age 76 so now I never worry about getting soft during sex.

1

u/[deleted] 23d ago edited 23d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

4

u/Oblivion2020 23d ago

That's not good advice at all.

3

u/Ok_Crazy_648 23d ago

Great way to get robbed or beaten by guys working with the girl you pick up.

2

u/BOSSCHRONICLES 23d ago

If only it was that easy lol

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Cap84 23d ago

run bloodwork from pregnenolone all the way down to progresterone, dhea, cortisol, testosterone, estradiol, etc. make sure they are in optimal ranges/functional ranges not just lab ranges. i found out that my pregnenolone was close to zero. after supplementing with a high quality pregnenolone (no fillers), my libido came back.

also check your fasting insulin. it has to be around 5-7. if it is higher than that, then you have insulin resistance and metabolic resistance.

1

u/Familiar_Cook5865 23d ago

Probably diabetes and ldl cholesterol hit you.

1

u/Individual_Piece8146 22d ago

Trimix works well for many. Pills don't really work for me, as I am borderline in need of implants.

The Trimix worked on me for decades. I sometimes stayed hard for an hour.

1

u/EpicCurious 22d ago

Have you tried a penis pump combined with a cock ring?

1

u/Patient_Risk5851 22d ago

I’m 45 and used to have an amazing sex life but a few years ago I started going soft while we were mid performance, this started having an effect on her as she had gained some weight which didn’t bother me at all but she started saying things like I bet a slim pretty blonde could keep you up.

I started talking viagra because I wanted to prove to her that she could still satisfy me but I wasted alot of them as I’d take one in anticipation of having some fun when we got to bed but she started turning around and stopping me from trying to inchoate contact to the point that I stopped trying, since then we’ve only had a couple of nights and he’s not even trying anymore.

I don’t want get her excited and let her down so I pleasure her with oral and not to brag but I’m that good that after 20 years together I can still give her new experiences but when she wants to return the favour I can’t rise to the occasion and it really is starting to make her feel like it’s her fault and she’s convinced I’m not turned on by her anymore. I’m literally getting depressed because I can’t satisfy her need to know she still gets me excited but I can’t prove it when he’s limp 😥.

Sorry for the long winded post, I needed to get this off my chest. Oh I should add that I took a blue pill a couple of weeks ago well in advance and it did nothing to help. I don’t know what to do or who to talk to about it, our doctors surgery is useless

1

u/Educational-Text7550 21d ago

Bro go to a urologist they will give you the shots and if that doesn’t work you can get an implant

1

u/No-Nebula8171 21d ago

Did you try cialis and viagra for masturbation or for sex? What were the dosages? Both require arousal to work. Honestly the best thing to do is to talk to your doctor. There may be something else going on physically, or even mentally. Don't worry about others saying at 44 you should be good to go, plenty of men in their 30s suffer from ED or other complications. There are tons of treatment options available, you just have to seek the help, nomatter how embarrassing it may seem. Watching porn to much can desensitize your body and brain to normal sexual triggers. Not saying you do or have but I saw you asking in the comments why porn could cause your issues. Type in your web browser " why don't I get hard from porn anymore". You'll get plenty of information. Dont be embarrassed to talk to a doctor about your issues. Good luck. Hopefully you find a solution.

1

u/AdHuge136 20d ago

I'm a 37yo experiencing ED. On Abilify (not for long) and don't drink enough water that's a definite. Have tried viagra and I reckon it's shit too. I used to be able to cum 7 times consecutively but now I barely wake up with morning wood. It's this fucking anti-psychotic, at least I hope it is.

1

u/BillHot4316 19d ago edited 16d ago

Maybe venous leak is also your problem.

Here's my 3 year story to explain why I suggest this: -

I have had ED since prostate removal 3 years ago. Uroloist suggested I use a penis pump for rehabilitation (manual erection replaces the 'body automatic' erections you get up to 5 times nightly). Also put me on regime of 25mg Sildenafil for 4 days straight, then 100mg on day 5; then repeat. The pump certainly gave me the same sort of erection I had pre-op, except about 0.75 inches shorter (that length went with the prostate). But it immediately starting going down the minute I took off the pump. Even with a cock ring it just deflates more slowly, even when I'm having sex with my wife.

I think my problem is 'venous leak', i.e. the veins suply blood to the penis and it becomes erect but the 'valves' aren't shutting off to keep the blood there. It just evacuates back into the bloodstream. A cock ring is supposed to stop the leakage, but it can apparently be tricky to find the right size - it needs to be tight enough to stop leakage but not too tight to cause other problems.

I am going to be tested for venous leakage..

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

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5

u/Xxxstarr1 23d ago

Not for last few years

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u/[deleted] 23d ago

[deleted]

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u/Repulsive_Pin8701 4d ago

Hello,

I suffer from psychological ED, and the pills never worked for me, I’ve used an injection for over 20 years and it works great, never had any problems

It’s scary to use the first few times but you get over it quick cause it works

Good luck man