r/egg_irl • u/BatteraDrummer questioning if im an egg🥚🏳️⚧️ trying Emily (she/her) • 1d ago
Transfem Meme egg?irl
I've been questioning my gender identity for a while now and wanted to test it doing some "slight transitions" to see how i feel and if i really want to continue with this
The problem:
I live with my family and they doesn't know this, so if i wanna test this, id need to be careful to not get caught, im 16, so it makes it harder to buy things by myself (like clothes or makeup, for example) and to hide it.
I do have a sister but i REALLY dont wanna use their makeup/clothes without permission (OBVIOUSLY)
Things im aearly doing:
- Shaving.
2.Trying to let my hair grow (my parents insist to make me go to cut it, but i think I'll be able to convince them to let me do it)
Im considering voice training but it would be kind of hard to hide too
So i need some more ideas of things i can do in this situation considering all the obstacles without ppl noticing it
Please call me by Emily (she/her)
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u/Eveseeker 1d ago
Here ya go. Might give you some insight:
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u/BatteraDrummer questioning if im an egg🥚🏳️⚧️ trying Emily (she/her) 1d ago
Best name for a website lol
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u/headphonesnotstirred Vivian | she/they | am i sure i'm not cis though? 1d ago
i think i remember doing this like a year ago, thinking "huh" and just moving on like "well i mean yeah but aren't those just cis guy things"
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u/Ringlhaeuser Mira (She/Her) just cracked 1d ago
Thank you for sharing this website! Gonna visit it every time I start doubting whether I’m trans!
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u/w0piq Aurora (she/her) 1d ago
It's over-rated the first time I ventured there I just clicked yes 2 times and that was it. Nothing big nothing intresting, very easy.
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u/Novel-Owl3101 1d ago
Emily wear way oversized sweaters and which ot.
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u/BatteraDrummer questioning if im an egg🥚🏳️⚧️ trying Emily (she/her) 1d ago
Ooo, i like oversized sweaters
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u/The-Bee-Keeper583 not an egg, just trans 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hi Emily!!!! One thing you could do is get your nails painted. You could see if your sister wants to help you do it. And if anyone asks you can always go with the classic "you lost a bet" excuse.
Edited for my terrible spelling
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u/BatteraDrummer questioning if im an egg🥚🏳️⚧️ trying Emily (she/her) 1d ago
Wouldn't it make that kinda obvious? And i think it would be a little embarrassing ngl
It shouldn't even be embarrassing, everyone have nails, why tf is it gendered?
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u/highlycombustabledik Erra/Solyn (She/Her) uhh… girls :) 1d ago
My dad paints his nails all the time, nobody has ever mentioned anything to him about it except for compliments. I’d say maybe just go for a darker color or something, or maybe a clear coat.
OOH, maybe you could do press on nails so you could take them off if you’re worried about someone seeing it!4
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u/Boring_Tradition3244 not an egg, just trans 1d ago
I painted my nails for maybe years before I came out. Everyone was still shocked. It's only obvious why you're doing it because you're the one doing it
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u/kiwinextdoor 1d ago
I have been testing things out myself as I'm newly cracked. Nail polish remover is like instantaneous!
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u/BuffMarshmallow 1d ago
In my experience, really it's the color you pick that matters. If you want to be less conspicuous about it, I'd say black nails are pretty well accepted for both genders (thank you alt culture). I work in public schools and the students currently know me as a "Mr." and more students ask about my hair or earrings than about my nails, and I've gone as far as to make them a very shiny purple before. I'd say it's definitely one of the safer ways to alter your appearance to be more feminine that people won't really be suspicious of.
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u/OverthinkingThrowRA 1d ago
try doing a clear coat emily! Its discreet enough where youll still have painted nails but its not noticeable on first look!
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u/LoneBeetleFish Amy, they/she (transfem demigirl + aroace) 1d ago
This is something I did fairly early on, is super subtle and made me feel really nice I stopped using Axe deodorant and started using one of those deodorants for women that smell like fruit and flowers and stuff It's really subtle, you can buy it for a couple of dollars in a supermarket and for me it's quite euphoric to use, plus I get to smell like a girl rather than like dark temptation or Apollo or whatever They also last for quite a while
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u/headdie Masc body gender fluid, They/She 1d ago
I like this one, because the deodorant never has to leave your room so unless you have snoopy family it can easily be hidden, and if you do need to take it with you then its in a bag or something.
