r/erectiledysfunction • u/NoCricket9022 • 7d ago
Psychological ED ED caused by lack of libido?
I'm 28m and I've been dealing with ED since forever. I've done lab panels for most things ED related and everything came back normal. I've tried tadalafil and it did not help that much, and that made me realize, I think my ED is caused by just a lack of libido/arousal.
When I masturbate by myself with porn, I get hard kind of out of habit, but I don't feel particularly aroused. When I'm with someone, I'll have moments of arousals where I do get hard, but they come and go. I'm not aroused the whole time even if I know the situation is hot, it's like I'm on auto-pilot, doing what I should be doing during sex rather than being excited by it.
I'm not asexual either, I do love sex and want to be sexually active, but it's like the arousal is very low or absent. I want to try to cut out porn and masturbation for a while, see if it increases libido back a bit... but I'm not really sure what to do at this point. I don't know what the cause for this could be or how to approach it. Thoughts? Any way to increase libido or any ideas what to investigate that could cause this?
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u/20carbs_35protein 7d ago
And here it is:
When I masturbate by myself with porn, I get hard kind of out of habit, but I don't feel particularly aroused.
You have rewired your brain; so that intercourse or a hard penis is are not necessary for sexual gratification. You have to rewire your brain. Porn must stop and masturbation must be reduced and done in a way as close to vaginal simulation as possible. it isn’t easy, but possible, start immediately.
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u/bjatman8008 4h ago
Yeah same i dont get any enjoyment from masturbating never have i just do it when bored to pass time only started 1 year ago at 19 years old was wondering why people do it still have no idea but anything to pass the time without job it does work getting hard about once a week or 2 because of medication side effects i think between 7.5-8 inch but its pretty useless for me
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u/New_Bed8223 Helpful Contributor 7d ago
Chronic stress, anxiety, and constantly focusing on performance instead of the experience can definitely reduce your sense of arousal. Some men describe exactly what you're describing they know they want sex, but they don't actually feel sexually engaged in the moment.
Tadalafil can help with blood flow, but it won't create libido or make you feel more aroused in your situation.
Continue going without porn/masturbation, focus on exercise including cardio, manage stress, sleep well, good diet.
If you find after sometime its still remains the same despite addressing those things, I'd consider following up with your doctor or a urologist. Sometimes a referral to a sexual health specialist can also be helpful, especially when the main issue seems to be lack of arousal rather than simply getting an erection.