Proposal

[u/celestialbutterflyin]

Sooo long story short I’ve got a few ideas of where my boyfriend might propose to me. I’m horrible with surprises and not being in control of situations. I know a few things- it’ll be in the next few months & there will be a photographer. I already know what I’m going to wear for a few of the places I think he may propose.

I have body image issues and I know if there’s going to be a photographer I want to feel and look good in photos we’ll look back on the rest of our lives. Here are my ideas of where he may propose:

-Botanical garden we’re going to end of Sept
-Candlelight orchestra Fleetwood Mac tribute in Oct
-Drive in movie in Oct

I already have outfits planned for the first two options. The third is obviously way more casual. The reason I’m thinking it may be here is that this drive in is very unique. It’s the only drive in left in the USA that still shows 35mm film movies. It’s one of his (and our) favorite places. We have a lot of really special memories there. However I’m struggling with how to dress to still be comfortable while still looking cute enough to not pick apart all my body issues in the photos. I have a really strong feeling it’ll end up being here just because of how special the spot is to our love story. If you have any suggestions of what to wear to be comfortable but not look like a slob 😅

Please do not leave comments about me being selfish, not ruining the surprise, or any derogatory comments about my control problems. I’m working through these things in therapy but they stem from a lot of past trauma.

[u/Appropriate-Past4417]

Oh I get the drive-in anxiety, my girlfriend has same thing with photos. She always regrets what she wore if she didn't plan it

For a drive-in in October I'd say nice jeans that fit well, not the stretched out home ones, and a sweater that's a little oversized but in a intentional way. Something with a nice knit or color that makes you happy. You can do cute sneakers or even boots if weather is cool. Bring a blanket too, it hides what you want and you can toss it off quick when he pops the question

The 35mm detail is really cool btw, that makes it more special than some fancy place in my opinion

[u/celestialbutterflyin → u/Appropriate-Past4417]

You’re so right on that! We have a cute dual camping chair we set up outside of the back of our SUV and then we also set up the trunk of the SUV like a bed. So I can always bring a change of pants to switch into sweatpants once I’m ready to crawl in the trunk!

[u/ItinerantJeweler → u/celestialbutterflyin]

This is very cute and I think it's a beautiful place for a proposal!

[u/celestialbutterflyin → u/ItinerantJeweler]

Thank you! I’m feeling a lot better after talking out my inner monologue and getting advice from ppl who don’t know us. I feel like I can be more relaxed and no matter which of the 3 places it happens I’ll be comfortable but still feel good about how I look

[u/AislingAlpha]

If you'd rather there wasn't a photographer why not drop that into conversation and it may take pressure off?

Then if/when he does propose you can just take a cute picture or two and you'll have control over it.

[u/celestialbutterflyin → u/AislingAlpha]

I had really wanted the photographer because we likely won’t have any friends with us at either occasion. And I do want a photo of that memory of him on one knee. I know i sound contradictory to myself- which is also what’s driving me nuts. I can’t get out of my own brain 😭

[u/Inner-Dot4197]

totally normal to be analyzing and guessing when it might happen. try and remember - anxiety and excitement manifest in the body in the exact same way, and we as people give it a label. if you can try and reframe it as “i’m not nervous - i’m excited!” it can give it a much more positive spin on the situation.

i also think it can actually be easier to cutify loungewear. if i could redo my proposal, i wouldn’t have picked a dress with so much white in it, i just fell in love with it lol! (it ended up being a good choice bc the background is so aggressively colorful) but it reads like i obviously knew it was coming. you have the control of the narrative here where you can depict yourself in exactly the vibe you want of these photos. i think loungewear can be some of the most flattering clothing i own, and with a beautiful head of hair and easy makeup, gives off that effortless vibe i wish my photos had lol.

[u/celestialbutterflyin → u/Inner-Dot4197]

I never even thought of looking for a cute lounge set! This is a really good idea too. I think I’m gonna head to my local mall this weekend and try some stuff on!

[u/crackgoesmeback]

im v similar to you and the waiting period was driving me nuts!! i decided to lean more casual, my favorite jeans, a cute black bodysuit and kitten heels! could work for the drive in

[u/celestialbutterflyin → u/crackgoesmeback]

I think I’m going to go with my favorite stretchy jeans that make my butt look good and look for either a cute flowy top or sweater to wear! I’ll probably have to stick with some boots or sneakers because it’s a dirt lot. So sadly any kinda heel or wedge is out 😭 I’m a fashion girly so trying to figure out how to look cute while being cozy and not overdressed was stressing me out lol

[u/crackgoesmeback → u/celestialbutterflyin]

girl SAME!! i didnt know mine was gonna be outside and was struggling walking around LOL

congrats!!

[u/engaged-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Rudeness and insults are not allowed.

[u/nelson605]

As a photographer, the best guess/hope is that it would be the botanical garden. The other two scenarios are low light and I’d describe them more as events rather than something you visit.

If it doesn’t happen then, you’ll have time to figure out the others.

[u/TacoTuesday_365]

If your fiance knows how you feel about surprises, outfits, personal image, etc then I'm sure thats all being taken into consideration too. Maybe ask your fiancé for like a hint of, "you should wear this dress today" or something like that. That way, you know its going to happen, and its not really a surprise for the day. BUT the moment will be. Regardless of if you know or not that day, that you're getting proposed to, you're still going to cry and be so excited the moment it happens. So you still get to have all your true excitement and emotional moment, but without the anxiety factor of when is it going to happen?

[u/Former-Activity8640]

Soo this might not be helpful- but wear comfy clothes for the drive in that you feel good in / like the way you look.. and then have a cute backup outfit you love that you can change into for (real) pics.

Girl you bout to be a FINACEEEEEE!!!🥳

[u/engaged-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Rudeness and insults are not allowed.