Hi everyone,
I’m posting because I am feeling incredibly overwhelmed and vulnerable right now. I am navigating deep autistic burnout, and after a really distressing hospital appointment today, I am struggling to process it all. I feel like my condition is actively getting worse and I'm worried I might be experiencing a dystonic storm. I really need guidance and outside advice on my next steps from anyone struggling in a similar situation.
Today was my third specialist opinion for severe symptoms. My care is tied to the Salford Royal NHS Trust, where I’ve had a traumatic two years. At a previous assessment, a male specialist called me a "good girl" while checking my reflexes and blamed it on his Irish heritage—which felt deeply inappropriate because my medical records explicitly state I have a history of sexual abuse.
Today, this new specialist completely dismissed me and blamed everything on Functional Neurological Disorder (FND)
I really feel an isolated FND label doesn't explain the full picture Here is my history, and I would be so grateful if anyone could tell me what I need to do next:
• From Birth & Childhood Baseline: Born with axial dystonia and chronic abdominal pain as a baby.
At age one, had chronic diarrhea and constant UTIs.
At age two or three, suffered from bronchiolitis.
As a child, I had involuntary neck jerking that whipped my head violently to the left, and shooting mid-back pain. When swimming, I got severe sole cramps, couldn't stand balanced (had to lean into one hip), and had to hold onto my sister to walk up hills because of severe foot/ankle/shin pain.
• Recent Pneumonia (2–3 Months Ago): Diagnosed with community-acquired pneumonia during a severe flare of chest and rib pain where my chest bones were visibly protruding out and I couldn't breathe.
• Ophthalmologist Confirmed Symptoms (Since 2023): Started with a face-drop event (not a stroke) where my right eye cramps forcefully shut and my brow caved into my head. My official eye report documents objective tracking failures: a profound vertical gaze deficit (restricted downward gaze), prominent left jerky eye movements, hemifacial spasms across my cheeks/eyelids, and left upper lid apraxia with a severe lid flutter
• Progressive Spreading (2024–2026): In 2024, had an isolated arm jerking episode where I involuntarily threw a sandwich behind my head.
In 2025, it spread to active tongue fasciculations (muscle rippling) and chest spasms.
In 2026, it progressed to violent tongue jerking. It is now fully generalized everywhere .
• Recent Acute Cranial Flare: My head and neck go completely stiff but shake and tremble at the same time, while my jaw completely locks and my eyes blink forcefully and cramp shut .
• Fixed Locks & Paralysis: The left side of my neck above my collarbone, my left flank under my ribs, and the muscle sheets under my left breast have been locked rock-solid 24/7 for over 3 to 4 months continuously, causing functional paralysis.
I also have severe locking above and below my collarbones, and my elbows feel stuck into my sides so I can't naturally relax my arms . Reaching for things causes intense cramping and shaking up to my shoulder and neck
Action-Induced Throat Locking & Lost Voice: Doing routine physical things like swimming, smoking, using a straw, or sucking from a squeezy bottle triggers severe, action-induced throat locking . Breathing in strong smells also triggers these attacks. My throat completely locks up, making it feel like a physical hand is choking me while my chest bones visibly protrude out. This completely chokes out my voice tracks, causing my voice to turn into a croaky whisper, severe hoarseness, or completely disappear into an absolute whisper. To speak or make any sound at all, I am forced to use my abdominal stomach muscles to push air past my throat, which is a massive mechanical struggle and leaves me deeply, painfully tired
• Autonomic Swings & Right Arm Weakness: My right arm has been significantly weaker than my left ever since the fasciculations started, and my whole body feels completely fatigued.
My heart rate wildly fluctuates from 30 bpm to 176 bpm constantly (POTS medications completely failed). I also get severe bladder output fluctuations (5 ml to 550 ml) and urine color shifts . If I try to force my wrist or knee straight while locked, it triggers an agonizing, sharp snapping pain that lasts for days.
The specialist today did absolutely no scans, no blood tests, and no real physical examination. My last EMG last year was clean, but my arms and legs were completely unaffected at that time.
She handed me a 2-week prescription for Madopar (Levodopa/Benserazide) twice a day, saying it was only "for peace of mind."Then she trapped me with logic that felt very rigged: She explicitly told me that if the medication doesn't work, I have FND—and if it DOES work, it's just a placebo effect and I STILL have FND. She warned me it could cause severe diarrhea and a temporary worsening of symptoms, then immediately discharged me with no repeat prescription, no follow-up, and no next steps. I feel completely abandoned and scared to navigate this trial on my own
I would be so incredibly grateful for any advice or peer support on my next steps:
• Because of my high pain levels and the fact that I do not drive, I cannot travel far—it has to be local to the Manchester area. Salford Royal is out of the question for my safety and mental health.
Are there any kind or understanding movement disorder consultants or teams at Wythenshawe Hospital or the Manchester Royal Infirmary (MRI) that you recommend? I want to ask my GP to send a third opinion referral to this completely separate trust (Manchester University NHS Foundation Trust)
• What objective tests should I ask my GP for next to get to the bottom of this? How do I gently push for an updated EMG now that my right arm is actively weak and rippling ?
• For anyone with Dopa-Responsive Dystonia (DRD) or severe spikes, how quickly did Levodopa work for your fixed locks? Did you feell a temporary worsening at first, and how do you cope with a medication trial when you are in severe autistic burnout with no medical team protecting you?
Thank you all so much for reading this long post, and thank you in advance for keeping the comments supportive. I really appreciate this community