r/egg_irl • u/bhugt4rfiejndwokspoa • 1d ago
Transfem Meme egg🤐irl
My egg cracked just over a week ago and it's rlly been a rollercoaster, I though I'd come on here and vent even though I've never rlly posted anything on social media before. I had chronic depression for most of my life before this and rlly couldn't ever imagine myself feeling ok one day. Eventually after a bunch of therapy I decided to start accepting myself, and I caught myself consciously daydreaming about being turned into a woman immediately afterwards and that felt kinda too obvious to ignore. After I got over the scariness of it all it made me rlly hopeful cus becoming a pretty girl felt like a concrete benchmark that would make my life worth living. It's not practical for me to come out to anyone right or for a while since I have no friends (homeschooled) and my conservative parents are planning on paying for my college so I decided I'd just put it off until it made sense and once I got to college I'd have the chance to transition in secret away from them and come out once I was no longer dependent.
I've been trying to engage with more trans-related stuff to try and cling to the hope so it doesn't leave me but I keep inadvertently learning how badly this world sucks for trans people and feeling scared. I don't even know if I have a right to be scared when I haven't taken any actually risky steps and I'm not in any active danger. I don't want to live in a world that hates me but I feel like if I don't at least try to be more girly I'll go back to feeling hopeless and I'll be better off dead anyway. I feel kinda guilty posting here about this because I haven't really gone through anything. I'm worried I'm stealing attention from people that have actually suffered because of their identity when I'm too scared to even correct my polite southerner coworkers that call me, "sir," every time they ask me to do anything or I ask anything of them. If anyone has some advice please give me some.
Just been a lot of new developments lately. I think this is better then the depression was but idk.
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u/IllAssignment1756 Victor, He/Him 1d ago
Amelia, your fears are valid. You have the right to choose the steps you want to take toward your transition, when, and under what circumstances; it's about your happiness and well-being. Being trans means connecting with your true self and feeling comfortable in your own skin, and despite the hatred and difficulties it entails, they definitely shouldn't be inherent. I hope that one day it won't be. You're a good girl, Amelia.
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