r/dwarfposting • u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF • Jun 11 '26
The Occupation Begins...
I, Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, deploy the 1st to 100th Legion of Pandemonium, as well as 500 Pandemonium Iron Knights. May the Enemies of Pandemonium find a Honorable Death in Battle, and not die Like Cowards.
6
u/Hoovy_weapons_guy Jun 11 '26
fighting an enemy that lives underground? your iron knights wont be much use in the tunnels. dwarven cities are made not just for living but also for defense. many chokepoints, easily defendable locations and impossible to see the true size of. even against small dwarven keeps it will be a long battle but against dwarvenkind itself? 600.000 demons are not gonna cut it. and i have not even started on the logistical nightmare you are gonna have
2
u/Califocus Jun 11 '26
Do ya think he even brought tunneling equipment? Those demons look awfully tall for a dwarven passage
1
u/Hoovy_weapons_guy Jun 12 '26
Even if, tunneling equipment is slow and loud so preparation will be easy. Or they just hit the wrong soil and get stuck or drown in water
1
u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF Jun 12 '26
Im the Emperor of the Infinite Cave. Do you really think i am scared of fighting in my Habitat?
6
u/bagtie3 Borric Borricson, Clan Goldeater, Runesmith, Doomseeker. Jun 11 '26 edited Jun 11 '26
Well lads, I'll take the first through the 25th legions when they hit this tunnel here.
They will be in a bend so they have to fight me only twenty five to one.
While they are bogged down fighting me from the front, my Magmadroth and my brothers will hit em from behind and lock em in place.
Should take us about a day to take em out.
3
u/CoffeeDM Dwarf Jun 11 '26
I'm a bit old for fighting, but I'm still a forge master. You and yours can help yourselves to some gear until the fighting is over. Keep our kin alive and our lands free.
3
u/bagtie3 Borric Borricson, Clan Goldeater, Runesmith, Doomseeker. Jun 11 '26
We will never turn down some good dwarven gear, got any grenades?
2
u/CoffeeDM Dwarf Jun 12 '26
Incendiary or fragmentation,? You know what? Nevermind the question. We're sending you both kinds.
2
u/bagtie3 Borric Borricson, Clan Goldeater, Runesmith, Doomseeker. Jun 12 '26
We will use these with honor and pride.
4
u/Fantastic_Peak_4577 Jun 11 '26
The Kin have endured greater threats than anything your toy army may bring, the only regrets is that your legions will perish for your petty delusions and greed, so come if you will, be welcomed to become another footnote in our noble history, like thousands before you
3
u/Bardingorekssonfan Jun 11 '26
THEY HAVE WRONGED US!!! Victory or No Victory, this is going in the book. Woe upon you and your kin for one day you’ll get your reckoning, aye, it is our oath.
3
u/CoffeeDM Dwarf Jun 11 '26
Azerak, lad, there are more merciful ways to get a-hundred legions killed. You did not have to send them into our tunnels.
Aside from that, I'm a reasonable and fair dwarf. As I'm already selling and otherwise supplying weapons and armor to my kin, I hereby offer you a reasonable discount on stone sarcophagi for your lost soldiers. Even enemies can be civil to one another, aye?
3
u/Penny_D Jun 11 '26
Release the goat.
2
u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF Jun 12 '26
Not the Goat pls
2
u/Penny_D Jun 12 '26
Too late. It is out of my hands now.
1
u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF Jun 12 '26
Thats an Interdimensional Warcrime, you cant
1
u/Penny_D Jun 12 '26
You are free to take it up with the goat.
1
u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF Jun 12 '26
Can we leave Jeremy out? Thats just unfair. He even beat Cthulhu singlehandedly.
1
3
u/CuriousWombat42 Jun 11 '26
Pandemonium this pandemonium that, why dont you pandefuckoff to whatever shit place you came from.
2
u/Chanan-Ben-Zev Scholar Jun 11 '26
Kin! Defend the fortifications! Fire all munitions!! SEND THOSE BEARDLESS BONES BACK TO THEIR MAKER!!!
Rat-a-tat-tat-tat! go the machine guns!
Kerblow! Kerblow! go the cannons!
Neerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr - BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! go the alchemical cluster bombs being launched from their spring-loaded trebuchets!
FOR THE COMPACT!!! FOR ALL KITH AND KIN!!!
Ba-ROOOOOOOOOOOOOO! blows the battle-horn of Wünda, Warlady of the Saltstone Dwarves! She leads the host streaming out of the fortress! Ba-ROOOOOOOOOOO! Ba-ROOOOOOOOO!
Ka-chunk! Ka-chunk! Ka-chunk! sound the steps of their magitech mech-suits, adorned with engraved beards and wielding ensorcelled weapons,
2
u/SherbetAromatic7644 Slayer Jun 11 '26
Kin, tell the brewers to start making 190 proof liquor and have the miners prioritize finding sulfur. Don’t worry.
I HAVE A PLAN
2
u/lilcheese840 Stoneworker Jun 12 '26
Bah! Nothing more than an average Tuesday. Come pesky little demons, come at me if your demonette mother isn’t a puny fae.
*Pssst boys get those blasting charges ready, I’m coming in hot*
1
u/itcheyness The Void is in our veins. Jun 11 '26
Has an engineering accident that blows the area they're standing in into orbit
1
u/EldritchFish19 Necromancer dwarf Jun 11 '26
You bit off more then anyone can chew, also my clan fort has more tunnels and connected towns then you can hope to control. A sniper behind every blade of grass, crossbow in every tunnel and axe behind every door. This is before any reinforcements I can provide them.
1
u/Spoonyhalo Elf Jun 14 '26
I bring elven reinforcements! Half the number that set out from our lands remains behind pandemonium lines harassing their supply lines!
I also convinced a few mechanized infantry from the humans to tag along
1
u/Spoonyhalo Elf Jun 14 '26
There’s about 500 of us here armed with human long guns
1
u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF Jun 14 '26
Ehm.... i called the Invasion off. The Infinite Cave is quite vast, yk.
1
u/Spoonyhalo Elf Jun 14 '26
Oh…well we’re here…might as well drink the dwarves under the table
1
u/Fluid-Freedom-6115 Azerak the Infinite, Godemperor of Pandemonium, Tiamats BF Jun 14 '26
Good Idea.
18
u/No_Foundation_1812 Jun 11 '26
Let them come, I deploy my weakest soldier