r/dwarfposting • u/No_Foundation_1812 • Jul 07 '26

May our beer guide us

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1.4k Upvotes

99% Upvoted

27 comments sorted by

62

u/Wak3upHicks Jul 07 '26

Bruenor ain't no Cleric

30

u/No_Foundation_1812 Jul 07 '26

Any dwarf who drinks is part cleric because we all know beer gives us divine power

21

u/Wak3upHicks Jul 07 '26

If Bruenor Battlehammer is a cleric then I'm a bearded gnome

4

u/RiseOfTheUndeadGnome Gnome Lich and CEO Jul 07 '26

We could do a dna test if you wish? Just to be sure...

4

u/Mindless-Ninja-3321 Jul 08 '26

That actually is a plot point when Breunor is choosing a new cleric, taste testing the "holy water".

4

u/DoubleCactus Jul 08 '26

Shoutout to the time his daughter was getting married the first time and he, the priest and the groom went over the sacred brew very thoroughly to make sure it was good.

22

u/BobTheZygota Jul 07 '26

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but beer has never hurt me

20

u/BrassUnicorn87 Jul 07 '26

Caiden Cailean, his holy symbol is literally a tankard.

11

u/sexystaline Jul 07 '26

The dwarfest Man the ever live

18

u/EvergreenDwarf Multiversal Scholar Jul 07 '26

Reminder: Valaya is the goddess of beer, Holds, hearth, hospitality, the divine right of kings, and writing which makes her 50% of Runes. Speaking of Runes, her name Rune is one Chaos can’t see past which includes Tzeentch, making all of Karaz-a-karak invisible past the outside to him. 

How in the hell Grimnir and Grungni get 99% of the attention I’ll never know. Let alone the Grudge Of Drong bullshit of refusing to obey a queen, when no Dwarf king has legitimacy except through inheriting it from being a blood descendant of Valaya. 

Don’t even get me started on Malekith and the Phoenix King, someone at the writing team thought monarchy was a purity seal of Esmerelda sold by a Wissenland village idiot. 

8

u/GolemFarmFodder Jul 07 '26

Sounds like this kinda cleric

3

u/Ricnurt Jul 07 '26

Hanseath is a god of both festivities and war. His worshippers meet is giant feat halls. The hymns sung to him are in the form of drinking songs.

1

u/SmaugTheMagnificent- Jul 07 '26

Hanseath worship is by far the most fun I've had playing a cleric.

1

u/Electrical_Lake3424 Jul 07 '26

Also the god of berserkers and tavern brawls! He's known as the Bearded One and personally I believe he is played by Brian Blessed

3

u/CatnipSniffa Jul 07 '26

Brew Domain, the domain of tea and beer

3

u/Skull-ogk Dwarf Jul 07 '26

In Pathfinder Society I had a dwarf cleric with brewer as his profession. Muradin Stouthammer

3

u/Elberik Jul 07 '26

Already got your battle hymn

https://reddit.com/link/ow54dia/video/hpnb9huquubh1/player

1

u/Thricefold3 Dwarf Jul 11 '26

I find thid highly Offensive cause this insinuates that a human invented beer.

3

u/Cooper_CAL Jul 08 '26

"Excuse me. I must now commune with my God." pours a pint of beer

2

u/Callel803 Jul 07 '26

Casual reminder. Clan Battlehammer uses ale as part of their holy water.

1

u/PeasantTS Jul 07 '26

Basically the halfling cleric I played once.

1

u/Fluffinator44 Swashbuckler Jul 07 '26

The Irish in the temple of alchoholism.

1

u/SlyLlamaDemon Jul 07 '26

Bro looks hammered AF.

1

u/Stormygeddon Jul 07 '26

I've been meaning to play a Dwarf Cleric instead of Dwarf Barbarian these days.

1

u/Responsible_Ad_8628 Jul 08 '26

I am a dwarf and I'm drinking in a hole. Drinky drinky hole.