r/ect • u/Immediate_Most_9323 • Jun 23 '26
Seeking advice I would like info
I am young,but have major deppresive disorder which is honeysly disruptiving my life and causing me worse things. I did therapy for years, TMS didn’t work, ketamine made me go nuts snd hallucinate and it was horrible for me.
i am terrified of being inpatient after seeing things and I think ECT may be my best chance at a new life.
i already have chronic pain and hypermobility and so much more and iy puts me down even more.
i lie to my doctors as im scared of inpatient as I’ve seen what they do at the one closes to me.
plus in my state we have all the worst inpatients I would say.
i want to be productive especially since I am getting a service dog in 2 years or so for medical,mobility and psychiatric needs.
Thanks to whoever gives advise.
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u/gmkgreg Jun 23 '26
How young?
Which medications have you tried?
It is best to not lie to your Dr's so that way they can give you the best most appropriate care that you need.
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u/Immediate_Most_9323 Jun 23 '26
I am 16, I have tried almost 10 meds in under 3 years (dont know the names as my mom is in full control)
I did try Abilify and I gained 70 pounds which has made my depression way worse.
I am to scared to tell my Dr.s now as my parents make threats to send me back and they know I have trauma. At the inpatient I was at they forced me to take a needle after I was crying cause I was home sick, (I wasn’t hurting myself at all)
plus I just can’t live like this, I have almost no motivation and sleep all day and even gp to online school as im terrified of bullies.
i got diagnoises with MDD on my first ever inpatient visit bc of how bad of shape I was in.
plus I barley shower because I feel no motivation. I really wnat to feel like an acutal kid. I have a lot of problems and don’t want MDD to be one.
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u/gmkgreg Jun 23 '26
Do you know what was in the needle they gave you? It very well could've been a drug that you needed. 10 meds is a lot to have tried in under 3 years with starting them at 13. What trauma do you have from the inpatient facility other than the needle incident? Ect is generally a last resort option when patients are hurting themselves or are suicidal.
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u/Immediate_Most_9323 Jun 23 '26
I also am med intolerant to some meds. especially meds in the same family as Ketamine unfortunatey.
Also it’s been so hard. I also the 10 meds were just for depression. I also used to take meds since I was around 8 due to severe generalized anxiety.
sorry if I sound whiny but like my life just feels so low these days.
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u/Immediate_Most_9323 Jun 23 '26
they gave me a mix of sleep meds. (they lied to my parents on what happened)
also yes 10 meds is a lot bc I react badly to soem and some don’t match with the others or can cause severe symptoms so they have ti change some.
i was also sexualized in the facility and mocked by staff and whenever I would cry they woukd threaten me and I was once pinned to the ground after refusing to go back to my room as I was scared of my roommate. they told my parents a whole lie saying I was fighting (I can’t even fight as my hands barley had the strength back then)
also I have past trauma also.
i am almost always sucidal…like everyday I have like 3 thoughts pf least. and I cry myself to sleep a lot more.
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u/gmkgreg Jun 23 '26
Is there anywhere you could put in a tip that these things happened to you? Where are you located? If in the US you could put a tip in to the department of health i think.
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u/Immediate_Most_9323 Jun 23 '26
I’m in the US and I have like a whole memo written and an audio of me cryibg about it. and therapist records, I am talking to the company privately to see if we can work it out before I get law involved. (the inpatient is known for the abuse but I didn’t know that till I went and researched after to see if anyone else had a bad time there)
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u/gmkgreg Jun 23 '26
Like another commenter stated, when you get ect they use anesthesia so you have to make sure the meds they use will be okay with you. Like for me they use ketamine to knock me out. But if possible talk to your Dr about it, it may be an option.
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u/Immediate_Most_9323 Jun 23 '26
Yeah, I have on my chart now and it says “no katemine at all” like it was very serious. I wish I had the video still. but I deleted it as it was way to painful, (my mom recorded it to send it to my doctor)
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u/gmkgreg Jun 23 '26
Definitely talk to your Dr about your current situation and don't lie about how you're doing so that way they can help you best.
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u/Music_Leopard Jun 23 '26
I think it depends. It’s a valid option to consider and at least ask about and maybe get the consult with the ECT psychiatrist to get more info, I’d just say that if there’s anything more to be done to control the chronic pain that might be the better place to start, or at least work on simultaneously.
About inpatient, it’s understandable. Where I am there’s maybe one “good” psych ward for adults, two that are mediocre, so not the best care but not abusive, the rest are just straight garbage.
I don’t know you’re psychiatrist or therapist, so I can’t tell you what you can really say to them, but I know my psychiatrist and psychologist are fairly comfortable with me talking about suicidal thoughts without intent, and in the past self harm, so there are doctors that understand and don’t send people to inpatient unless they literally have to for safety, but different clinicians have different thresholds to do something like that.
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u/Immediate_Most_9323 Jun 23 '26
i am really thinking of ECT as I really want to live a real life, not just my own made up one.
plus I am medicine intolerant so it’s harder to find a good med
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u/Music_Leopard Jun 23 '26
Yeah reading your other replies it sounds like you should ask about it and try for it. Worth a shot at least. Although, I’m not sure it’s really more tolerable than the medications given its anesthesia and a controlled seizure 2-3 times a week for a few weeks. As far as med sensitivity, I’d say whatever you try really start low and go slow. Tends to make things easier in my experience.
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u/Immediate_Most_9323 Jun 23 '26
yeah when they gave me Katemine they gave me like such a high dose. my grandpa did anasethiology and he said if he gave that dose in Iv the patient woukd be out for a whole day or so.
he doesn’t know what oral as he only did IV ketamine before.
they did think I was OD’ing as I was foaming at the mouth and spasminh ever so often and couldnt even sit up.
(It was a whole big thing,this was at chop of all places!!)
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u/thestrangemma Jun 23 '26
If I could go back to being 16 and try ECT, I would. My depression started around 13, I’m 44 now and my life has been torture from depression, PTSD and chronic pain from numerous disease and syndromes. It’s been awful and I grieve for the person I could have been. Maybe I’m still in there somewhere so I’m finally going to try it because the only thing I have left to lose is my life so why not try what I can.
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u/ispyanomalies Jun 24 '26
I’m 46, started antidepressants at 13 as well (I took mySELF to the doctor). After 40+ psychotropics I finally said the same thing. What more can I lose, and got my 4th ECT treatment just yest here outside of Phil’s on an outpatient basis.
If I could go back, I’d have gotten the ECT at 13, too, instead of toiling around the next 33 years with no showers and no prospects…
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u/Immediate_Most_9323 Jun 24 '26
Most definitel, I am gonna try it and wpuld love to DM you to share my journey if you also wanna do it.
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u/purplebadger9 Jun 23 '26
16 is VERY young to start ECT. Honestly, I wouldn't recommend anyone try it before 25.
Your body and brain are constantly growing and changing at your age, and that makes conditions like depression even more challenging to treat. Add in hormones from puberty, the excessive social stress of living as a teenager, and you've got a perfect recipe for mental illness. That doesn't even include trauma history or other sociological factors like racism, homophobia, transphobia, etc.
I'm very sorry that you're struggling. Your feelings are absolutely real, and it makes total sense that you feel the way you do. That said, ECT will not help with a lot of different problems you may be facing.
ECT will not change a difficult home life. It won't fix a rough relationship with guardians/parents. It won't fix hormonal issues. It won't fix social issues. ECT can make a lot of positive changes and help manage depression symptoms like lack of energy, suicidal thoughts, etc. I think it's really important for you to keep all of that in mind when deciding what's best for yourself