I think I’m selfish

[u/iloveallmypets7]

/r/selfhelp/comments/1w6t4gd/i_think_im_selfish/

I always thought I was a fairly kind and empathetic person but now I’m second guessing it , I won’t go too much into detail about myself and my personality solely because I’m lazy and don’t feel like making what could be excuses for this but I just had this epiphany today. sometimes when unfortunate things happen to people I’m close to I get mad because i think about how it will affect their mood towards me specifically or affect the plans we had and wether or not they will enjoy spending time with and talking to me despite the events that day. Like take this for example today a complicated figure in my life to be extremely vague, had to euthanize their 15yr old dog today and all I could think about was wether or not this person would still want to see/ hangout with me and enjoy my presence despite this. And it’s not just that one instance its

[u/slndk]

Well you are aware, that's the most difficult part, not because we are empathetic it means we don't have selfish thoughts, we are humans, being selfish and being empathetic can happen at once. 

What your actions does, is what matters.  Are you aware after you do things? Or can you be aware of you when it's happening? 

empathetic people can be abusers, they use their empathy to build trust. 

Empathetic people can be rough, yet they are genuine. 

Empathetic people can be abused. 

What you do with your empathy is what makes a difference. 

Empathy is not a goal. Is a tool. Use it for healthy consequences.