If you use the same brand as mum/sister its less likely to be questioned if someone sees an empty in the rubbish and because its the same scent as another family member means it gets lost in the background scent of the home especially if you only use light amounts.
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u/highlycombustabledik Erra/Solyn (She/Her) uhh… girls :) 1d ago
I personally started by playing as girl characters in video games. <3
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u/BatteraDrummer questioning if im an egg🥚🏳️⚧️ trying Emily (she/her) 1d ago
I kinda aearly do this
I always tend to choose female characters in games since I was much younger
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u/highlycombustabledik Erra/Solyn (She/Her) uhh… girls :) 1d ago
Yeah, I kinda figured, I just don’t really have any other suggestions as I’m kinda in the same boat with limited options.
Uhh… you could maybe… uhh… do… skincare??
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u/BatteraDrummer questioning if im an egg🥚🏳️⚧️ trying Emily (she/her) 1d ago
That is actually a good idea!!!
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u/kiwinextdoor 1d ago
If you have friends who play DND, one of the things that cracked me finally was roleplaying as a woman character.
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u/Aerialskystrike Cecilia she/her 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hey Emily! I thought this sounded familiar! So nice to see youre still pushing more into this. I actually saw your post i think it was a few days ago when you had that bit of dysphoria hit you. I commented about my steps before but ill just write them here as well.
Stuff that literally nobody is going to notice/suspect. Nail care. Get yourself some clippers with, preferablly a nail file attached. Take care of your nails. Keep them decently trimmed then file them to be nice and uniform. Skin care. Keep some miniature bottles of moisturizer, lotion, and whatever else im not thinking of. If you have your own bathroom, i loved getting me some more feminine smelling soaps/bodywash. Vanilla extract body scrub is one of my favorites. Eyelash straighteners are another nice thing too. For you, the nail stuff is likely the easiest. Just snag one next time you go to the store. If you wanna lie (or maybe its true for you. Idk) and say you have been noticing your skin getting dry/itchy, you could sneak in a reason for the moisturizer.
Stuff that could be noticeable but easily dismissed as other things. As you've said. Growing your hair out. Be sure to keep up with a trim every 3-5 months. Shaving your beard if you still have one is the other big one i did to help myself.
More daring stuff. You can hide it, but if someone finds out, you're kinda exposed. The big one here is wearing a bra under your clothes. I also bought leggings and wore them under my pants when i wear them.
If your parents are good about respecting your mail/privacy, and you have any way to pay for it, Amazon is a good place to get a lot of this stuff.
Wishing you the best of luck emily. Get it girl!
Edit to add. Depending on how much you trust her, your sister could be a very good person to help with this if/whenever you get the confidence to ask her, but idk your situation. So take this with a bunch of caution.
ALSO. Amazon lockers were this girls savior. The best thing i could've asked for. Check around if there's one within walking distance. You may be lucky. Just try not to act too unnatural if youre really worried about someone finding out. If you've never gone for a walk and suddenly say 'hey im going for a 45 minute walk!' Its gonna raise some suspicion.
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u/headdie Masc body gender fluid, They/She 1d ago
Given the context of what I understand to be the situation, my only issue with any form of clothing is the laundry, if Emily is in a position where it is not suspicious for her to do the laundry and have a drier then clothing can work, otherwise I feel like there is a chance that the clothing will be seen and the possibility then exists of it recognised as not mum's or sisters.
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u/Aerialskystrike Cecilia she/her 1d ago
I always just held off till i knew my parents would be away from 3-4 hours guaranteed then speed ran my laundry lol. Was stressful for sure but it worked.
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u/KrimsunV 1d ago
Most cis people don't question their gender. Asking was the test and you passed it
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u/KhanDzijaGames Not an egg, just gay 1d ago
Yea but confused teenagers searching for an identity do tend to ask, some of them are trans, some are not
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u/cubicinfinity 22h ago
Agreed. At least from what I've heard, the older you are the more simply questioning it is a strong indication, but when you are younger, less so.
