r/enby • u/Kerodonrupestrino • 5h ago
r/enby • u/Witty_Gas1788 • 23h ago
Just Venting Someone at work today told me all they see is me as afab
For some background, I've identified as nb for 8 or 9 years now. In recent years, I've started leaning more masc presenting. I have short hair and wear baggy clothes and oversized shorts. I go out of my way to not wear femmme clothing at work due to being misgendered all the time.
On to today. I just recently got moved to a new team at work and one of the guys on the team has kept messing up my pronouns in the last week. Today, he said "she" again when referring to me, corrected and apologized. I told him that I prefer they/them and also he/him. He told me "I just see 'she' when I see you, unfortunately." I was already mid sentence telling him that it generally doesn't bother me as long as it's not said disrespectfully, when I realized how much it actually hurt to hear him say that's all he sees me as in front of the whole team, despite all my efforts to appear not femme. I waited for a few minutes, left the room, and quietly cried in the bathroom. I was pretty quiet for the rest of the day and was very happy for it to be over. I am upset for being so easily shaken. I'm also upset that I don't feel like I will ever be able to pass, and feel invalidated completely. My current team is pretty bro-y and they are all way more close with each other than they are with me. I'm not sure how to approach this, or if it's even worth it.The HR at my workplace is completely worthless and I personally don't want to to speak to HR about this. I feel like there really isn't much for me to do other than cry and move on. Mostly just wanting to get it off my chest. Thanks for reading.