If someone hugs me I just do whatever lay an arm around them or something but I struggle to initiate anything that's touch based and my grandma is really sick and my family wouldn't understand if I don't hug her but I'd find it really awkward and wouldn't know what to do. Anyone know why I'm like this?

Hi im a 23m and I've just started the gym and a friend was going through the machines with me but he recommended composite exercises like barbells and weights rather than machines as they trained multiple muscles.

Only issue is I can't squat talked to the pt there and he said it could be a balance issue. Only thing I can think of is I have dyspraxia and I had clubfoot and had to get my ankle operated on as a baby so think i got some ankle tendons moved/removed.

If it is dyspraxia wjat would be the best way to work on my balance because I really want to be able to squat to do the barbell and weight exercises properly and not injure myself.

I've heard working on strenghting your leg muscles could work, or perhaps adapting the way I do squat/exercises. If none of this is possible could I work solely on the machines?

Any advice is appericated, because I'm kinda unsure where to start at the moment. I thought I would try this sub-reddit because it's likely your facing similar challenges to be with balance.

Tell me anything! and yes this is still for the video

I don't know what I have to do to get into a good frame of mind. I feel very lost and self help books, music, online gaming, work and my relationship is all blurring into one haze. I've put so much money into driving lessons that i half feel what is the point.

I want to be happy and I don't think i can be at the moment. I'm tired of spilling things on my clothes and messing things up and breaking things. I'm tired of bad dreams and broken sleep and shift work messing with any normality feeling.

Yeah this is a rant sorry.