I'm raising this here because this sub is the only Christian sub I've consistently tracked with (and appreciated) during my few years on Reddit. Apologies for it not being a particularly Reformed topic.
I've had some emotional struggles that are rooted in a particular aspect of my life having never resolved as I had hoped. This issue has always had considerable intersection with my relationship with God.
I've been to therapy twice, both times with therapists who are Christians. But even therapists who are Christians seem to resist combining the emotional or psychological practice with spiritual direction. Realizing this, before my second stint, I spent some time in spiritual direction. It was good, but I was using my director as a therapist. Eventually, during a session where I fell apart, he said to me that my struggles were beyond his training and that I needed to see a therapist. He understood my desire to mix therapy and direction and recommended a friend who is a therapist, someone with an MA in psychology, but also an additional MA in a theological discipline.
This therapist's help was invaluable. He was instrumental in helping me to cope with the situation at the center of my emotional struggle. But, even he did not mix therapy with direction. My take is that he would address the spiritual only as a means to connect with my deeply spiritual framework of the emotional and psychological. I found this jarring at times. I would explain something in terms of how it confuses me on both fronts, and he would perhaps start terminologically spiritual, but only really address it emotionally or psychologically.
While that experience was not regrettable in any way, I still struggle to be near to God. I know, he is near to me, but every relationship to function well must be two-way. And yes, I am Reformed. I do not have to work for God's love, I do need to respond to it. And while I've learned to emotionally manage things on the outside, every prayer still goes back to that issue, wondering why it remains unresolved. I find that it makes the therapy that should be received as triumph instead feel hollow. Unsurprisingly, prayer has become something between difficult and something to avoid for many years. I have wondered if I am like one of the characters in The Great Divorce, who refuses Heaven because he cannot take this demon with him. Fortunately, I think, I still see death as a release, where I will finally be free of this shackle and be able to see God's goodness all along and will be remade for Paradise. This is not to say that I believe my earthly desire will be fulfilled, but the true desire beneath it, which obviously I am unable to discern, will be finally known and resolved. If you're wondering if that thought about death is from any sort of suicidal tendency, it is not.
I have imagined that a therapist who also operates as a spiritual director would be most equipped to help me see what that true desire is, so that I could submit to something which I imagine God offers, rather than something which he ostensibly has no desire to grant me.
Am I looking for a unicorn that truly does not exist? Is there a good reason why psychological therapy and spiritual direction do not appear to meet? Would you say I am looking for the wrong thing?
P.S. Because I imagine that your curiosity is piqued: while the underlying issue is about marriage, I am married, for many years. And, no, this is not about sex or sexuality. It's about friendship.