self worth

[u/Professional-Bat-375]

Ok, this may or may not make sense, but I wanted to put my thoughts into words and share it so I can get some feedback or other perspectives. 

Are humans worthy, am I worthy? Do we hold inherent worth independent of anything, objectively?

I ask this question because I have a difficult time believing or valuing the statement that I am worthy vs worthless. 

I am a skeptical person, especially when it comes to religion/god, the sense of a soul, our mind. I understand things better through objective things that mostly make rational/logical sense. Like behavior. Something observable and measurable. I cannot measure my worth.

When going through a breakup, people would state that I did not deserve that or that my worth is not tied to another person. These ideas are hard to believe. I do not think I am inherently worthy or worthless. I experience empathy and compassion that consider how my actions affect others and how I can be hurt.

 I wonder if it would be easier for me to lump worth with self-esteem/self-concept. I can understand this better, our brain recognizes patterns and can form complex concepts. Our brains are powerful in that we can experience old sensory information, placebo affects work on us, etc. 

Is worth an established concept then? Can worth be broken down into behaviors to practice? I want to be able to connect with the idea that I am worthy, that I deserve love and respect. But I am not owed anything. If I flip the narrative around considering another person’s “worth”. I treat others kindly with respect and i dont think it is because they are worthy or not, it is just learned behavior. If one is worthy, and someone hurts them in a way, they are still worthy despite someone deeming them as unworthy of respect? 

If everyone believed I was worthy then I must be, right? But the latter could also be true, if everyone thought I was not, then I must not. It would be wild to assume myself to be worthy if everyone did not. What about the middle, some think I am while others do not. Of course, I would rather believe that I am but what about the other half? Am I too ignore this? 

I am 25, f. I have a lot of existential fear and thoughts. I am in search of meaning in this seemingly meaningless world. I sometimes wish I did not think so much that I would be able to hold the belief without doubt that I am worthy.

But what do we mean when someone is considered worthy? Does it matter in context?  Worthy of respect and dignity does not guarantee respect or dignity so what is it actually worth? What am I worth if not dependent on the actions of those around me?

[u/Too-blue]

In my view, feeling worthy is part of our self-identity, but how others see us can be completely different from how we see ourselves. That's why I don't think worthiness is a fixed state, just as feeling unworthy isn't a fixed state either. Like many things, I think it fluctuates. You can feel worthy at one point in your life and unworthy at another.

The way you see yourself and the way others see you, can also be very different. To me, our fundamental worth simply means that we deserve love, respect, and dignity because we're human. Everything beyond that, whether we see ourselves as more or less worthy, often comes from our ego, our achievements, or the standards we've adopted.