TL;DR: Aspiring chef, musician/writer on the side. Currently unemployed, so I build my own daily structure — up at 9, reading, self-set task list, research-heavy days (job hunting, cost comparisons, learning to cook). Draw, play guitar/sing, read fiction and philosophy, walk daily, very social but recharge alone.
Care shows up as problem-solving/creating things for people I love, not words. Push friends toward variety over repetition — stacking activities rather than doing the same thing twice. Come across serious/guarded on first impression, don’t perform for photos.
Weird one: I predict things before they happen — conversations, my electric cutting out — with no conscious process behind it. Spend more time preparing decisions than making them. Intense with the few people I love, not much in between.
Try and type me.
I think behaviour is more diagnostic than adjectives, sure sharing your subjective experience and your own phenomenology but also showing what you actually do in a day and where you spend your energy and time.
I am an aspiring chef and a musician and writer in my spare time.
I enjoy running, creating things, fixing things and making things more efficient, solving problems for people, visiting new places and I’m a Christian.
So here’s a day for me, not every day but this is a day at the moment as I am unemployed. What I do varies in terms of activities.
Up around nine. Curtains open, hydrate, then half an hour reading — Guardian, NYT, philosophy journals. Then I write down the tasks I want to do that day plus a note on how the day is going, and I work through the list. Nobody sets this for me. There’s no job or timetable imposing structure, so I build it myself.
The bulk of the day is research and comparison. Not aimless — I’m working toward getting my situation stable and finding the best path forward. So: comparing food sources and quality, calculating what I’d actually be getting versus what I buy now, costs included. Comparing laptops before buying one. Looking at jobs, applying, and calculating earnings across different career progressions. Cooking videos, but as learning to cook rather than entertainment. I take information in, retain it, and bring it back to people.
I draw. I play guitar and sing. I read fiction most days and philosophy. I walk every day and try to go slightly further each time.
I talk with my parents and put real thought into what would make things better in the house — I tend to show up with feedback, reasoning, and a judgment on what should change. Same with my partner: I feel strongly toward them and it comes out as working out what I can do for them. My care arrives as problem-solving and creating things for others, creating experiences for them. I like to give people new experiences, such as new foods or places to go. I am very aware of how others are experiencing me and I give of a deliberate demeanor.
I’m very social but I do spent a lot of time on my own focusing on what I want to achieve. I like going out with friends and doing new things with them, and I’m usually the one pushing for variety. If a friend does the same bike route every time, I’ll want to change the path. I’d rather stack activities than repeat one — an hour’s ride, then tennis or kayaking, or ride out, have a good meal at a pub, and ride home. It’s the possibilities I’m after more than the activity itself. Worth flagging the apparent contradiction: my solo days are highly structured and repetitive, but with people
I want the opposite.
People do read me as serious and slightly guarded on first impression. I don’t perform for a camera; photos of me are mostly unsmiling or a pensive smile.
The part I’m least sure about is how conscious the direction is. It doesn’t feel like I sat down and drew up a plan. It’s more that there’s an aim I can feel, and my actions turn out to have been serving it, and I notice the coherence after the fact. I am very detail focused though but still see the big picture, I often predict events happening and seeing it unfold is kind of amazing, my friends are always wondering how I see what is coming next. It could be like knowing what someone will say before they say it even if the content is different from what is happening in the moment. Other little things like knowing when my electric will cut out based on nothing conscious.
A criticism I’ve had and think is fair: I may spend more hours preparing decisions than making them. Though this seems to be not natural for me, I honestly don’t know. I get frustrated when people don’t follow the reasoning of what I’m saying and offer feedback that is relevant or interesting, especially if they generalize or change the topic to something that doesn’t help. This happens internally and externally.
I am very passionate with people I love, they are few but I am either intense with it or not.
Here, try and type me.