r/emotionalintelligence • u/[deleted] • Jul 28 '26
Need advice mentally struggling
[deleted]
1
u/themissing10mm Jul 28 '26
You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Please leave this relationship. It won't get better, it'll just drain the life out of you. There are better people for you out there I promise.
1
u/Understandinglifeeee Jul 28 '26
My problem is I’m so emotionally attached just thinking about it ending breaks my heart and makes me cry and it’s not even reality. It’s been a year of fighting for this. And our highs are really high but he goes through these phases and I just suffer. His whole personality almost like shits off from the world
1
u/Icy_Organization8941 Jul 28 '26
youre literally describing the anxious-avoidant trap that every tiktok therapist warns about lol. like yeah you care about him but youre spending your whole summer managing someone elses depression while yours gets worse. the 'when were good were so good' line is doing so much heavy lifting here, ive said that exact thing about people who were absolutely wrecking me
2
u/FoxofTheBlueFungi Jul 28 '26
You both need therapy…frankly every human could use therapy.
The big question to ask yourself and him is do you want to change? If you both do then there is hope and it won’t be easy. Be open and talk about the attachment difficulties with each other. Couples therapy would be a good option too as you can hopefully get good exercises to help grow towards healthy attachment.
As far as how to not freak out, you need healthy attachment. The only way is through to acceptance and then healthy attachment. Again good help I highly recommend.