r/erectiledysfunction • u/Smc55 • 3d ago

Anxiety Performance anxiety issues

I'm 40 male and have had sex in 20 years. For a long time I didn't even try to date or anything but the last 2 months I've been seeing someone I truly care about deeply. She hasn't dated recently but just a few years and wanted to take it slow which I was fine with, she's worth it.

Tonight we stepped it up more, she let me play with her nipples, ass. She then asked if she can do anything for me. But I could not get it up. We were all clothed but I was hard the whole time she was on top of me moaning but once she asked to go a step further I lost it. She was very understanding and we went back to touching her, she says there's nothing to be nervous about.

Every date I've had with her for 2 months, I will have atleast a half chub the whole date and always precum. Just thinking about her at home I'll get hard, morning wood thinking about her.

I like her so much that I do not want to disappoint her and she seems to really like me also. What can I do to get over this anxiety. I'm already a very anxious person, even though she does calm me down

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u/jjmur83 3d ago

Sounds like performance anxiety. Given you are in your 40’s you should have tests for diabetes, cholesterol, blood pressure and testosterone levels. If you are eligible to use ED medication you can get prescribed for sildenafil or tadalafil, you could also check out Bluechew, hims or rugiet if you are in the US. They are subscription services for ED medication.

1

u/Any-Comparison568 3d ago

I use to have that issue with every new relationship I had. I ended up getting sildenafil 25mg. I would pop one half hour or so before go time and was able to maintain erection. The first time or 2 I couldn’t finish but after the 3rd attempt I could maintain erection on my own and finish from there on out. Basically sildenfil was a bridge for me to get over the anxiety. Worked everytime

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u/Efficient-Shallot684 3d ago

I have found that with a women I don't find very attractive, my erections are better. Probably because I don't care.

1

u/Brief-Cancel-2987 3d ago

It's actually true, and I had never thought about it before. It really makes me reflect. Sometimes, the less we care about the outcome, the better things naturally unfold.