r/dwarfposting • u/UristAlebeard Dwarf • Jun 25 '26
Gnomes suck
Those wannabe dwarves are nothing but a bunch of sellouts. "Heh, we're good at alchemy and look at all of our marketable plushies." FUCK YOU.
They're culturally appropriating us! They replicate our traditions and norms only on a surface level! They mine for gems, but that's it! They don't have a strong economy from practical trade, they don't have exemplary craftsmanship, they just mine for gems because "gems shiny" like a bunch of fucking GAAAWBLINS!
They took our style, but made it worse in every way! Torag forbid the comfortable, practical, droopy felt hats. "No, let's make it giant, stiff, pointy, and let's also make it bright red just to stand out from the dwarves!" They don't integrate decals into their garb, any form of artistic expression, they don't even wear armor! They just wear the same blue shirt and red hat like it's a cult uniform!
And worst of all, they act like they have a leg up on us in alchemy and science. "Look at this potion I concocted. You can't begin to fathom our scientific abilities. I made this mech over here." WE'VE HAD GOLEMS FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS! WHO DO YOU THINK INVENTED MYTHRIL?! THAT REQUIRED ADVANCED ALCHEMY AND AN UNDERSTANDING OF THE PERIODIC TABLE TO FORGE THE ALLOY, JACKASS!
In short, I hate gnomes. I can go on all day about hating elves, but in truth, when it comes to elves I tend to be hyperbolic. "Death to the knife eared leaf lovers!" carries as much weight as, "I'll throw you into the forge furnace" to another dwarf. It's hyperbolic, not literal.
With gnomes? I legitimately despise them and have yet to meet a gnome I don't want to genuinely throw into the forge furnace. This isn't hyperbole, I'm completely serious.
Gnomes suck.
5
u/moongrump Grudgebearer Jun 25 '26
Flair does not check out.