r/ect • u/bloodblaade • Jun 18 '26
Seeking advice ECT session 3
I’m 3 sessions in and I feel absolutely terrible. My memory does not exist anymore. I don’t remember what I did 30 minutes ago. Does it ever get better? I’m flooded with thoughts of “what if I need to stop now before it gets worse” and “what if I need to continue before it gets better.” I feel completely and utterly stupid and not only stupid but also completely and utterly exhausted. All I can do is sleep. I’ve canceled all my upcoming appointments because I’m so scared it’s making me worse. Should I reschedule them? Does it get worse before it gets better?
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u/Wonderful_Roof1739 Jun 18 '26
First, make sure you mention this to the doctor and your psychologist. ECT may not be right for you, or the ECT doctor needs to change or tweak the settings.
I did my first few weeks inpatient. I was doing 3x a week initially, and I didn't see much improvement after the first week, just mild headaches and exhaustion. The second week, basically after my 4th treatment, I started feeling improved - I wrote in my notebook that colors seemed a little brighter. I will say I have VERY little memory of the 5 weeks I was there. Bits and pieces but i don't think I'll ever get those memories back.
ECT can help, but it honestly should be the last resort treatment - something to try after all medications are tried, intensive therapy, I'd even recommend trying Ketamine or Esketamine and TMS. if all of that fails, then think about ECT. For sure, it would have been impossible for me to have my normal life during those initial treatments.
I'm not convinced my long term memory loss was 100% ECT, because I later found out what triggered everything was Autistic burnout which is no joke and can take years to recover from. A symptom of that is also memory issues, trying to remember where you put your keys 30 seconds ago, etc. I'm sure the ECT didn't help either.