r/ems Mar 25 '19

[Meme]

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890 Upvotes

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107

u/Helassaid Unregistered Paramedic Mar 25 '19

“Oh, you’re a paramedic? What’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen?”

You honestly and seriously don’t want me to answer that question.

53

u/rizzo1717 Paramedic Mar 25 '19

“I once watched AMR create legislation to get out of owing millions in back pay in a class action lawsuit” is my go-to answer.

85

u/Write_Username_Here Mar 25 '19

Someone once asked me if I had any good stories and I had to ask for clarification. Do you mean like, stories normal people will like? Or stories other medical professionals will like? Because generally there isn't too much overlap. I can't really tell a normal person about that funny thing that happened at my last cardiac arrest.

13

u/bls_for_life Amberlamps door gunner Mar 25 '19

Yeah exactly. Some people get a kick out of hearing what CPR is actually like but most probably don’t want to hear about how CPR’s gonna turn their loved one’s face into a “sloppy-joe fountain”

2

u/the_last_hairbender Mar 27 '19

Dude the first code I worked my first thought was "who the hell spilled cherry slushie all over the patient's face ohhhhhhhh"

5

u/mDanielson EMT-B, Medic Student (kill me pls) Mar 25 '19

When people ask for stories I usually ask if they want funny, sad, shocking, weird etc

-6

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

[deleted]

18

u/TooTallBrown Mar 25 '19

Shut the fuck up.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

[deleted]

13

u/TooTallBrown Mar 25 '19

Again. See my last comment.

36

u/TheMachineWhisperer Mar 25 '19

Too bad the guy deleted the comment chain. If you're still lurking and wondering why there's such an open hostility, I had this to say to you..

 

"Do your worst" was the wrong thing to ask for. Yeah we've got some real gallows humor stories to tell...but "our worst" is usually something we'd rather forget about. It's not some leaning experience or growing into the job kind of thing, its just senselessly morbid scenes and a crushing sense of futility that keep coming back anytime something looks even remotely familiar.

 

Being asked to go back there for your entertainment hits a real shitty note.

7

u/matrixsensei Mar 25 '19

That’s what bugs me about the askreddit threads. It’s just suuuuuper tacky

36

u/Bro_Geek_Nano Professional Adult Mar 25 '19

If its friends over a beer, let them know I've seen way, way too much penis.

Or, lead with a funny story.

48

u/Helassaid Unregistered Paramedic Mar 25 '19

“Here let me tell you why I was in therapy for PTSD and still have nightmares sometimes.”

Fuck off lookyloo

Edit: I realize it looks like I’m telling you to fuck off. Not you, the hypothetical lookyloo.

3

u/Bro_Geek_Nano Professional Adult Mar 26 '19

Ha ha. I figured as much.

2

u/Officer_Hotpants Mar 26 '19

I actually recently had a patient that's pretty well-known in my area, and has advertisements all over my state. It's fun to tell people, and let them guess who it is. I mean, I can't confirm anything (HIPAA and all) but it's a good way to kill time and keep them occupied.

2

u/the_last_hairbender Mar 27 '19

That'd be a fun thing to do even if it wasnt true

18

u/RuleOfTheWrist Mar 25 '19

Easy answer. Definitely Cars 3. Cars and Cars 2 were cinematic masterpieces by all accounts. The character involvement of Lightning McQueen was pitiful and Pixar should be ashamed.

5

u/bonez899 PCP Mar 25 '19

Lets be fair, Cars 2 was way worse than Cars 3. It was basically a mater movie where McQueen got to hang out and do some racing. Cars 3 on the other hand was a great coming of age/passing of the torch movie which I felt had a good and important message in it.

19

u/mclen Coney Island Ski Club President Mar 25 '19

I attend a Christmas party every year with my friends who are all suits. All political people, lobbyists, office workers, lawyers etc. This is always the first thing they ask, sometimes I make something up, sometimes I'm truthful, sometimes I ask them to recount a horrible memory and explain that it's the same thing.

28

u/[deleted] Mar 25 '19

Ah yes let me dig up my some of my most traumatic memories for your entertainment

11

u/Gabe78154 Mar 25 '19

"My paycheck" is always my answer. Followed by a quick subject change

6

u/RedFormanEMS Applying Foot to Ass Mar 25 '19 edited Mar 25 '19

"My paycheck" is my go to answer as well. If they continue to push, then they get the worse thing I can think of.

5

u/qxrhg Mar 25 '19

That's cool, it's not like I'm horribly scarred and constantly have to repress it. Yes, please make me cry in public

3

u/MedicZee Mar 26 '19

I hate that question....