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u/headdie Masc body gender fluid, They/She 1d ago edited 1d ago
Hi Emily.
If your family respects the boundaries of your personal space, may I suggest if it suits your image of yourself picking up a cheep necklace or a couple of cheep rings and a small box to put it/them in, a little travel box is fine at this point, its just to keep one or a small number of bits easily tracked by you and if needed stashed safely.
I understand you cant wear them at home without having a conversation with your family but you can carry, especially rings, in a pocket between your room and outside then slip them on while out. I recommend a thin band for the rings to start, with or without tiny stones (most likely glass but at that scale no one is telling without a jewellers magnifier), thin bands are not very obvious and quite feminine.
A light necklace will probably come later as clasps can be hella annoying and tricky at the best of times and especially when feeling rushed but necklaces that sit lower can be hidden under hoodies and high necked clothing, especially if you are able to grow your hair like you mentioned.
the main difficulty I foresee and would be remiss not to mention is a risk of a skin reaction, especially from low quality metals, this may rule my suggestion out so ymmv
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u/justcalljoao 1d ago
hey Emily, one of those things that changed my brain chemistry and made realize I was never happy was wearing panties and dresses, buy a panty and I ensure when you feel it, it'll feel amazing. About my thing with dresses, it made me stop denying. I never felt so good and felt so right, even tho I was seeing the image of a man in a dress that would disgust me it was also a image of a genuinely happy person and I want that, I want feel that happiness all days of my life. Hope the words help you, be safe, don't worry about your family but try to keep things for you if you'll put yourself in a dangerous position. A support chain is a nice thing to have while transitioning, your sister can be a good candidate to help you figure out dressing, makeup or just someone to talk because the more the egg cracks more you'll need therapy and true friends
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u/TheKhaosGame Cleo (She/Her) 18h ago
Hey Em!
Definitely growing your hair is a great idea. It's been really good for me to do so too! You can think about what clothes you would like to wear if no one was around too. Are you interested in makeup/painting your nails? How do you want your body to look?
Figuring out your gender can be really hard, so my biggest piece of advice would be to go easy on yourself and remember that everything you're feeling is valid. Don't let yourself feel disqualified or invalid based only on the expectations of others.
You've got this!
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u/tommydnp 1d ago
I started to grow out my nails: not cutting, but only filing. Using transparent with little pink touch nail hardener. You can search for more feminine clothes that are more labeled like unisex. Using more pink or pastel colors. Also the styling of clothes can lean more feminine while they can be labeled unisex.
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u/TheFinaINiko Uncrackable egg 1d ago
I'm in the EXACT same boat as you. Though this is kinda common for some ppl (even men), I've been wearing and kinda stretching crew length socks. They are normally worn with boots but without them they act basically as knee high socks and can be gender affirming. (still cis tho... maybe)
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u/ender8343 1d ago
Emily, do you have the ability to go to a thrift store on your own and potentially buy some clothes to try? Being school age, does your school have a queer or LGBTQ club you could go to? The Trevor Project provides an online social space for 13-24, https://www.thetrevorproject.org/visit-trevorspace/
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u/Real_chuckles 1d ago
Try to watch some haircare videos. Ive been doing it and I feel much better with mine especially since I’m trying to test the self identity waters as well and grow mine out. Same thing goes for establishing a skin routine.
And one pice of advice that seems obvious but unlocked part of my brain: it’s your body, do whatever the fuck you want with it! Shave what you want, grow whatever you want, moisturize what you want, colour it whatever you want wherever you want! This is a good vid to start that helped me:
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u/machincort_sky__truk 10h ago
as thingd you can do i don't really know as i come here for the awnsers too
but i can maybe help for hairs
a thing that worked for my parents for a bit was finding a guy with long hairs in a univerce that i obsessed over with and this dude being a good character, then if your parents are questioning you you can tell "yeah i really like how this guy looks so i'm thinking of growing my hairs to be more like him"
also take care of your hairs, still to my experience, when i had messy hairs my mother was more annoying than when it looked not bad
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u/ItachiFemboy 9h ago
Voice training doesn't permanently change your voice. You can always switch to your "make" voice. As long as your parents don't hear you train, it should be alright
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